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Sommerauer71Sommerauer71 Forum Posts (19,249)

Mothers apart from their children.

You just summed up my thread in a few paragraphs, SND...

I'll do a more detailed response later.

Good morning from Europe...

RE: Would you leave your love for your children?

I've no bloody idea...

I thought MF might let me know one of these days...

If I am made Queen, then you will not be my King, simply because I do not fancy the wrath of GG...

Has to be done, tips on being a Mother in Law..

When we meet, in Italy, with Summer, should we not wear shoes?

RE: If you're not beautiful, you don't get a job!

That's unusual for you Cris, to go off topic on your own thread!

Sorry, that was for Ven...


Has to be done, tips on being a Mother in Law..

Ginger is just wonderul.

Hi Ven.

How tall are you?

I am 5'6"

Has to be done, tips on being a Mother in Law..

You just knew, didn't you?


Hello Mike...

I could have written the same, but Dr Who has written some stuff that has made me rethink...

I cannot put this down to inexperience, I find his posts completely open, fascinating almost tinged with sadness that he has never experienced intimacy as you, I and many others have...

But more than anything that touches me, is his clear honesty.

There are no lies, there is little that he shys away from, he has handled the jibes, the ridicule, indeed this thread title suggests that it is somewhat geared toward him. I could be wrong, barking up the wrong tree, but an experienced man does not have the crown of being able to satisfy a woman...

I see it like this, a virgin of 40 could probably instill much more attention on a woman than say a man who has had 40 women, because he is concentrating on one, as opposed to hanging off his own shirt sleeve that he has shagged 40 women???

When I was in Sweden, I met a British man who banged on for hours about the women he had bedded, it did nothing for me, in fact it made me bare my teeth in an unpleasant way.

Do you see where I am coming from?


No, just an ability to be more than one dimensional...



How wonderful.

I know, imagine, that a 40 year old virgin has the ability to love...

RE: I like YOU but I you just do not do it for me physically...


Omit being brutal, be kind and honest.

Be kind and honest. Don't use whatever issues you have to deliver them to her and use them as an excuse for you not finding her intimately attractive.

Tell her, you want to cut contact. If she persists then block her or change your email address.

It's an old, used line. Intelligent women do not buy that line.


Horrible thing to carry around on your shoulders, have done it...

Shelve the guilt, like heavy shopping bags...

Put it away, one by one, empty the bags and release yourelf...

I stayed with a person for longer than necessary because of feeling guilty.

It is not pretty or pleasant.

RE: Would you leave your love for your children?

As I said, enjoy your evening...


RE: Would you leave your love for your children?

As I said, enjoy your evening...


RE: Would you leave your love for your children?

Mindful, you are so beautifully eloquent in your words...

Have a great evening, Sweetheart...

RE: Would you leave your love for your children?

Beautiful, Pat.

RE: Would you leave your love for your children?

Ah, the blessings of understandings and kindness.


Actually dannatella, I do believe that you may be referring to our friend whoingeneva???

I could be wrong.

He may be a virgin, but at least one would not have to worry about STD'S, previous s*xual conquests and a man who is out for all he can get.

Sie verstehen, wo ich aus?

RE: Is the primary purpose of couples to breed?

The things you think of...

And thank the blue skies that you do.

I was swimming this afternoon and was thinking about the other thread, so I can say I am damn pleased that you have started this one... It makes me think of Captain and how he would have loved a child, something I cannot give him, but I have some he can share and plough some love into which he does... As they do him, he started this daft blog for the kids to add to and they do and often they say 'he has not written on the blog, tell him to write some stuff for us' and he makes them feel important, loved, gives them attention, makes them laugh with his zany humour, he takes that time out, from me to give that to them.

I come back to Rodders profound post, because it is something that I believe in, that we show our children through our behaviours how we love, if we cannot love as adults, how the hell are they to have happy, fulfilled balanced relationships? If we just walk away? With the view that, 'another partner will be along, but you kids will always be here'

Then I think of my father, who gave me enough love for a mother as well as a father, he had to make a choice, he had to put his children first as they were neglected, which we were at that time.

But that was not because he was choosing his children over their mother, it was because he wanted to remove the burden so that she had a shot at becoming well so that she could be a mother.

And to me, that is what makes also a special man, he took his children to take care of them, so that their mother, his wife could have a chance at being a mum, I say that is pretty big love going on there... Even if she could not become that mother.

RE: Is the primary purpose of couples to breed?

You next.

Actually, when my son was born, my ex husband said he saw me in a different way. He was very involved with our son, at the tender age of 20, right from the word go. But to come back to his words, when my eldest was ten days old, I asked him how he was feeling and he said he loved me much more as a mother than he did as the single girl he had met.

He went on to say, that he found me fascinating when I was pregnant, the curves, (I was a skinny miss) the way I looked softer and that I was much nicer to him and made him feel more important to him, because I was carrying his child. Did I feel second place? No. My heart lurched with love, because then I knew that this was the right move for us, even though he was unplanned and it made me see my husband in a different light. Our son blended into our lives and my husband remained uppermost in that unit of the three of us...

