It was not an attempt at being clever, it was an obvious question that sprung from a statement of yours that made you sound like you had travelled the world investigating "the fraudulent healers" and thought may be you had first hand experience in exposing charlatans. On the other hand may be you are just a very rude arrogant young man Whichever way your vehemence and arrogance is yours to keep ...
Wherever you got your information from, obviously made quite an impression on you ...
Nah!!! They get caught because they haven't developped startegies to make up for their smaller peripheral vision!! Once my parents and my kids and me were at the beach laying on towels. My parents were in their early seventies. I watched a really beautiful woman in a bikini walk towards us and thought to myself "Ok Dad! It's no way you are not going to have a good look!" And waited and watched My Dad DID have a good look, but instead of gawping and making it really obvious, he was very casual about it somehow managed it without my Mum noticing a thing!! And believe me she would have commented if she had!!! I had a little chuckle to myself and thought "Sooooooooooooo that's how it's done!!!!"
I agree and disagree with both BN and you ... the fact that you would happily give up smoking if you met someone who is a non smoker and dislikes smoking, I see as a positive change, since it is YOUR decision that you would happily do so. Smoking is not good for one's health so it's a positive change. It is also a change/compromise that doesn't alter who you are fundamentaly.
What I would see as self-sabotage would be if one smokes, the other one doesn't like it, but rather than say so and so as not to upset the smoker suddenly starts smoking to fit in ... That is the kind of change that I see as going against what is good for oneself.
Basically, total rigidity as well as "wiping oneself out" are both forms of self-sabotage, because they are both extreme ...
For me ... change for oneself should be about self-growth in a positive direction and shoulf happen when we are ready. To stay stubornly static is kinda self-sabotage and so is to change in a way that is detrimental to ourselves just to please someone...
There is always room for compromise within a relationship, about "small things". I call small things, the things that make no real difference if you do them one way or another, the ones that might have become a habit because you lived on your own and it made no difference as there was no one else to consider. Example: We both smoke but I dislike the smell of smoke in the bedroom. My partner always smoked in the bedroom but has very kindly refrained from doing so after I explained. In the gran scheme of things of our relationship it makes no difference where we smoke. It's all linked to habit, including the smoking!!!
I don't believe that anyone should compromise on fundamental values. Unless of course one of the person "discovers" that they would like to adopt the other's values because they recognise them as "what they were searching for". Don't know if that makes any sense. I know what I mean!!!
If the person you are sharing all of the above with is not patient, not kind, proud, easily angered, and perpetrator of wrongs DO keep a record of wrongs because love is NOT being protective SO stop trusting, hoping and persevering and get the hell outta there ... to give you a new chance of finding someone who is deserving of you sharing the above with them!!
Have it printed and pinned on my wall!!!! The whole story:
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, confusion, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:
"Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
I learned that it is my responsibility, and no one elses to take care/nurture my mind, heart and my soul ... my body is then taken care of (agree with CherokeeGrandma on this one) . Only then am I fit to take care of, support or share my life with anyone else.
Don't believe in religion myself ... I do believe in a pure higher power/energy which I choose to call God/Devine energy
When "God/s" are used as a means to harnessing that energy within & access "higher" pure resources of energy, I see that as a good thing ... I don't know all the scientific names but do it in a way that works for me ... and stays in the positive, purest intents ...
Great explanation about dis-ease/ease within the body
Some people find it difficult to believe anything they can't see with their own eyes or rationalise IE if someone takes medication they can rationalise why they are getting better ...
Metaphysics refers to the studies of what cannot be reached through objective studies of material reality.
RE: oh well its time to go to bed ! bet none of you has evere gone to bed ?
I did once!!! Let me think ... It was soft and comfortable and cosy and snuggly and warm and