jbibiza Forum Posts (4,914)

RE: Is it worth trying to become a better person?

Yes... the most important person you can become a better person for is yourself.

PERIL... enter at your own risk!

PERIL... enter at your own risk!... sometimes I feel like that must be tattooed on my forehead!

The last time a man asked me out in RL has to be at least two years ago... Yes, I´ve had my share of flowers and emails on this site, but only two or three that could have been a possibility.

I have no problem meeting lots of guys and making lots of male friends. I can walk into any club on the island and have a couple of male friends immediatly walk up give me a kiss offer a drink and have a chat or a dance.

I have enough male friends that are record producers, DJ´s, security guys that I never pay to get into a club and am often offered VIP seating... I always get invited to the good parties and social functions, club openings, magazine gala´s, charity events etc.

I have 7 lovely guys coming to spend Christmas at my home... all friends. They are wonderful friends of all ages and are always there for me if I need a hand with something... of course the care packages I make up of brownies, chile con carne, etc. probably encourages that...

I love men... men have always enjoyed my company... So what the hell is going on???? What is it about me that I make lots of male friends but I´m not getting asked out???

Is it my age? Does carrying an extra 20 pounds really make that big a difference?

I am asking honestly... please do not be afraid to respond honestly, I will not be insulted and hate you. I need to know what I´m doing wrong!!!!

RE: would you ride on the rollercoaster with the one above you

As long as he doesn´t get sick on rollercoasters...

RE: should introvert parents be allowed to RAISE extrovert children yes or no ? wake up trish123 & dizzy

...and as a adults we shouldn´t NEED them, we should be independent of the need of a family, we maintain a relationship because we LOVE them and APPRECIATE that they took care of us and gave us a home, love, shelter, education, guidance... for at least 18 years.

The responsibility of a parent is to give a child a start in life, what we do with that after we become adults is up to each of us.

RE: Why do men run from a single parent?

If I had decided to have a LTR or to get married while raising my daughter... his role would not have been as a parent to my daughter. I would have encouraged them to develop a friendship, an "uncle" sort of role with her, but her upbringing and anything concerning her would have been my responsibility. If they had issues it would have been worked out through me. His role in the relationship would have been my husband or my boyfriend... not as my daughters father.

RE: New or old format ?

Simple fix for that... switch to firefox, it´s a much better browser anyway.

RE: why are these people not "taken" or in a" relationship"?

We can only be who we are... and really if you don´t like who you are then you´ve got nothing... although by the sounds of it, you may have something!!!

If they saw me out on a friday night/saturday morning with my friends... intelligent is not a word they would use....

RE: should introvert parents be allowed to RAISE extrovert children yes or no ? wake up trish123 & dizzy

Gilly... this is why I live on a little island off the coast of Spain and the rest of my family is still in California...(except my daughter who lives in Australia) I think very differently then the rest of my family does and to be honest I am a better person living away from them rather then close to them. Here I am free to be who I am and find encouragement from the friends that I choose.

This doesn´t mean I don´t love and respect my family... I just like who I am more when I don´t live near them.

Again... our parents can only be who they are and what they know... it´s very common for an artistic child to feel out of place and for the more "normal" parents to try to push them into more traditional roles and jobs...they see those as being secure and every parent wants to know that their children will be secure and provided for when they´re gone.

While life would be so much better if your family were more supportive of your choices in life, remember that what they do, they do out of love and what they know. You have the broader mind and can see life from more angles... so it´s up to you to understand them and realize they aren´t capable of seeing things from your perspective...It´s up to you to find that encouragement through teachers and friends... and when your family sees that you are truly happy and successful, maybe they will be a bit more supportive.

RE: whats happened to you in 2008.....

Well jobwise...I had a job I loved opening and running a beautiful Jazz bar and restaurant. Unfortunately the owner wound up to be a raging alcoholic and blew all the money, closed down in November and is having to sell the business...

On the bright side, I may be able to buy it with a partner...

In Feb. I thought I had met "the guy" on line... sadly it didn´t translate to real life, but I had a lovely weekend and made a new friend.

