muppetkillermuppetkiller Forum Posts (310)

RE: I joined a couple of months ago.

Hey dini, nice to meet you. wave

RE: Post your jokes

My Private Part Died Today!

An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing home.

One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong.

'Yes, Nurse Tracy,' said Mr. Goldstein, 'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.'

Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences.

The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy.

'Mr. Goldstein,' she said, 'You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that..

Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.'

But, Nurse Tracy,' replied Mr. Goldstein, ' I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.'

'Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?'

You gotta love this!!!!!!!!!!!

'Well, he replied, 'Today's the viewing.'

RE: ZODIAC GAME

I'm Virgo. True to form, I'm critical and step on toes just by making a casual observation.

I'd rather be a Scorpio. Then I'd have the ability to keep my mouth shut.

(No offense to other Virgos.) See what I mean?doh

RE: HOW CAN YOU TELL IF SOMEONE IS REALLY STUPED ?

Do you suppose there would be a onslaught of people using blow dryers in the tub?

Worse yet, while sleeping?grin

RE: WHO'S THE BEST NOVELIST IN THE WORLD ? AND WHAT MAKES THEIR NOVELS SO GOOD ?

What language?

Wow, what a question! I can't make that comparison because I don't speak that many languages. Novels lose subtleties and nuances when they are translated.

Isaac Asimov has to be the most prolific writer, ever. I have read many of his books, both fiction and non-fiction.

Many were sci-fi and industrious geeks have spent years making some of those things come to fruition.

That's one of the things I like about his novels. I would not, however, consider him the best novelist.

I've read many books by Nobel winners but they're not the ones I find myself reading again and again. Some have been beautifully written and they're fine books, just not as enjoyable as my personal favorites.

RE: Best Female singers of all time.

Josephine Baker would be on my list.
I would also have to add Clare Torry.

RE: What was the best era for music....

Definitely the 70's. All the greats from the 50's and 60's were still touring and collaborating with the youngsters. Delta blues men would open for great rock bands. Muddy Waters, Bo Diddley, Howlin' Wolf and B.B. King toured with the Temptations and Chuck Berry. I saw some Legends! I could buy concert tickets out of my allowance and still have money for gas and a t-shirt. All day music festivals had blues, rock, funk, soul, folk and progressive played by real musicians.

All that crap in the 80's put me right off music. Duran Duran, Madonna, Rap and DISCO!!! Blech! I thought the 80's would never go away. They were awful, indeed.

Thought I'd died and gone to Heaven when I heard Nirvana. (err, so to speak)

RE: Who was the best Rocker Singer Ever, from the list below!

Suzi Quatro, Paul Stanley, Ozzy Osbourne, Springsteen and Ian Gillian could all be bumped off this list.

Janice Joplin
Burton Cummings
Steve Tyler
Steve Perry
Jon Anderson
Nancy Wilson
Mick Jagger

Heck, I'd put Rod Stewart or Rod Argent on the list before Springsteen, or Ozzy, or anyone from Kiss, especially considering Kiss covered an Argent song. (Not a good one, either.)

Freddie Mercury got my vote for Best Ever. Robert Plant runs a close second because he's old enough to be my father and can still belt it out. Dude should get a Lifetime Achievement for going strong after 40 years. That would put Jagger and Tyler at my top, as well.

RE: Say Something to Someone No Need to Name Names....

I choked up on that one. Very good! Buahahaha!applause

RE: Earthquake

You'd be surprised how many places in the US have earthquakes.

I've lived near two Air Force bases and mistaken earthquakes for low-flying bombers rattling china and shaking windows with a deep growl.

There are several deep faults and many failed rifts in the continent.

RE: The Color Wheel Model of Love

I too had the opportunity to read my ex's profile on a dating site. I was shocked to read he lived alone, never mind the other stuff. And he wondered why I gave the ring back...

I don't believe in the self-less love, that's just asking for trouble.

