Sounds like the black sheep of the families are the ones who have all the fun. Now I wish I had been a black sheep, but I was too scared to go against my dad to challenge the rules.
I am looking after my daughter's boyfriend dog since I am home all the time and he is at work then here at night.
The problem is she has long fur which has become very matted. I have tried to cut out the mats but some of them are very close to her skin. Does anyone know how to get them out as it will be awhile before we can afford to take her and get groomed.
A lady on a cruise bought a parrot on an island stop and took it back to the ship. After two days at sea the lady found her new friend laying on its back - feet pointed straight up.
She hailed the ship's doctor, "Please help my friend," wailed the lady. "I'm sorry the bird is quite dead" said the doc. "No, no..it can't be", cried the lady.
The doctor called in his own pet, a Labrador retriever, which sniffed the bird, shook his head and walked out.
Next, the doctor called in his cat which carefully walked a circle around the bird and walked out.
"No doubt about it ", said the doctor, "That is a dead bird."
The doctor reached for his pen and pad. He wrote out a bill and handed it to the lady. "Eight Hundred dollars!?" cried the lady.
"That's Correct! I'm charging you for three procedures. There is my opinion, a lab report and a cat scan." And You Must be ....
Pat says to the Mike, "Where did you get that shiner? It's a dozy! "
Mike said, "Do you know that cute women who is a nurse at the infirmary?"
"Why yes I do", said Pat, "she is quite the looker! The word is that there has been some hanky panky between you and her. I also know that her husband just got back from sea duty!!"
"That, my friend, is a little piece of information I could have used BEFORE I decided to visit her apartment, take a shower and when the bathroom door opened, jump out yelling surprise!!"
A Pool for My Baby
The rich tycoon bought a luxury yacht for his only daughter upon her graduation.
It was large and even had its own onboard pool. The tycoon dad brought the daughter aboard for the first time for a tour of the boat. The last thing to see was the pool.
All around the pool were shirtless ship construction workers finishing up some painting.
The daughter clasped her hands and screeched, " Oh, daddy it's a wonderful pool and you've even stocked it for me!"
But Things Have Changed Lord! God, deciding that the Earth had become too wicked again, sent down Noah to build another ark and to again save two of every living thing. “You have six months before I send the great flood.” God said.
Six months later, God called in the thunder and lightning and the rain came. He looked down and found Noah very distraught and with not one plank on the boat’s hull.
“Noah, I have started the storm, why is the boat not finished?”
“There have been some construction delays Lord. First I was told I needed a building permit. Then a group called PETA protested saying that it was inhumane to put all the animals in such a small place. Then I was told that because I lived in a flood plain I could not build the ark there. I told them that building it in a flood plain was exactly the point but that did not impress them. My new location was fine but the EPA had to first do an environmental impact study that held up construction until just yesterday!”
Suddenly the clouds cleared up and a beautiful rainbow crossed the celestial horizon. . “I’m calling you back.” God said.
“aren't you going to destroy the world Lord?" Noah asked.
“What’s the point?” God said. “It looks like someone beat m
kitty01 Forum Posts (5,310)
Black sheep of the Family
Does that mean you were worse than a sheep or that you will eat anything?