In May I flew back to California for my daughter´s engagement party, it was so good to see her and the rest of my family... I miss them everyday, but love the lifestyle and the person I am here.

In general it´s been a fun year with lots of time spent with friends, filled with laughter and love. I have no complaints.

RE: do you really,really miss someone alot.

Yes... I live in Spain, my daughter lives in Australia and the rest of my family live in California... there are so many people that I miss, but I feel fortunate to have so many people to miss.

RE: Do you feel that guys are just playing games with us women?

It´s definitely cowardly to just vanish without saying anything, but it´s hard to tell someone the reasons sometimes... it could be hurtful, I admit that I usually just start to say less and contact less and try to let it slide into a friend thing...rather then come right out and say I´m not interested...but if they´re persistent I will come out with it, but I always hope they´ll take the hint and not make me say it.

I know... I´m a coward.

RE: why are these people not "taken" or in a" relationship"?

I´m not going to start naming names... I would be here all night long! There are some really wonderful and amazing people here on CS... if I didn´t live so far away from most of them...male and female, I´d be making some personal visits!

RE: why are these people not "taken" or in a" relationship"?

Thank you sweetie... it´s always nice to have a younger man think I´m gorgeous (we cougars need our stroking as well)

Well I´ve been told recently that my "intellect" scares the crap out of men... Come on... I´m no friggin´ Einstein... Maybe if I go back to being blond and say "ummmmm" alot...

RE: why are these people not "taken" or in a" relationship"?

I´m glad the date went well sweetie!!! As much as I enjoy my time on CS... compared to real life, up close and personal... well there is no comparison!

RE: why are these people not "taken" or in a" relationship"?

I think she meant "sharp" as a butchers pencil...

hello doll!

RE: Do you feel that guys are just playing games with us women?

I think that possibly what some people call games... can just be getting to know another person and then deciding you don´t want to pursue it any further.

I often see people post that they had some great emails and shared information and thought it was all going great... when it stopped and the person pulled away from them... and then say the person was playing with them.

What you have to realize is that a relationship is a two way street and just because you are feeling the magic doesn´t mean they are feeling the same. I´ve often started talking to guys through email and then on to phone conversations and while it started out great... it either started to fizzle or I observed comments and remarks that made me think they weren´t the person for me and brought it to an end.

I don´t think I was playing any games...I had enough of an interest to pursue it to conversation, and had they lived closer probably would have met up for a coffee... I was getting to know them and the more I got to know them, the less I was interested...because they remained interested doesn´t mean that I am playing a game because I chose not to let it go any further.

RE: should introvert parents be allowed to RAISE extrovert children yes or no ? wake up trish123 & dizzy

Hi Gilly... There always seems to be a "cool" auntie or uncle in every family, but those cool aunts or uncles never seem to have that same relationship with their own children...I´m not sure why that is?

I love and have the deepest respect for my parents...they gave me a good grounding in life and instilled some very good morals. We all have to realize that parents are human and prone to mistakes just like the rest of us. It took me until I was 40 years old to realize that because I didn´t agree with something my parents said or felt, it didn´t make me wrong!

I was lucky that when I turned 14 we moved to a different community and I was able to start over being who I chose to be and fighting against my natural shyness. I still have that shy girl inside of me, and most people who meet me would not believe that I still struggle sometimes in social situations and really have to push myself.

As we become adults, regardless of our upbringing, we have a choice as to how we chose to behave and what type of life we chose to live.

RE: whos taken and who is not taken

I´ve been "had" a few times... does that count???

RE: should introvert parents be allowed to RAISE extrovert children yes or no ? wake up trish123 & dizzy

Both of my parents are a bit on the reserved side...and we were immigrants in a foriegn country... we had a tendency to socialize more with family members more so then with Americans. There was only one American family that we used to socialize with, other then that it was all aunts, uncles and a cousins.

We were also raised with some pretty old fashioned standards of speak when you´re spoken to... if you don´t have something nice to say, don´t say anything. I also wore glasses and my parents made me wear dresses to school when all the other kids were wearing jeans... so it made it a bit difficult to fit in with other kids that were being raised in a much different manner.

