I don't know who those people are, but during my short existence on CS (since December - this is not my first profile) - I came to the conclusion that CS blogs and forums are for fun only, not places to make friends or find love. People spread all sorts of gossips about other people, hide their identity too much (there are exceptions, of course!) and it creates the atmosphere of distrust. I don't like that, so I stay away from personal contacts with people from this site for a while now.
However, I decided not to let CS experience make me completely distrustful about virtual people in general, because I really have some VERY good experiences - both friendships and romantic ones - with people I met on the internet.
Everyone has their own opinion and people write all sorts of things on forums. It can really affect others. Just the other day I was reading a thread on another forum about some relationship problems that were similar to some I had had in the past and - people were so judgemental, so cruel in their comments that they made the OP feel like the worst person on the planet. And not only the OP! I was reading that and started to question myself... Sometimes forums give us some different perspective on our problems, but sometimes they can give us some completely distorted view as well. We should be careful.
I think that people cannot really get to know someone in a long-distance relationship. I was in a long-distance relationship in the past and we saw each other quite regularly, since we were not so far away. It started as a "summer romance" (he was a friend of the friend I was visiting during the summer) and went on for 8 months. We spent a couple of days together, a week together, a couple of weeks together, the whole month together, but... I always felt like I'm actually having a long summer romance. It wasn't the same as dating someone living in your town you see (almost) every day. Everything was - either too much or too little. When we were together - it was like living together (and we didn't know each other well enough for something like that, so it felt rather forced) and when we were away - there was nothing but skype and messages. It didn't feel REAL. It's hard to explain... I think that I needed much more time to realize that we actually didn't suit each other than I would have needed if we had lived in the same town. I met his family and friends and those really important information about him I got through them, actually. They gave me a more complete picture I wouldn't have got for many more months hadn't I met them.
This happened to me, too. It's weird - when you finally meet your virtual love. It's like meeting someone you know and someone who is completely new - at the same time. A very unnatural feeling actually. It might develop into love relationship in reality, too, but it doesn't have to. It depends whether you are going to like all sides of that person or not - those sides you cannot possibly get to know on skype.
I know people who fell in love with someone's posts on forums, without ever seeing that person (seeing only their avatars and nicknames). I have a friend who got married that way. We were all chatting on one forum and he got a message from a woman saying: "I want to meet you. I'm in love with your posts." and he replied: "But you know nothing about me" and she said: "I don't care. You can be the ugliest person in the world. I'm already in love with you". They met, started dating, got married, have two children now... Everything is possible.
Your own feelings are always real for you. That's why people who play with other people romantically and emotionally online are so cruel. Some say: "But it's only internet! It's not real!". But - it IS real for the one having those feelings.
One can spend all their life in love with virtual people without ever meeting them. It depends whether it's something one wants... I know people who don't want to meet in person. They want to have eternal virtual love relationships. They have their emotional needs fulfilled on the internet without all the responsibilities and problems a real relationship can have. It's not much different with people who like long-distance relationships. They take the best, only fun, only joy and - never deal with everyday problems, duties, etc.
Mayako Forum Posts (89)
RE: Holiday season
Congratulations!(I started to feel a little bit silly (even ashamed) for pretending to believe all these CS stories, but that's a part of this game, I suppose...