I don´t live in France but I can say some French words, watch this....bonjour, trois, pommes, je suis anglais. I´ld like to see you and your god do something better if you can, I doubt that you can!
I understand you, on land they´ld be hard to take care of but not in the sea. Just put a life jacket on said arm and legless person and maybe a fake shark fin too or an outboard motor. The list is endless really and the amount of fun to be had is there for all to see.
Free holiday to Warrington
OK you win