RE: The Good Morning Hot Croissant Thread

I´ll have to remember that... I´m off to meet some friends for Sunday Lunch, I´ll talk to you later!

RE: Why do men run from a single parent?

I made it very clear to any man that I dated while raising my daughter that my daughter came first, then my business, then them...and that I was available only for dating, not for a long term relationship... even though I said it in very clear terms... it wasn´t long before they were complaining that I didn´t spend enough time with them or had to cancel a date because an employee called in sick and I had to cover the shift...

RE: The Good Morning Hot Croissant Thread

If I had known that was all it took....

RE: Why do men run from a single parent?

I don´t necessarily agree with the "breadwinner" stuff... but as far as being protective... yes, I´ll agree with that completely. I had very clear ideas of how and when my daughter would be disciplined and I would have had a huge problem with anyone interfering with that, or using a method of discipling that I didn´t agree with. Another reason I chose to stay single while raising her.

RE: should introvert parents be allowed to RAISE extrovert children yes or no ? wake up trish123 & dizzy

Ok, the question may have been worded a bit strange... but I think it´s an interesting topic. I was really shy as a child and went through hell because of it... kids can be really cruel and don´t recognize shyness, instead they think you´re stuck up. I can remember hiding in the bathrooms at recess time because I was afraid that other kids wouldn´t ask me to play.

I never wanted my daughter to go through the same experiences and she was naturally introverted... I bribed, coerced, paid... basically did what ever it took to get her to try new things, talk to people etc. She´s still not what you would call an extrovert, but she never went through the hell of being painfully shy.

Had she been raised by an extrovert they might not have gone to the efforts that I did to help her overcome her shyness.

RE: The Good Morning Hot Croissant Thread

Lago, he´s the only male I´ve met lately who loves me unconditionally... as long as I fill his dog bowl twice a day!

RE: The Good Morning Hot Croissant Thread

Hey, I´m sharing space and having to consider another... that´s a big step for me! We just got back from a lovely walk on the beach...It is amazing today!!!

RE: Equal Rights

It´s funny... all we´ve had the past couple of weeks is guys complaining that we don´t like romance, that we´re to independent, that we´re not subservient enough... and now this, the complete opposite! You need to introduce the women that you are meeting to these other guys and have them introduce the women they´re meeting to you!

Ladies, it seems like nothing we do or are is right! That´s why I´ll just keep being who I am... who knows, maybe there is a man out there that that is enough for.

RE: What does it mean, if a men tells you 'he likes you as his wife, but he doesn't love you' ?

You´re right... they are my two best friends... and it´s funny because everyone thinks that one of them and I are a perfect match for each other... there was a customer that I got really chatty with during the summer, a lovely woman from Denmark... when she left the restaurant she wound up in my friends bar, where she in turn got really chatty with him. Upon finding out that he was single she said, "I have just met the most perfect woman for you..." yes, she was talking about me...

I´m dogsitting his lovely black lab until after the New Year, I love him to bits but could never imagine making love to him! As far as jealousy goes... my SO would have to understand that friendship means just that to me, and I would hope that they would become friends as well... I have no tolerance for jealousy!

RE: What do women find most irresistable in a man?

Because often they are said inappropriately... those things are great after you have reached the point of being in love... to say such things in the getting to know you stages will send me running in the opposite direction very quickly!

RE: Why do men run from a single parent?

I can´t tell you how much I agree with this statement!!!!! I made the decision that I wouldn´t have a serious relationship while I was raising my daughter... not a choice I would expect from others but one I felt comfortable with.

Since my daughters dad wasn´t a part of her life after the divorce I was really fortunate to have a family that realized I needed some time on my own for a "grown up life" and my parents, brothers and sisters used to take turns having my daughter a couple of weekends a month.

I dated, but my daughter was never exposed to that aspect of my life, or the men that were a part of it. I remember going out with a man who brought his child on our first date...I could only imagine what this poor kid would go through, being exposed to date after date, getting attached and then losing that person... some people just don´t think about what they put their kids through!