Diamond123 Forum Posts (460)

Monday Morning Joke Only

Monday Morning Joke Only

Happy IVGLDSW Day!? ( For Women Only)

Happy IVGLDSW Day!? ( For Women Only)

You must furnish yer own booze when you get to Heaven,,,,,,,,,,

Happy IVGLDSW Day!? ( For Women Only)

Happy IVGLDSW Day!? ( For Women Only)

Happy IVGLDSW Day!? ( For Women Only)

Happy IVGLDSW Day!?

Today is," International Very Good Looking, Damn Smart Woman's Day", so please send this message to someone you think fits this description. Please do not send it back to me as I have already received it from a Very Good Looking, Damn Smart Woman! And remember this motto to live by: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, totally worn out and screaming 'WOOO HOOOOO what a ride!'?

To the Girls !!?



Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened.?
- Cora Harvey Armstrong-?




Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out But I can usually shut her up with cookies.?
(Unknown)?




The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.?
-Helen Hayes (at 73)-?




I refuse to think of them as chin hair. I think of them as stray eyebrows.?
- Janette Barber-?







Old age ain't no place for sissies .?
-Bette Davis-?





Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.?


- Caryn Leschen -?




If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.?
-Catherine-?





I'm not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.?
- Roseanne Barr-?




Behind every successful man is a surprised woman?
- Maryon Pearson-?




Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.?
-Eleanor Roosevelt-?



Send this to five bright women you know and make their day.?

When life hands you lemons,?
ask for tequila and salt and call me over!!?

The Goosed Blonde and Me

The Goosed Blonde and Me

Tom Diamond

I was leaning back against the bar with one of my friends when three blondes strolled up to the bar and ordered drinks..My buddy and I toasted each other with our Bud-lites
as we lathered, tongues lolling at the great poochy lookin' butts jiggling right in front of our eyes.
Then disaster.

One of the blondes goosed the other.

I was standing right next to the goosed one.

My buddy and I whispered disasterous opinons

She looked right straight at me.

She giggled.

One of her blonde friends admitted to gooseing her.

Hey guys,what would you have done if you were in my place?

Monday Morning Joke Only

Subject: Good Info To Have
> >
> >
> > Good Info To Have
> >
> > After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final
word on
> > nutrition and health:
> >
> > 1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
> >
> > 2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
> >
> > 3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks
than us.
> >
> > 4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks
> > than us.
> >
> > 5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer
fewer heart
> > attacks than us.
> >
> > CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is
apparently what
> > kills you. But don't worry, your Government is trying to correct this
problem.

RE: broken hearts purple hearts

Hey thanks Lagoona! We're goona get those scumbags,,,,,,

RE: broken hearts purple hearts

Thanks and bless you darlin,

RE: broken hearts purple hearts

Yuh,pay attention to yer community cemeteries. There are real loved ones at rest there.
Thanks for the love 1

RE: broken hearts purple hearts

RE: broken hearts purple hearts

RE: broken hearts purple hearts

RE: broken hearts purple hearts

Whoever did that will get their reward.

RE: broken hearts purple hearts

Thanks for yer support!

RE: broken hearts purple hearts

Hey Nomind, the community that gave so many of it's kids in combat is more than ready to prosecute.
Thanks for the kind support!

RE: broken hearts purple hearts

Thanks kissy darlin. Times comin when we'll gat whoever did that deed.

RE: broken hearts purple hearts

Thanks Angel,yer the kinda gal a guy needs to cover his back. like a rock.

What If I followed Your Elusive Dreams And Schemes ?

Thanks Buddy!
TD

What If I followed Your Elusive Dreams And Schemes ?

Yup,,,,,,,her profile doesn't do her justice . Her photo can't compare with what she looks like in person as she's much more beautiful than portrayed here on CS. Her intelligence and mind is what I've been looking for.
Now if I can just get her used to $9.00 Wine,,,Shots of Seagrams7,,Dirty Dancin' all night, shooting pool, and drinking backazwards then I recon she'll workout.

What If I followed Your Elusive Dreams And Schemes ?

Great! As long as they have a Wal-Mart in Arkansas !

What If I followed Your Elusive Dreams And Schemes ?

Way ta go Ship,,,,,,,,,

RE: Good Question,"Do you have a limit to what a man can fantasize about in bed?"

Well I guess( I have to jump in here , ) if a man wakes up under a tent and is stuck to the bed,he's had the ultimate fantasy! I can't believe I'm in this thread!

What If I followed Your Elusive Dreams And Schemes ?

What If I followed Your Elusive Dreams And Schemes ?

Tom Diamond

If I decided to follow you and make you my own, where would I need to go and where would we wind up ?

Should you sail a Schooner around the Cape of Good Hope would you allow me to stand next to you ?

Would it be alright if I took you in my arms to offer shelter from a sandstorm in the hottest deserts of North Africa ?

If you were trapped in a burning building in California, would you faithfully follow me to safety ?

If I followed you into the Outback of Australia and found you dying in the hills,would you let me suffer with you? Could I die beside you ?

If I followed you into the Amazon Jungles and became lost in the deepest darkest valley, would you find me ? Would you be my guiding light?

If you found me dying alone in some forgotten hospital somewhere on this planet, would you lay with me?

If you found yourself following your true love, how far would you be willing to go ? How far have you already gone and returned from ?
Have you ever truly made an effort to recover a lost love ?
Why is true love so elusive?
Sincerely,
TD

Just Think for A Minute

Just Think for A Minute

Just Think for A Minute