Skip to main content

RE: Miss The Most

I mostly miss having someone to laugh at life with. The internet is fine, yet hearing someone laugh is priceless. OK, so I listen to myself laugh at times, but that's not the same..........laugh

faster than a speeding bullet...lol

life would get soooooooooooooooo boring if you gave up. NEVER! I say! NEVER!rolling on the floor laughing

superman needs a little sex too!

it was just brought back to my attention by a friend, and I laughed then and still laugh now. seems like a joke we would have told back in grade school, yet funny now as an adult........rolling on the floor laughing

faster than a speeding bullet...lol

Superman was feeling bored after a long streak of crime fighting and wanted to go out and party.

He called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club and pick up some girls. Batman said Robin was ill and he had to look after him.

A little disappointed, Superman called Spiderman to see if he fancied a few beers. Spiderman told him he had a date with Cat Woman.

As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonder Woman's apartment to see if she was free. As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonder Woman naked on the bed with her legs open.

Superman thought to himself, 'I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I could be in there, have sex,

and be out again before she knew what was happening.'

So Superman did his super thing in a split second and flew off happily.

Meanwhile on the bed, Wonder Woman said, 'Did you hear something?'

'No!' said the Invisible Man, 'but my a** sure hurts like hell!'

superman needs a little sex too!

Superman was feeling bored after a long streak of crime fighting and wanted to go out and party.

He called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club and pick up some girls. Batman said Robin was ill and he had to look after him.

A little disappointed, Superman called Spiderman to see if he fancied a few beers. Spiderman told him he had a date with Cat Woman.

As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonder Woman's apartment to see if she was free. As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonder Woman naked on the bed with her legs open.

Superman thought to himself, 'I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I could be in there, have sex,

and be out again before she knew what was happening.'

So Superman did his super thing in a split second and flew off happily.

Meanwhile on the bed, Wonder Woman said, 'Did you hear something?'

'No!' said the Invisible Man, 'but my a** sure hurts like hell!'

If I ran for President?

ok, chief negotiator it is then. negotiate what's for dinner will ya? rolling on the floor laughing

Would you Marry?

think he is, maybe he will run a mile if we say YES to a proposal

I run 2 per day now, so yes, yes, a thousand times yes, for a positive answer TODAY! rolling on the floor laughing

Might even swim over the Atlantic to get to my furure Bride.

Yeah right! rolling on the floor laughing

If I ran for President?

sorounded by cabinets is what you will be......in the kitchen as secretary of cookense........................are you being ungrateful?rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

RE: It's Good To Laugh!!

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

RE: It's Good To Laugh!!

Bewster the Rooster


There once lived a farmer who had a chicken coop, and sold eggs which his chickens laid and thats how he fed his family and made ends meet.

All his roosters had died, and the chickens were not laying any eggs. He was about to lose his house. his truck, his tractor, and soon, his wife. Business sucked, plain and simple.

one day while walking to town, he saw a sign that read, " rooster for sale. Solve all your worries. Do all your hens. mr stud. Gigantor stamina.
10 bucks."

the man could not believe his eyes. he ran and knocked on the door of the house.

I want the rooster you have for sale" he said to the farmer eagerly.

"Well sir, would you wish to see the rooster first before making such a hasty decision?" The farmer asked

" oh sure! Sure!" said the chicken man.

so out back they go, and there way back, way deep in the woods, is a cage covered with a blanket. the farmer peeks inside, and says. " this is bewster" as he pulls the blanket of the cage. There stood this featherless rooster. skinny as a tooth pick, with the sorriest look you could have ever laid eyes on. head hung low and all.

" you're kidding right?" said the chicken man

"OH! don't read a book by it's cover mr." said the farmer

" would you like a demonstration?"

" sure thing!" said the chicken man.

so the farmer grabbed a chicken, and walked over to the cage. Slowly he pulled the cage door wide enough as only to allow the chicken to be thrown in the cage, but not let Brewster out. He threw the chicken up in the air into the cage and before it hit the grown, Brewster was pinning it. rolling on the floor laughing

" ok! that's fine." said the chicken man. " but I have 237 hens. can he do them all?"

" watch this." said the farmer as he did it again, and threw a second and then a third chicken into the cage. before each chicken hit the ground, brewster had performed, and mated with them.

" I'll take him" said the chicken man.

the farmer gave brewster to the chicken man and told him NOT to let Brewster out of his cage. "never let him out of his cage." he warned.

the chicken man took brewster home, and being so excited felt all his worries were over. he arrived and thought, hell this man is crazy. this rooster is going to do all my hens and I'm going to be rich.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO< he let brewster out of the cage.

well, brewster went to work right away. he did every chicken, and when he was done he did them again, and again. he did them so much they agn to drop from exhaustion. soon there was no hens left standing.

" Brewster" said the chicken man. "slow down. you'll run yourself ragged, you'll end up dead." but brewster kept on pinning. he did the dog the cat, the sheep. the cows. there was mooing, and sqealing, and squaking. feathers and fur balls flew through the air. dust cloud everywhere as the animals tried desperately to get away from brewster, with no such luck.

" Brewster" said the chicken man. " slow down, you'll run yourself ragged, you'll end up dead."

But brewster kept on at it all through the night.

when morning came, the man heard silence. he walked outside and there he saw every animal he owned out cold. they laid there as if dead. and out in the pasture, there flew some voltures in a circular motion.

" brewster" the man thought. " now you've done it..........you've gone and sexed yourself to death." he hung his head low as he walked out to check on his rooster.
sure enough, there laid brewster, his tongue haning out, eyes closed, and motionless.

