He was an educated, intelligent, capable and (at least for me) attractive man. Nothing wrong with him, no 'mom's boy' or anything similar. I thought that he had had relationships previously and if I'd known the truth, I wouldn't have got myself emotionally involved. I was very shocked when he told me the truth and I suppose - i should have felt flattered - but instead all I felt was - a lot of pressure. Even if I stretched myself and did impossible to satisfy all his ideals - I couldn't. And, it made me completely dissatisfied at the same time, because I also had expectations, he didn't fulfill. I tried to talk to him, but it was difficult. I think that my 'complaining' was just a proof for him that - after all - I wasn't that ideal woman he was looking for (although I told him that I was an average and ordinary person from the start). It made me even more unhappy, because it started affecting my self-esteem very badly. In any other situation - I would have probably left immediately - but I really liked him and I saw many qualities in him and - thought he was worth the effort. But, I couldn't go on for a long time and - in the end - I had to leave. I think it was the right choice after all... Although, I'm still a little sad and somehow feel as if I 'failed'.
chris27292729, yes, the right word was 'frustrated'
Yes, it's similar here, too, but this man was different - educated and intelligent...
That's true... I was also shocked. And - I still think that the main reason lies in very high expectations... At least I felt like being compared to some ideal all the time...
No experience at all - being in love, even kissing someone.
I'm asking this because I met such a person a few months ago. And he was a great person - but it didn't work out due to unrealistic expectations. I couldn't compete with his ideals about love and I constantly wanted him to behave the way I know someone experienced would. I still feel bad because of my own expectations, however...
Would you date a person who has never had any love experience? And - I don't mean - dating a young person, but someone who is around your age, but has never had a relationship? Would that bother you? Or would you find it interesting? Fun? Challenging? Maybe tiresome? Or annoying? Or - perhaps - you wouldn't mind at all?
Did you have that kind of experience and did it work out?
I had many books - some of them 70-80 years old inherited from my grandparents - and I donated most of them to the local library. I did throw away some that were in very bad shape and the library didn't want them.
I still have plenty of books and I might donate more. I would probably never read most of them again anyway, while somebody else might enjoy them.
The distance doesn't have to be the problem. It depends... Some people, for example, work from home and don't have children they need to take care of - so they can easily relocate.
It depends on what they actually want and how serious they are about it.
Some people want nothing more but a casual long-distance relationship, while others are much more serious in searching for a life (marriage) partner. Those things are to be discussed long before they meet for the first time. :)
I think that if people are mature and honest - they can avoid many problems and misunderstandings with those they meet online.
If they come to the 'feelings involved' stage - I think that both people wouldn't want to continue talking to others anyway. :)
It's not easy to find someone online you can really like. You can meet many interesting people to chat with, but that's not the same. Once you get to know someone and you 'connect' - you should appreciate and cherish it - unless there are some obstacles for you to be together in reality, of course. :)
My knowledge about astrology is very limited, but the astrologists generally think that someone's natal chart is much more important than just a Sun sign. If you want to get some general knowledge about someone, you should look at their Sun sign, Ascendant and Moon sign, although other planets, houses, aspects, etc. can dramatically affect their personality, as well.
I've never relied too much on astrology (I'm Aquarius, Scorpio Ascendant and Capricorn Moon), but I noticed some very interesting coincidences in my life. I often attract fire signs, but Aries - although interesting and fun to be with - isn't a good match for me in a long run. Then, I also rather often attract Taurus and sometimes Capricorn. Other men usually appear in my life as friends only. Even here - whenever I get a message and look at someone's sign - 2/3 of men are either Aries or Taurus! Then - some Leo, Sagittarius, Capricorn - rarely anyone else.
I rarely met Scorpio men in my life, even as friends, but two I met were unforgettable! They had such an extraordinary effect on me (and me on them) that I even searched about Aquarius-Scorpio combination online and found some very interesting experiences from people in that romantic combination, that were very similar to mine. Unfortunately, relationships with those two Scorpios couldn't develop due to some other things (distance, etc.), but I think that I would really like to meet a Scorpio man (similar to those previous two - intelligent and intense) one more time. :)
Aquarius is 'everyone's friend', so - in friendships - I can get along with anyone. :)
I think that people should start like friends with some interesting conversation and low expectations. :) If something more develops - great, if not - you met another person and heard an interesting story about someone's life. :)
Scammers, fake profiles, men who are not serious and are looking for something casual only - usually don't have enough patience to get to know someone. They are fast and aggressive or their messages are short and rather meaningless. If someone puts an effort in writing and is nice and polite - that person deserves a chance. :)
I wanted to open a similar thread myself, but decided to write on yours instead. :) I hope you don't mind. :)
I was a member here 7-8 years ago. I don't remember many people from that period of time (I can't even remember my old nickname). The only one I recognized is ali110, because he didn't change his profile photo all these years. :D
I see that a lot has changed... There are people whose profiles I cannot see, for example truheart1941 - I can see only the nickname and town & country, but nothing else. I cannot even click on his profile. It probably has something to do with settings... I also received messages from members I couldn't reply to and whose profiles I couldn't open. I don't remember it was like that, but it might be that I can't remember well. :D
Otherwise, I see that there are many fake profiles on the site, much more than in the past, but that's the case everywhere on the internet nowadays, not only on free dating sites, I guess.
Anyway, I hope the discussion boards are a lot of fun as they used to be. :) It's good to be back. ;)
Maya74 Forum Posts (170)
The lack of experience
Yes, you understood me correctly. :)He was an educated, intelligent, capable and (at least for me) attractive man. Nothing wrong with him, no 'mom's boy' or anything similar. I thought that he had had relationships previously and if I'd known the truth, I wouldn't have got myself emotionally involved. I was very shocked when he told me the truth and I suppose - i should have felt flattered - but instead all I felt was - a lot of pressure. Even if I stretched myself and did impossible to satisfy all his ideals - I couldn't. And, it made me completely dissatisfied at the same time, because I also had expectations, he didn't fulfill. I tried to talk to him, but it was difficult. I think that my 'complaining' was just a proof for him that - after all - I wasn't that ideal woman he was looking for (although I told him that I was an average and ordinary person from the start). It made me even more unhappy, because it started affecting my self-esteem very badly. In any other situation - I would have probably left immediately - but I really liked him and I saw many qualities in him and - thought he was worth the effort. But, I couldn't go on for a long time and - in the end - I had to leave. I think it was the right choice after all... Although, I'm still a little sad and somehow feel as if I 'failed'.
chris27292729, yes, the right word was 'frustrated'