I'm for real alright. Indian society is still very much into living in joint families so we do not have the luxury of having our mothers-in-law 'leave' or 'stop' their whining. We gotta grin and bear it, then give our husbands hell in the bedroom.
I was mailing someone who is 'apparently' located in India and another in Australia. Yesterday, the 'Australian' slipped up with his name and I realised it was one and the same person. I confronted him and he pulled the profile that gives his location as Australia.
Has anyone come across folks on CS that have multiple profiles? What are your thoughts on the same?
In India, a house loan can be taken over by another bank or financial institution. That way, you can shop for a lower interest rate (floating or fixed), get a bank to pay up your current financer and service the loan with the new financer at a lower interest rate. Is that possible in your neck of the woods?
One day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself,'It's certainly not a ship.'
As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft.
Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wetsuit.
Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wetsuit stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!
She walked up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, 'Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?' 'Ten years,' replied the amazed Irishman. With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter. He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. 'Faith and begorrah,' said the castaway, 'that is so good! I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!'
'And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Bushmill's Irish Whiskey?' asked the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replied, 'Ten years.' Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink. ' 'Tis nectar of the gods!' shouted the Irishman. ' 'Tis truly fantastic!!!'
At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle to the zippers end. She looked at the trembling man and asked, 'And how long has it been since you played around?'
With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, 'Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too!'
A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'
Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'
'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.
Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'
Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'
The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens?
They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'
MORAL:
When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will be a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.
Its not a matter of trust, its a matter of money. Being 43 yrs old I'd have imagined that she was mature enough to acknowledge that you deserve a return on your investment. These papers you talk about - what do they say?
It seems that the mods have been kind enough not to tamper with the Forums 'for now'. So lets make do with what we have. Post whatever you want to say to anyone right now.... I'll start..
Ruben, you are welcome! I look forward to seeing that thread.
After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.
He almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.
He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hands down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach.
He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently down her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and started to watch the TV.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, "That was wonderful. Why did you stop?"
A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade.
Realizing his employer won't be pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like here?"
The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees."
Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage".
Editor: "Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?"
Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: "While on our honeymoon, we decided to go horse riding. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one. On the way, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time". She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued. When the horse dropped her the third time, she silently took out the revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead!! I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho? You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?" She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!" Husband:"That's it. We are happy ever after."
I don't normally check out profiles of guys below 40 but was compelled to check out yours, just to see what you consider 'ugly' in yourself.
I don't see anything wrong but don't mind me...I'm just an old bag attempting to lift your spirits.
You are of a cheerful disposition and that alone can catch the attention of many young ladies in here. So don't give up, stay on the forums and in no time you'll be telling us you've found 'THE' one.
Ha ha..no not wanting anyone to be blind...but just wondering if you consider yourself in love would you still "check out" profiles or chat with other poeple?[/quote
I don't think being in love should stop anyone from 'chatting' with other people.....but....'chatting UP' other people would be a no no for me.
THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. 'THAT WAS MY PAGER,' SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM.
A FEW MINUTE S LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, 'THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND.'
THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW -TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END.
THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER. THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID.........WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT....I'M GETTING A FAX!!
A Norwegian fella wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test.
Here is your first question, the foreman said. 'Without using numbers, represent the number 9.'
'Without numbers?' The Norwegian says, 'Dat's easy.' and proceeds to draw three trees.
'What's this?' the boss asks.
'Vot! you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine,' says the Norwegian.
'Fair enough,' says the boss. 'Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99.'
The Norwegian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. 'Dar ya go.'
The boss scratches his head and says, 'How on earth do you get that to represent 99?'
'Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99.'
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this guy, so he says, 'All right, last question.
Same rules again, but represent the number 100.'
The Norwegian fella stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, 'Dar ya go. Von hundred.'
The boss looks at the attempt. 'You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!'
The Norwegian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, 'A little dog come along and pooped by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, vich makes von hundred.'
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out,she barely said good morning,let alone' Happy Birthday.'
I thought...Well,that's marriage for you, but the kids.... They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office,my secretary Jane said,'Good Morning Boss, and by the way 'Happy Birthday'! It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, 'You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.' I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!
We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We?' I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind ?' She said,'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner.'
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, 'Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.' 'Ok.' I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday.'
And I just sat there............................................... ...................................................................
On the couch...................................................... .........................................................................................................................................................................................................
Karma3 Forum Posts (588)
RE: Meddling mother-in-law
Nice meeting you too.