Their needs were different, my son needed his mother and when that time was done, my husband needed his wife, when he was out working (do remember this is all prior to the spectacular end of our marriage) to provide for his wife and his child, our son did not move up in his love ranks, the whole unit became something that he knew he had to work for to keep us healthy, warm and a roof over our heads.

I gave him what ultimately made me forgive him, his children and in that, now 21 years later with his new partner and his new child, he has never forgotten that I gave him his hearts desire and that was his children and that in his mind makes me still, even though we are divorced and our daughter gets married next year, up there as a person that he loves very much indeed.

RE: Is the primary purpose of couples to breed?


Is spectacular!

RE: Is the primary purpose of couples to breed?

This is a better way of looking at things Ambrose... I'll read this with interest.

RE: When someone is going to commit suicide......


Is all I can say...

RE: Would you leave your love for your children?

Indeed, with you in the starring role.

I think you would be excellent.

RE: Would you leave your love for your children?

No there is isn't, at all Tain.

Any right or wrong answer...

I don't think anywhere that I have suggested that any answer is wrong.

Hard to put into words what one feels for our children, I know I cannot manage it, words are never enough.

And often, I have to repeat myself in these debates, to say this is I. How I see it and I see it as this, no parent who is devoid of any intelligence or love for their children would ever walk away for any partner, no parent.

And if one is in a committed relationship, then they will do what they can to keep all happy.

Pat asked a valid question, I answered him.

We could take this further, what I sacrificed for my children, I would never type here, because I see that people would never be able to handle it, so to be blunt, I do see that people just answer the question and that is it, a simple no.

But I will not, for the simple reason as Ambrose stated which I agree with, CS is not the place to be asking and discussing such a question.

People have and often do only see the parts of a discussion that outrage them, that makes their hair stand on ends, this is clear from Col's response.

And my children, as I was, have been raised to understand love and love is not about sacrifice, as I see it, love is about being a part of something where every person feels loved and is not placed in second place for any person.

In layman's language, there is room in my heart for all...

RE: Would you leave your love for your children?

You have completely misread my words. Chopped the post in half.

I think you missed the part where I said, oh never mind, Col.

You made your mind up yesterday on this matter, attacking, calling names.

You are seeing what you want to see...

Which is just fine.

Has to be done, tips on being a Mother in Law..


No, it is my daughter, you silly sod. I am regaling in my role as MIL and MOTB.

You do realise how serious this is?

RE: Would you leave your love for your children?

Hi Pat

It's soceity, how we look, no person in their right mind would admit to walking away from their children and this is where Ambrose and Joanne, along with myself are coming from, we have peeled back the layers, looked at it and granted it may be easier for us to say because we are in relationships, committed ones, so we can see it deeper. Because we have the children and the love so we can negotiate our way through the question, as you can see it too.

I am trying to be diplomatic here and say that in no way means that any single person is wrong for choosing their children, because the question is so ambiguous and it is seen as it is written. Or that they cannot feel. Had I been single, my feelings would be the same.

Like you have written, that no person would put you second, you would not want that and no person in any relationship should be second, no person has to be first, there is room for all, there should be no choices, but of course some people will make and force those choices and when they do, then of course it is going to be your children.

No partner wants to be made to feel second best, they don't deserve to be, they want to be loved and craved and adored and rightly so.

As i said back earlier, my dad had to make a choice, for the safety of his two children, because of illness and if my man said to me, 'me or your kids?' then I would not be choosing the children, I would be walking. There is about much chance of him coming up with a ridiculous ultimatum like that as the sky stopping raining... So I understand agree with your post entirely and if children have a problem with a partner, then it is up to the mother to find out why, what is going on and take it from there.

RE: Sex with a prositute

You can, remember, and I don't agree with it, that you could be arrested for kerb crawling and the person can be arrested for soliciting.

I am for legalisation of prostitution.

RE: Sex with a prositute

Jack, listen to me.

I know you are not a bad person and I know that your English can come across as though you are being blase about rape, but try to remember that it is a crime and people here have suffered that, so they will not take kindly to the subject being treated as a way to receive s*xual gratification.

If you want to discuss rape, then you have to really, really choose your words very carefully. I mean very carefully or else you will orchestrate a public flogging for yourself.

Prostitution is a topic that is also a heated one, it is illegal in the UK, I think it should be legalised like it is here in Austria, but it does happen and you need to understand that prostitution is the soliciting of sex for financial gain.

Before you blindly step in, and I know what it is like in a different language, I am a foreigner, but you really have the tools to check your words, and try to get yur point across in a better way. Write it in your native language and then translate it, because trying to get feelings out in a foreign language is not always the best way, in your native tongue you can express yourself better and then the translation can be tweaked to suit your feelings.

I am going to put this down to a language barrier.

RE: Sex with a prositute

Hum, it's becoming a bit disturbing in here, Bro.

RE: Sex with a prositute

I missed that quote, Rodders, had I seen it, then I would have picked up on it.

I see rape being discussed here like it is amusing.

I just cannot shake that feeling.

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