Callistee Forum Posts (60)

RE: What ya got on the go.....SAY ANYTHING

I reactivated this profile just to write the last comment on one thread that disturbed me enormously - and - in these 5 minutes I got several messages from fake profiles/scammers! Do these people ever sleep, eat, do anything else but sit here and send random messages trying to scam someone?!

I'm going on a deserved break now.

Stay well and take care.

RE: You know you don't belong on the forums..

When being on the forums starts to disturb you.

RE: Did your ex ever start arguments for no apparent reason?

You've already forgotten that you told me that you wished your brother married someone like me?

This was a very educational experience for me. I see where we are going with these 'Western European values' - individualism, self-sufficiency, distancing from family, hate and animosity between men and women, women trying to be bigger men than men, men so bitter and full of hate that they cannot even see when someone has good intentions toward them...

A very educational experience, indeed.

RE: Did your ex ever start arguments for no apparent reason?

I sometimes forget that I culturally don't belong here.

Problems that people deal here with are the problems of the Western world (USA, Western Europe) and the opinions they express are again - some mainstream thinking of the Western world and that's still rather far from where I live and - especially far from the country where I spent some time in and that affected me a lot.

I definitely don't belong to some discussions.

But it's good to know how people think in other cultures.

RE: Did your ex ever start arguments for no apparent reason?

Thanks.

This is not the place for me, you were right from the start.

But, neither are the blogs. You were right, there, too.

So what should I do, but leave?

Or do what you do - just write nonsense and have fun?

RE: Did your ex ever start arguments for no apparent reason?

Leaving this thread and all similar!

RE: Did your ex ever start arguments for no apparent reason?

My post was simply a possible explanation of Lee's ex's behaviour that I noticed among many women. I thought he might find it useful.

RE: Facebook

True, true...

And - it's not only that Facebook is addictive. People expect that you like (and sometimes comment) their photos and statuses regularly. If you don't - they are disappointed or insulted. Some want to chat day and night. No matter when I would come online - there would be someone sending me messages. And - often just some chit-chat - nonsense - exchanging gifs and stickers. I just couldn't go on like that...

RE: What ya got on the go.....SAY ANYTHING

People seem normal and interesting on forums/blogs and then they write to you some weird and/or incomprehensible messages and I started to wonder - maybe several people share the same profile? Maybe it's safer not to reply to private messages at all...

RE: Facebook

Some people from the past had got so annoying on Facebook lately that they made my decision much easier.

I post only the photos of my 'artwork' on Instagram and check it once a day. It's not annoying, because I mostly follow people who are interested in arts, crafts, photography, cats - so it's relaxing.

RE: Facebook

I feel much better now and my phone is much happier.

I have Instagram and Whatsapp and that's enough for communication.

RE: What ya got on the go.....SAY ANYTHING

I'm starting to get scared of some people here...

RE: Did your ex ever start arguments for no apparent reason?

This might be generalizing, but things usually go this way:

A woman doesn't get enough attention from a man and starts to feel insecure. She thinks that he doesn't love her any more. So, at first, she tries many different indirect approaches to get that attention (actually assurance that the man still loves her). When that doesn't work, a woman tries to talk to a man. But, men often don't find the same things important. They don't understand how insecure the woman feels and her need to be constantly reassured in man's love is sometimes annoying or boring for men. So, the woman still doesn't get what she needs to feel loved and starts panicking. And then comes the drama - something strong that will provoke the desirable reaction in a man and make her feel safe again. Instead, men often get even more annoyed and make a woman feel even more insecure. And not only that - but attack her and accuse her of being a 'drama queen'. This makes things even worse.

This all can be avoided if men would understand that 'attention' means reassurance and feeling safe and secure for a woman. If they give a woman that required attention - no matter how small - but regular - all dramas could be avoided.

I know - it would be easier for men that women behave like men and not like women - and there are such women - but they are still rare. I don't think that this is some kind of 'weakness' - it's simply the way many women feel naturally and changing them (if that is even possible) would mean turning them into men. And then - men would date men who only look like women?

RE: Did your ex ever start arguments for no apparent reason?

What an interesting story!

Where in Dalmatia are you from? I have a very good friend in Split. We've been friends for 30 years now.

RE: Facebook

I deleted my profile there a few days ago.

I decided to say goodbye to the past.

RE: What ya got on the go.....SAY ANYTHING

CS sometimes looks like a funny crazy place and sometimes like a scary crazy place.

RE: Did your ex ever start arguments for no apparent reason?

