Just as an addendum to my own musings and not addressing any person in particular, I do often get the impression that people feel that forgiveness is something that happens and all is okay.
No, forgiveness is an ongoing prcess that tools me to be able to deal with betrayal, it also helps me to look at the situation and understand my own part in the breakdown of the marriage.
So as part of healing, repairing oneself, which takes a helluva long time, forgiveness runs concurrently alongside all the other parts of recovering from the trauma of a breakdown.
I have never forgiven any person because it is the thing to do.
I forgave him five years down the line, when we finally came out of court, I was in another relationship and letting go of all that anger and hurt that I was taking out on my then second partnership, was gone.
And it was not that a wave of forgiveness came over me, it was the whole part of recovering, being able to move on and not drag the cross behind me for everyone else to fall over...
My letting go of all the pain was something that made it easier for my children, it was about my whole recovery that took me five long years and the wounds are cleansed, dressed and healed.
I never want to go through that pain again, but who is say that I will not, nobody knows what will happen, we cannot be with people and say that they must stay with us forever and never be unfaithful, we can say what we want from them, what we expect, but ultimately is down to them to make that choice... But I have a few more emotional tools on board now to be able to handle it differently than I did all those years ago.
I cannot attache caveats to a person in that way, all I can do is what I feel is right for me, in what I offer in a relationship and what I expect.
They refuse to join the Euro. Very precious about their pound sterling...
I cannot really explain that one, abbiye, I think stingyness is more of a personal thing than a cultural one. Not to mention the country is very expensive.
Actually, I would love to be a housewife, I have never been one, had to work.
I am no feminist, a man should be a man...
And a woman should be a woman and pout, file her nails, clean her diamonds and count her shoes, that role is made for me, the little Princess that I am...
My landlord has put a tennis ball on a string hanging from the ceiling in my garage so when the ball hits the back windscreen, I know the front end is in!
Cor, talk about putting the cat amongst the pidgeons...
I am spoilt, very.
But I never expect the same pay as any person... I get paid what my boss tells me and that is it... If I don't like it, there are plenty of folks about who would.
Sommerauer71 Forum Posts (12,414)
RE: CAN YOU FORGIVE YOUR BELVOED'S BETREYAL ?
Just as an addendum to my own musings and not addressing any person in particular, I do often get the impression that people feel that forgiveness is something that happens and all is okay.No, forgiveness is an ongoing prcess that tools me to be able to deal with betrayal, it also helps me to look at the situation and understand my own part in the breakdown of the marriage.
So as part of healing, repairing oneself, which takes a helluva long time, forgiveness runs concurrently alongside all the other parts of recovering from the trauma of a breakdown.
That is how I see it.