RE: If you have to choose

I'm with Iconoclast. Years ago, my house had a revolving door and 9 times out of 10, I would have selected solitude.

I've been isolated for several years and also find I need to leave after 15 minutes, for a breather. Even in my own house, I have to walk out and be left alone. It's really bad in the mornings. I love my daughter but I find myself wishing she would go home.

Dating works okay, until they spend the night at my place.

I used to fill beds, sofas and kept extra sleeping bags for overnight guests. My last relationship ended when I pointedly asked him if he had someplace to go, after I made him breakfast. I couldn't wait to get him gone.

Maybe it has to do with always playing hostess when I was younger. I never really liked any of those people. I can't even stand staying in someone else's home. I prefer a hotel.

RE: Anyone ever feel...

"Taxi" (1972) by Harry Chapin always spoke to me, even as a little kid. Same with "Cats in The Cradle" I was 8 and 10, when they spoke volumes. Unfortunately, they've become more true with time.

It was raining hard in 'Frisco,
I needed one more fare to make my night.
A lady up ahead waved to flag me down,
She got in at the light.
Oh, where you going to, my lady blue,
It's a shame you ruined your gown in the rain.
She just looked out the window, and said
"Sixteen Parkside Lane".
Something about her was familiar
I could swear I'd seen her face before,
But she said, "I'm sure you're mistaken"
And she didn't say anything more.
It took a while, but she looked in the mirror,
And she glanced at the license for my name.
A smile seemed to come to her slowly,
It was a sad smile, just the same.
And she said, "How are you Harry?"
I said, "How are you Sue?
Through the too many miles
and the too little smiles
I still remember you."
It was somewhere in a fairy tale,
I used to take her home in my car.
We learned about love in the back of the Dodge,
The lesson hadn't gone too far.
You see, she was gonna be an actress,
And I was gonna learn to fly.
She took off to find the footlights,
And I took off to find the sky.
Oh, I've got something inside me,
To drive a princess blind.
There's a wild man, wizard,
He's hiding in me, illuminating my mind.
Oh, I've got something inside me,
Not what my life's about,
Cause I've been letting my outside tide me,
Over 'till my time, runs out.
Baby's so high that she's skying,
Yes she's flying, afraid to fall.
I'll tell you why baby's crying,
Cause she's dying, aren't we all.
There was not much more for us to talk about,
Whatever we had once was gone.
So I turned my cab into the driveway,
Past the gate and the fine trimmed lawns.
And she said we must get together,
But I knew it'd never be arranged.
And she handed me twenty dollars,
For a two fifty fare, she said
"Harry, keep the change."
Well another man might have been angry,
And another man might have been hurt,
But another man never would have let her go...
I stashed the bill in my shirt.
And she walked away in silence,
It's strange, how you never know,
But we'd both gotten what we'd asked for,
Such a long, long time ago.
You see, she was gonna be an actress
And I was gonna learn to fly.
She took off to find the footlights,
And I took off for the sky.
And here, she's acting happy,
Inside her handsome home.
And me, I'm flying in my taxi,
Taking tips, and getting stoned,
I go flying so high, when I'm stoned.

RE: If You were a fruit.............

Watermelon.

Thick-skinned, low maintenance, tolerates heat, can be left alone until the weather gets frosty, needs to be brought indoors. Doesn't like cold, wet environments.

RE: Describe Yourself With One Word

mercurial

RE: Name

1. I know 4-5 languages, some dialects and only use them with native speakers. Won awards for writing and was published, as a kid.

2. I can cook up a storm, if it involves a party.

3. I used to sing in the church choir. I can sing the blues with a good shuffle, as inspiration.

4. I'm artistic. I used to paint, draw, sew, make jewelery, as long as it was my secret. I gave it up when others took credit. I wear a ring I made in a garage.

5. I saved my best friend's life, as a teen, according to her. I didn't save 3 kids at 31, even though I tried. That failure haunts me.

RE: The most appropriate definition of a contemporary term I've ever heard!

