Hi Sassy you too had your husband for a very long time 36 years. I see you two also were the "Bobsy Twins" did everything together. How long ago did you lose your great love? Will we ever find someone like that again? I do believe it will be different as we can not ever "replace" what we lost. Nor can we compare either. Yes grieving is different for everyone. You got a big loving heart girl one of these days..........
Good to see you're moving on Anna. Yes life is for the living. You do have the best momento too a son. I brought his clothes to the Thrift store and all the pictures are in the album or in a drawer. I could not handle seeing him all the time. Not very conductive when dating again either.
I am very sorry for your loss. Pretty recent too I see. Do you have children? You mentioned anger. This was mentioned in this group. Angry for the one who "had the nerve" to leave the other alone. My sister went through this; Lot's of anger.
I am dating again, (not at the moment) and so should you. As you said he would have wanted you too. Besides you are much too young not to find love again.
Hi John wow that is a very long time you knew your love. There are no kids and no grave to visit. I scattered his ashes where he loved to bike a lot. Yes I talk to him too not a lot but I do. It is hard to explain it comes and goes. Please don't take this wrong but I almost envy you. If I remember it right you lost her due to illness. It gave you time to "say goodbye" I found my husband dead, it was totally unexpected. It leaves you with regret and guilt. Things left undone and things left unsaid. He was only 61 years old and what console's me is that his horrible pains are no more now.
Yes skin hunger I am sure we all have had this or still do. I did not want to get out of my bed at first but my cat needed attention and let me know it. It was a good thing I had Toby at the time. Would not sleep with me but would show up in the morning. I would open the bed and he would get in but no more than 5-10 minutes. Stupid cat, lol At this group were some old timer's who would take the newbies under their wings
He started a few months before he died to open the bed. Now when reading this in books how the maid would do this, I would think oh for goodness sake you can't do this for yourself? You know something? It was a most inviting gesture. I loved it!
Hi Drui well I suppose I am slow. It took me longer and also by surprise. I did not expect it at this time anymore. As you said we all grieve different. I had one guy in my life who held it agains me as I should have passed this stage some time ago. Maybe so, but I didn't so...........? Yes the fog I did not cry that much at first. Amazing how nature shields you at first.
There was at this group one lady called; Miss Candy. She caught my attention because she lost her husband the same day as I did mine. One day Miss Candy reported that she felt sooo guilty. Her late husband's best friend had stopped by, stayed the night, just holding her. The other women told her; "Oh Miss Candy please don't feel guilty, you just had skin hunger" Well Miss Candy must have had other hunger's too as we never heard from her again.
Having lost a spouse or child the principle is the same. I right away joined a group called Widows and Widower's. Amazing how fast most find this group. New comer's are greeted with; Sorry you're joining the club no one want to join.
At first you are in a fog. Yep! This last approx. one year, they said. NO! When the fog lifts you're feeling the pain worse. Yep! You know you're healing when you are remembering the good times. NO! Crap! Now the pain really starts! It has now been a little over three years and I have shed a lot of tears the last few weeks. Yep remembering soo many good things. I am okay now. They also said when you can remember the good times and not cry, then you're really on your way. So you see now I am really on my way.
My biggest problem is that I can Not find my match. No one feels they can handle me. I have said; okay if you can change this cat and then I hear; I don't want to change you so what to do? Forget about the boytoy I want a MAN
Subject: HOW IT'S DONE IN QUEENSLAND (JUST LOVE THIS)
No wonder some people were offended! (that’s what the header says, I think it’s great)
This is the message that staff of Queensland’s Maroochydore High School voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine .
This is the actual answering machine message for the school. This came about because they implemented
a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. .
The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to
passing grades - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did
not complete enough school work to pass their classes.
(Can I make a donation toward their court defense?????????????)
The outgoing message:_
Hello!
You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member,
please listen to all the options before making a selection:
To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press 2
To complain about what we do - Press 3
To swear at staff members - Press 4
To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7
To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8
To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
To complain about school lunches - Press 0
If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day! If you want this in another language, move to a country that speaks it.
