A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said,"Johnny, what are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him." Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy." Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."
One person should not try to change another. If you feel the need to change your S/O, then you probably shouldn't be in that relationship in the first place. When you try to change another person to suit your needs, that's when problems in the relationship begin, and it's headed for doom. IF any changes are to be made they need to come from within. The only one that can change you, is you.
What do you do when someone's in your face having a conversation with you and their breath stinks (this is not a joke, but it's funny I just wanna know what you do). Me personally I try to end the conversation as quickly as possible and sometimes I hold my breath or try to turn my head and hope someone calls me on my cellphone so I can take the call.
Scientists are to investigate whether eating chocolate can reduce the risk of heart disease in women with diabetes.
Volunteers - postmenopausal women with type 2 diabetes - will be asked to eat a bar of chocolate a day for a year.
Cocoa is rich in compounds called flavonoids, which are thought to benefit the heart.
The University of East Anglia is using a specially formulated form of chocolate which contains more flavonoids than usual.
A successful outcome of this research would hopefully mean being able to offer people at high risk better protection over and above that provided by conventional drugs
Dr Iain Frame Diabetes UK
This compensates for the fact that many flavonoids are destroyed in the process of turning cocoa into chocolate.
Soy - another source of flavonoids - has also been added to the special bars.
The scientists are testing the theory that adding flavonoids to the diet may give added protection against heart disease on top of that provided by prescription drugs.
Deaths due to heart disease among women increase rapidly after the menopause and having type 2 diabetes increases this risk by a further three-and-a-half times.
If the trial confirms the hypothesis then it could have a far-reaching impact on the advice given to at-risk women.
Additional protection
Lead researcher Professor Aedin Cassidy said: "Despite postmenopausal women being at a similar risk to men for developing cardiovascular disease, to date they are under-represented in clinical trials.
"We hope to show that adding flavonoids to their diets will provide additional protection from heart disease and give women the opportunity to take more control over reducing their risk of heart disease in the future."
The researchers aim to recruit 150 women under the age of 70 with type 2 diabetes who have not had a period for at least a year, and who have been taking cholesterol-lowering statin drugs for at least 12 months.
Dr Iain Frame, director of research at the charity Diabetes UK, said: "We certainly don't advise people to start eating a lot of chocolate as it is very high in sugar and fat.
"We would always recommend that people with diabetes eat a diet low in fat, salt and sugar with plenty of fruit and vegetables."
"However, there are compounds found in chocolate, called flavonoids, that are thought to provide some protection from heart disease.
"A successful outcome of this research would hopefully mean being able to offer people at high risk better protection over and above that provided by conventional drugs."
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