" Brewster, now you did it. You gone and died on me............I told you to slow down." the man said to brewster













Brewster open one eye and said.








" shut the hell up they're just getting ready to land

Would you Marry?

may the force be with you Silverfox. She will be found.never give up.......never surrendor.....................grin

RE: It's Good To Laugh!!

great thread ...........now let me inject my humor about a DONKEY.

there once lived a man who carried his produce to market on his back. he was so slow doing so, he always arrived at market a few hours before it closed, so he never made enough, and would carry his produce all the way home where it would spoil.
One day while walking home he noticed a sign that read " donkey for sale"

Wow! he thought. "that's what I need!" so he approached the house, and knocked on the door. a priest answered.

"Yes. Can I help you?" asked the priest

" Sure. I see you have a donkey for sale, and it is just what I need. But I have not too much money, and I do need a donkey, so I will be able to get my produce to sell at market."
" how much are you asking for him?" he asked.

" 50 dollars" said the priest.

The man almost fainted as that was all the money he had, but knew this donkey would solve all his problems.

"I'll take it." he said

the priest showed the man the donkey and he quickly jumped up on him and kicked him to begin walking. BUT! the donkey would not move. he pulled it's hair, kicked him some more, and still the donkey would not budge.

" whoa whoa!" said the priest. " listen! this is a very special donkey.

"to make him run you must say Thank God, and to stop you must say Amen" he instructed.

well this man was so excited about his donkey he just said. " yeah yeah! Thank God" and the donkey began a slow gallup. the man was please. after a few miles his butt began to hurt so the man decided tro stop a bit and said to the donkey WHHOOOOOOO, but the donkey continued on. he did everything to stop the donkey from this trot, to no avail.
Then he noticed a huge cliff up ahead, and he could not make this donkey stop. nor turn away.

Thinking he would die he began to pray. " Our Father who art in heaven.............Blah Blah blah........ he was just inches from the edge of the cliff when he said........." Amen" and the donkey stopped on a dime.

Now sweating profoundly, the man cluched his hands together looked up at the heavens and said








Thank God

rolling on the floor laughing

Would you Marry?

seabiscuit, you're cute, but don't press your luck! you just might go HUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGRY!rolling on the floor laughing

Would you Marry?

Fun on the open seas, sex under the midnight moon, dancing under the stars, and laughs heard round the world. Joy on every sunrise, smiles every minute of the day, hugs to warm your body, and soft kisses to quench your desires, even if just temporary.

Need more?yay

Would you Marry?

I'm, not here for anyones pension, and would really have no need for it to be honest. I'm quite content with my income, and it only takes a small effort on my part to increase it. Gosh LIFE IS GOOD.

Pretend weddings I am not into either, sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


NEXT!

If I ran for President?

That's ok Mike. I'm able to answer in a comical way, because by all means this is for fun not for serious discussion.

If I ran for President?

Religion is like this...........to each his own with due respect, and as for education......................given by the government for the poeple, and everyone would get a college education on the HOUSE. Unless the country's at war, which of course, would be a decisioin made by all of you.

Now, as for corruption from my new Bride? I DUN think so. I'd have her so busy thinking what she wear for me tonight, she could not even dare think of anything but.....................sexy! sexy! sexy!rolling on the floor laughing

If I ran for President?

MIke you'd be my secretary of state. It would be your job to State what we'd drink on Friday nights....PAAAAARTY at the WHITE HOOOOOOUSE! rolling on the floor laughing

If I ran for President?

for being a none believer, yet not quite telling me you would not vote, I'd make you head of the SFB. that is chit for brains.........rolling on the floor laughing

If I ran for President?

and for being my first vote, I'd make you my secretary of cookense. Get it? not defense, but COOK--ense! rolling on the floor laughing

If money was not an issue

sounds like a plan, meet ya at the top. good choice of use of your money. Must be a breathtaking view....................yay

RE: what irritates you most about the opposite sex

It is not an irritation, but a soothing thing to do to pass the time while in traffic. You have to know the traffic in the Washington DC area to appreciate picking............................rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

And Pearls? No honey it's Diaminds I pick for.............rolling on the floor laughing

Would you Marry?

Me? rolling on the floor laughing



this inquiring mind wants to know.................rolling on the floor laughing

If I ran for President?

Would I be able to count on your vote?

I'd have laughter in every household, and chicken in every pot. I'd abolish discrimination, and promise to tell you the truth, and nothing but the truth about our countires condition. Would ask you if it is ok for us to go to war, and would take your word as to how I make a decision.


NOW WOULD I HAVE YOUR VOTE?

rolling on the floor laughing

OH come on! It's only for 4 years! rolling on the floor laughing

Rectum Deodorant

that was awfully nice of you to say. Thank youhug

Rectum Deodorant

now, now, that could lead to word wars...........rolling on the floor laughing

How old is your brain?

I think it is in the speed you remember the locations on the numbers, and of course how many you get correct. you can try it again you know. once you get use to it, it can only get better.
it is a fun thing to do though, isn't it?

RE: am I too ambitious trying to date younger women?

you are so right, it is the mnd that goes first, and I wish you much success in your endevor.........

How old is your brain?

look at the bright side. Least it's not 57..............rolling on the floor laughing
I'd be worried then..........rolling on the floor laughing

How old is your brain?

ok sleepy heads, I forgot that I did nt mention my brain age, so got out of bed, simply to get this ifo to you.

I'M 38..............you go boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!yay

This is a list of forum posts created by mrsmiles4444.

We use cookies to ensure that you have the best experience possible on our website. Read Our Privacy Policy Here