When I was born I remember several people saying; She is just perfect. So I grow bigger and bigger and so did my being perfect. Where else could perfect have gone? Yeah right, if stays with you. The differents is that perfect was much more adorable back when I was born. It is now how can I get rid of perfect now? Being perfect never allows me to be bad and that is why perfect needs to go! I want to do baaaad things.
Mercedes1: I swear thats a dream for me and hey maybe I left it too late to concentrate on me as I devoted all of me to my sons .. As 1 of my sons plays in a famous N.R.L Cub here and Im still running down the sidelines as proud as punch
Mercedes you have built memories with your boys. That is prizzeless! The things you have done for them they will always remember and pass it on. Besides you could not stay away from one of their games anyway could you? I forgot to look how old you are but not even close to mine and hey I am still looking!
It would not hurt to tell your boys that you are more than a mam and would like to have a man in your life. Lol they will start networking for you! Nothing wrong with this picture. Really how does anyone know you would be interested? Tell them girl, tell them!
Thank you Shirley than was nice of you to say. Many others only read and never post. That is okay. My stories are on the web but NOT for sale. Several on CS have already read them or working on them right now. The short form is about 33 pages all of the stories about 80 pages. Talking or writing is the same to me, my stories read like I am talking I have been told. Bye the way Shirley for someone who is not that good at writing, you did very well in this post that is for sure! Not a letter wrong about what you wrote. Hey you may have a hidden talent.
Hello Woody just seeing you here reminds me of a gf who told me to take ten years of my age. DO IT. she wrote two days ago. Oh sure I could get away with that........Not! Lol I would have waaaaaaay to much too remember too. Last year someone in Mexico told me the same. I asked him then when do I tell the truth? Never, was his answer. Someone on CS knows someone who did not find out his wife's age until after she died!
Your love life still going strong Woody? Sure hope so you're a great guy.
I know Dawn so true but it makes it more difficult to have to lose that one. Not many like him around that is for sure. What helps me is too know he is no longer suffering for if one man sufferer he was the one. Excruciating pains that man had to go through and there is nothing I could do for him. When the reports came in, severeral doctor's were shocked.
Anyway I know his suffering in now over and that makes me very happy. It is that thought I try to keep in front of me. No more pain! It keeps me going!
What a differents a day makes or rather a night. I slept for many hours like a baby. When I don't get enough sleep I get cranky and cry easier. So I have caught up on my sleep and no more tears. Another thing I have found when I don't drink enough water I can get cranky too. So with lots of sleep and drinking enough water, I am ones again my loveable self. Hey, never throw yourself away, others will do this for you!
My blood type is a common one but for the same reason HB can no longer give blood. I thought to of donating bone marrow but again too old. I would prefer to give a kidney as having bone marrow removed is very very painful and I am not good at tolerating a lot of pain. It looks like only stemcells are left.??? I do believe that in the future a lot of body parts could be re-used. Like limps. Well at least I can leave my body to science after I am dead. See even when dead we can be good for something.
Am finally realizing that having had very little sleep in the last few days had brought on my moods. My husband would have seen this right away as when I would get cranky, he would send me to bed.
Discovered also that it can be not drinking enough water. I seldom get thirsty that is because you are really already de-hydrated. When I do start drinking water, frankly I feel like choking in it, don't like it, yet when I do force myself, I can drink glass after glass, and can then tell how much water I am needing.
hollandgirl Forum Posts (4,464)
Hello welcome to the forum.
Joining the "club" no one wants to join
Hi Sassy you too had your husband for a very long time 36 years.I see you two also were the "Bobsy Twins" did everything together.
How long ago did you lose your great love?
Will we ever find someone like that again?
I do believe it will be different as we can not ever "replace" what we lost. Nor can we compare either.
Yes grieving is different for everyone.
You got a big loving heart girl one of these days..........