Oddly enough, Americans still work more. I'm American looking for a Visa in France. Most liberal foreign country for Americans.

What happened to liberal Visas for artists, writers, painters, singers, etc?

Liberals don't mean much in politics. What's wrong with Americans living in a country for a year? God knows we don't want to STAY! Why aren't we part of the EU?

RE: Define a person who is great

Sense of irony is a major plus Independent thinker and termed a "character" is fabulous.

If he's an engineer for years, while maintaining low-key character, that's great, to me.

RE: Good/Bad Hair Day?

Got tired of dying my hair. My gray is white, where it used to be blond.

I'm all natural and like my white streaks. I've had them since my tweens and twenties. Oddly enough, I had women ask me my color, the last I was in the shop. My hairdresser and I were both growly when we replied, "Natural".

I used to have blond and brown hair, with white streaks. Now it's brown and white. All my blond turned white. I'm over 40, so it doesn't bother me, anymore. I actually show off the white.

I started highlighting to cover the gray, in my teens. It's nice to have white and not care.

RE: Let's Dance

Thanks all! I'm the woman who loves to dance and can't learn to follow.

I even tried in my living room. How does a woman learn how to follow, when she's always the lead?

RE: Do clothes make the man (or woman)?

I dress however I feel, at the time. Sometimes, I'm very stylish and pay attention to detail. Other times, I prefer sweats and flip-flops.

I had a guy meet me in an "animal" t-shirt from the muppets, while wearing jeans and boots. He was gorgeous, grabbed his favorite "t" from the dryer, slightly wrinkled, while his jeans fit perfectly on his boots. Slightly messy, paid attention to detail, but still looked like he didn't care, while he made a statement.

I had a cashmere sweater with a silk-blend blazer and soft chocolate jeans with a small hole/threadbare spot on one knee, cable socks and very nice loafers.

I also dress for comfort, but style is nice. I can wear jeans and look like a million bucks. I might wear a pair of black jeans, black suede boots, a deep-red, wine colored turtleneck and a black velvet Edwardian frock coat. I'm very comfy and warm. Throw on a garnet necklace and people ask why I'm "dressed up". Same jeans, same comfy suede boots, an old navy t-shirt and people will glance, but I'm no longer dramatic, or dressy.

Clothes definitely influence opinions. I have found that men always expect my bedroom to be decked in velvets and/or silk, because it's what I wear. I can't afford those textiles for my bed. Besides, silk pj's slide across silk/satin sheets and one's out on the floor. I'd rather have silk pajamas and sleep on cotton sheets.

I like to see men in jeans, if they pick a nice shirt, wear a selection of shoes, it grabs my attention. If they wear the same thing everyday, especially tennis shoes, trainers, or walkers, they lack imagination. I wouldn't think "what a loser", I'd think, "boring!"

RE: Why is so difficult to find the right one?

I want a guy who doesn't demand I go to bed with him. I want a guy who let's me write, paint, whatever, and slide in bed with him, for my four hours.

When I'm creative, I sleep four hours. When I dream about creativity, I sleep 12- 14 hours. What's wrong with a woman sleeping, or working, while her man sleeps? What's wrong with her working, while he sleeps?

RE: Why Are You Still Single?

I lived with a slob for thirteen years. I like my tidy place. It doesn't have to be spotless, but I don't want to pick up after man and his kids. I like my tidy place. I lied, I prefer to live in a spotless house.

I don't want to tidy up after kids. I want my house to be clean, all the time. I don't want to live with kids.

RE: What's your favorite metal or hard rock band?

I'm 43 and so far, all the bands were around before I hit high school, except King Diamond.

Whys the old lady introducing new stuff?

RE: What's your favorite metal or hard rock band?

Black Sabbath, AC/DC and any hard rock bands that are 30-40 years old, should not apply.

Tool is good for hard rock.

I think Metallica is too old for metal/ hard rock.

