It seems they find out soon enough. Actually, most of the men who have success in this, have friends that already did that jump. I guess they like what they saw, who knows?
Next time you talk to them, ask them about the culture of "choosing their man"...
I will hint here, that (speaking in the form her=Asian and him=westerner):
The man must have a secure background and education. He must be god fearing or similar, brand of faith is less important as long as he have faith in a greater force. He should be "kind" which translates to "show respect" and listen to her.
Love, in Asia, is something they grow into, more than we think of it; as something that strikes from a clear sky.
Thus, they have no problem finding a suitable husband over the internet or other agencies, as they first look at these basic ingredients.
Now, when they found it, they will grow to love him. Those cases where it went wrong, I will claim the foreigner (westerner) to be the main cause. Because she will be demanding from the first go, she is already having her mind set to create a happy family.
A culture far from our, but in many ways stronger because of this mindset; they do it just the same locally, as internationally, no difference - only that that the basic qualities of foreign men often stand out in comparison to the local “competition”.
If you do marry an Asian person you will have to find yourself on an Air plane there at least twice a year, because they will actually never really leave home and will move back at first possible chance (which normally occurs when they reach pension, if he behaves).
The economy in a family where she have been growing up in Asia, is often very well ordered and she cares for the savings and safety of both, she is often in a way pushy and makes him invest a greater effort in what he is doing professionally. She will care about his success and really be a part of it.
It is for the man to accept this as a good thing and when he does them will both be in the positive.
Very different from us here, but not at all bad; no they do not marry for money, but they do for sure make safe that he have the right credentials to build a financial secure family, a very different thing.
A clever question that would make people around laugh and him even more angry as he probably would not understand.
I am afraid that this kind of people do not really grasp the world as we want them too, and the only thing that so far did print into his mind was that slap.
1) I will be some kind of a father to a crazy kid 2) I will be working mostly from home using internet as my primary tool and other people to deliver service. 3) I will be in a Romania very different from today and a world from yesterday. 4) I will be living in a house paid by the government, decided by the government in a city decided by the government here. 5) I will be with the most wonderful woman there is in this or any other world. 6) I will have quit smoking and drinking all that coffee.
I should save this and be back to it in five years to see if it has happened.
Until people understand from where my wife comes and her "status" in this country, they will believe she married me to A) Leave Romania B) Have money C) whatever...
So, if she did not have money, education and such, she would have been seen as a wannabe...
Could this be the case everywhere?
If they are not equally off, then people will blame the poorer one for searching fortunes and not really have true intentions?
What I still can not get into my head is why we (a general "we" here) see it as lesser to stay home and take care of family full time?
Why is that? It is a great gift to the family and should not be looked down on. Sincerely, read the "thank you mom" threads around here and see how many adults are in great awe of their mothers for their sacrifice of foreign adventure or similar in favour of staying home with the kids. We should have learned by now, that it is one of the most important "jobs" you can ever have.
I only hope this will extend to future fathers doing the similar, as I still can not see why they should not, if she have a more demanding / fruitful / interesting career to pursuit.
RE: moderators ,,,
It is, but they get it on top of the posts so they can not see what is written. Not that good, really