When I moved to Austria, I vowed I would not be in a relationship where the man did not come home at 6pm every night.
I limited myself very badly in that. I was never going to find a person who would just slot into my life and live my life concurrently alongside his slotting in.
Somebody who was desperate for love, may find that an easy way to get into your life though...
I had to smile at the highlighted statement. Because I often wonder about people too, just you know, when you wake up in the middle of the night and you think, 'I wonder what is happening in their mind' Or when I am in a traffic jam. In the bath, anywhere. People for thousands of years have tried to work it out and I am sure we will still be trying for many thousands of years.
I think it is absolutely fine to be picky, I think online dating affords us that, we can write down what we want, and that seems to brainwash into thinking that is what we want. I know my 'what are you looking' read like a shopping list. 'Must be a golfer' Must not bite his nails, must be tall, groomed and have some self control, but in all honesty, Daisy, it can never be like that can it? What we write in words and who blows our skirt up, are often two different things. I ended with up a football loving, tall man, who has never played golf, yet would be excellent at if he played.
So many people state they are too busy with careers for a relationship, and some are, this is no reflection on any person that is, but I do sometimes think, when a person makes us stop and sit up, and we think 'I like this' we will always find room. I equate that to when I was pregnant with my second child, at a young tener age, I often used to think, how will I love this child as much as the first one, how will I fit him/her into my life, I managed it, I found the room. So I do think I do.
I found it hard to connect with any man here on a romantic basis, not because of any particular reason, I think it was more where I was at.
What an interesing thread. Oh the reasons why people are here. One topic where many people think they know why other people are here.
I cannot speak for me. But I can tell you why I came here. I came on the recommendation of a friend, when another forum closed down that was a relationships forum and at that time I was going through a rather spectacular break up. I joined here, in what was a fragile state. I posted once, then I never returned for six months to the forums, as I could not face it and was in all honesty seeking the safety of my old forum. I came back again around 18 months ago. To the forums and I never used it as a dating site, I used it as a way of filling time, my children had left home, and the long winters in Austria, made it a place to come and chat and get to know people. I was never here for dating, even though I had a profile completed and the dreaded 'What you are looking for# filled in. I would become frustrated at people over IM who I could not have a conversation with and set my IM to switched off. Then I began writing in the forums, firstly over in the EU then I had a browse in these ones and I liked them.
Being in a school myself, I find the adult interaction is good for me, especially as I do live alone, I am only here for the forums. I have not made so many friends, because I don't want a huge long list of online friends, I have the ones that know me personally and we meet who are also members here, and a couple that I chat to outside of here.
I did not use this site as a sole avenue for meeting a person. I did in the end, meet a person from here and we are in a happy, stable relationship.
I do not even begin to speculate why other people are here, but it will be interesting to see why people really are here.... I know from other threads that people have written why they are here, but I like it when people write about themselves. So it will be interesting.
In the eyes of UK family law, if there is a residency dispute, which of course there usually is if it has gone to court, only a dispute if it has gone to court. A dispute over access, a dispute over residency, then the parent has no right over the child. In that a child with a good understanding, can state which parent they want to live with, and refuse to see another parent, and the courts will do nothing about it, which in essence makes a mockery of the term 'Family Law'
All children have a right to loving parents, yet if a child is alienated from one parent by a bitter parent then the child's account will be listened to over and above the parent, usually the one fighting for access or residency.
Automatic residency of a child should never be assumed, all parents have to apply for residency (formerly called custody) so if a father wants to have more contact and the mother is refusing that contact, then he can apply for residency.
Why I stepped out of the court system, and I was in it for five long years in the UK. Messy, it messed up me, my children and in the end the father and I made an agreement ourselves.
So it really is stacked against the father. The UK family law is against any case that is difficult. They slip through the net and the children are awarded to any parent that has the status quo.
Firstly, welcome to CS. Secondlt Chris has written it all well about moving to any country. And although you are painting with a wde brush, it is easy to culturise, as I did when I moved to Austria, the Austrians are very stoic and show very little emotion, sense of humour is what gets under their skin and they like humour. I learned this quicly when I went to find my car one morning and my landlady's father had hidden my car.
Find your surrounding people's vulnerable spot, we all have one, pick at it like a scab, and you'll crack it.
From my experience of the Dutch and I have worked with some, they are beilliant at languages, why many global's like the Dutch to work for them and they too enjoy humour.
We'll get Rodders onto you, he is Dutch and is a hoot, he'll help you out...
In the meantime, have some fun here, we are REALLY friendly.
Hello W, I'm off to watch a movie and snuggle up... Friday night, batten down the hatches, shut the world out, duvet, ice cream, man is watching a 'cartoon' which he calls a movie... Had a nice day?
I do it for colour as living in a cold country, with lots of snow, the warmth of the sun makes me feel better and the colour of course makes me look healthy. I do always use sunscreen and my recent trip to the sunshine state, I was sunning myself there, for 1-2 hours per day, in one hour incremental periods. An hour in the morning and one in the evening...
Ambrose, you have just been made redundant...
I too, monkeys can spot bad grammar.
Good reading for those interested in languages.