Is there nothing current? Why are all these kids listening to their parent's music? Granted, it was good stuff. I love Tool and Led Zeppelin.

Is there nothing newer and fabulous?

RE: What's your favorite metal or hard rock band?

The question, fave metal or hard rock band.

Journey will never be metal or hard rock.

I've grown to love King Diamond. They're cult and deserve praise. I don't even like metal. I hated Metallica, 25 years ago. Some metal bands grow on me. I went to go see Metallica, 25 years ago.

I would go see King Diamond, now. I know all the songs. I'm ashamed to admit it and I like them.

RE: Best concerts you've seen? Yep, I still go to concerts :)

$300 bucks for Journey? You must be kidding!

My first solo concert, Journey with the Baby's. I gave my ex-husband my albums, who would think a Baby's cd for "Head First" would cost 80 bucks! I miss that album, more than the husband! I think I paid 7 bucks for mezzanine.

Marshall Tucker Band at Six Flags in Texas. I was 18 and it was my only reason to go to the park. $14 bucks Best concert ticket I ever bought.

Texxas Jamm in '78 was packed. I remember Aerosmith because Tyler fell off stage, my mom had a seizure and Nugent rocked the place. I think I saw Heart. Maybe we paid 10 bucks.

Pink Floyd moved me, after we left the car in a parking lot and walked to the concert, in Texas Stadium. It was a full moon that night. We traded our tix for 3rd row and gave the scalper $30 bucks. Third row, Texas Stadium, best seats ever!

I had tickets for Led Zeppelin in 78. I saw Page and Plant, in Dallas, with Jason Bonham and it was 3/4 Zeppelin. I saw Plant solo. I cried both times. Robert Plant always makes me cry. I was 4 years old when I fell in love with Led Zeppelin. I was up close, center for Page and Plant.

I've gone to many concerts, thats my top five.

RE: how bad you are??????

I'm bad and I will admit it.

I rips tags off of everything, as soon as it hits my bedroom.

I've seduced men in their twenties, let them seduce me.

My last boyfriend was 13 years younger.

I grow my own nails, frost my own hair with a gray that comes naturally. "What you see, is what you get." I can walk into any room and snag the best looking guy. because I am a phenomenal woman.

My breasts are my own and I am, as God made me. I stride into a room and catch a man's eye. Whatever he sees has aged, has experience and wisdom. I have the courage to show my gray hair. The experience that lifts my breasts and wisdom between my thighs.

I never feel jealous of a twenty-year-old woman. She doesn't have my stories, wit, wisdom, or experience.

RE: If there was one thing you could have known about your last partner before you met them...

I had six weeks with a man and booted him. I thought I could contact him when I was ready. He moved 650 miles, then Africa, etc.

I saw him in 2004, as we were going to Taco Bell, in a small Texas town. I said, "I'll be damned! _____!" I still wasn't ready.

He stared at me, with that Sam Elliot glare and I wanted to run up and give him a hug. I remembered his best friend's remark that no woman was worth 2 hours drive and asked myself if I was worth his time. Then I asked myself if I would drive two hours to see him. I debated these issues, while he waited in the parking lot. He was still outside, when I emerged.

He shrugged and left. If he had smiled, I would have run across that parking lot, pulled him out of that truck, and followed him, anywhere.

I think about him, all the time. If I see him again, I don't care if he glares at me. I'm going to hug him and kiss him.

I think he's my man and I'd rather wait for him.

RE: would you date someone that was always trying to bring other people down to make themselve look good

You mean the people who put you down, then the waitstaff, only to order dinner?

After 5 minutes, I'm ready to go. The waiter will spit in my food and the jerk won't be any fun. Once the food arrives, the jerk will tell me I'm fat, if I eat, or I'm anorexic, because I'm scared of spit in my food...whatever the reason, this dude will put us all down.

I'll think, "I shaved my legs for this?" and "Can I go home now, please?"

I stay home to avoid those guys.

This is a list of forum posts created by muppetkiller.

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