RE: Did your ex ever start arguments for no apparent reason?

That's true. There are men who like to play games and manipulate.



This is different. In some societies vague expression, indirect hints, etc. are expected both from men and women. It is simply considered more polite, while directness, open expression, honest conversation, etc. are considered to be rude and too aggressive. It continues in relationships and marriages, as well.

It's funny actually how many things we accept as ordinary and 'normal', that are actually only the result of our own cultural background...

And there are so many confusing things in communication between men and women... Too bad that OP always blames women for everything, otherwise he starts interesting threads and it would be fun to talk much more about them in some more friendly atmosphere.

RE: What Phrases, Terms or Words Irritate You ?

Rice pudding

(only lately)

I don't know why...

RE: Did your ex ever start arguments for no apparent reason?

There are societies where that is actually valued and expected.

After learning to be direct and open in expressing myself with our Western men, I went to Japan, where I had to unlearn everything and 'get back' into 'mind reading', 'vague expressing', 'indirectness', 'pretending' - with men as well as women. It was so difficult! It still is - I have to jump from one into another depending on who I speak to.

RE: Compliment vs Harrasment

Whose truth? We all have opinions and impressions. They don't need to be 'truths'. Even if they are - who are we to 'enlighten' other people about them, if they didn't ask for it? I believe that all adult people are smart enough to know themselves well enough and they don't need us to point out their weak sides and make them feel even more miserable. Even if they ask for our opinion, we should be kind to them.

I agree with Deedee - we live in societies where people constantly criticize others and very easily throw their 'truths' on each other, regardless how this makes other people feel. We don't need to flatter, but we can always find something good in anyone and compliment them - only if we want to.

RE: Compliment vs Harrasment

I think that a harassment is something very serious - constant verbal bullying and insulting.

'You look nice today' is a compliment.

'Hey baby, can I stuff your holes full?' is a rude stupid joke.

Compliments are nice and I cannot understand how someone can be against them or think that they mean something more than just - people being nice and polite? I think that we should all compliment each other (both men and women) much more. It's an effort to see something good in someone and it can really make a difference.

RE: Love Songs

RE: Share What You Are Listening To -- Part XX

RE: Did your ex ever start arguments for no apparent reason?

I came across some of your old threads (when you used another profile) and some are very funny. You have a good sense of humour. It would be nice to read more of those and less of these 'women are to blame for everything' threads.

RE: Did your ex ever start arguments for no apparent reason?

Good communication means listening (or reading) EVERYTHING the other person said (or wrote) - not only what suits us and supports our point of view.

RE: Did your ex ever start arguments for no apparent reason?

The number of divorces is increasing everywhere nowadays, even in societies where men value indirectness and vague expression. I think that there are many reasons and many factors that cause it.

RE: Knowing the difference between a real and fake profile and the problems genuine people face.

I feel comfortable to reply only to people I know from forums and blogs. Scammers are easy to notice and they reveal themselves fast, but there are too many people who simply - lie. There are many people who speak English perfectly, for example, but tell some imaginary life stories. You simply 'feel' there's something wrong with their profile, their story, although everything 'seems right'. It's hard to explain, but I'm very scared of those...

I think that there's no way to absolutely prove that people are honest. Even if you speak with them on the phone or have a video chat - you still cannot be 100% sure that everything they said about themselves is true. Sometimes you just have to take 'a leap of faith', I guess.

RE: Did your ex ever start arguments for no apparent reason?

Maybe she still cares for you.

Many women have problems expressing themselves directly. It's partly due to the way women are taught to be (nice, quiet, agreeable) and partly due to the way women generally communicate (especially with other women). A lot of that communication is based on paying attention, understanding other people's needs, 'reading other's minds', etc. Men are different and it's often difficult for a woman to adapt to the men's style of communication. Some learn and manage that through life - more or less successfully, some don't. This changes nowadays, of course. Women also have become much more direct in expressing themselves.

Then, people are different. Some communicate more easily than others. Some are simply more reserved and have problems expressing their thoughts and feelings (this goes both for men and women). People who generally have problems expressing themselves are sometimes more prone to 'outbursts' and 'dramas' when they finally do that. Maybe they kept everything inside for too long. Maybe they wanted to tell, but didn't know how or they tried, but were misunderstood.

Some cultures also find indirect way of expressing much more favourable and polite than the direct one and expect both from men and women to communicate less and 'read other people's minds' more.



No, I find men 'drama queens' too feminine.

RE: Kittens & Cats

This is what often happens if you allow your cat to sleep in your bed: