druidess6308 Forum Posts (13,695)

What do you want in a relationship?

The highlighted part below is what I responded to, Lonelyrk. Read your own words again. And truly, it was just food for thought...that's the point of this whole thread.

What do you want in a relationship?

Ah, Anna...I miss all of that too. That part, I'd like to find again...though I have most of it with friends, it's not the same.

What do you want in a relationship?

OK, that's the person. Now describe the relationship, RK...and "I don't know", or "I'm not sure", are okay answers.

If nothing else, my aim was to make others think just like my friend did when she asked me that question regarding someone in my life right now.

What do you want in a relationship?

Only you can come into my thread and analyze me so accurately, my friend. And that's not why I started this.

But you're right...I believe my uncertainty stems from the fact that what I desire right now goes against my nature, and that what you described is what I need, a relationship that becomes increasingly deep over a period of time, because my innate self requires depth.

However, I believe that there can be space within that depth. What I truly need now is something different from anything I've had in the past, and with a slower start than there's been before.

Now, enough about me...on to everyone else. Take it and run, people.

What do you want in a relationship?

I believe right now, the values are close for me, J. I enjoy what I have now, but it's lonely at times too. But I don't want to feel oppressed either...I've been there...so I also enjoy some of the "freedoms" I have enough not to be in a hurry to lose them. Funny thing is, I'd prefer something like not having to cook meals on a schedule, but not having to eat them alone either. (And my dogs at my feet doesn't count. )

I guess for me at the moment, I'd like to ease into things in a new relationship, not jump into them. I need my space, and I'm accustomed to it now. I also give space well because of having my own need for it.

What do you want in a relationship?

Not what do you want in a partner, Ali, but in the relationship with that partner. What does marriage mean to you?

What do you want in a relationship?

That's a point I don't want to reach...and yet, though you say that, your username suggests otherwise. If you were happy being single, you wouldn't identify as "lonelyrk". So perhaps you truly would love to find that, but have given up on it, or still carry bitterness within you that makes you reject it even though you desire it. Food for thought.

What do you want in a relationship?

Owen, I agree with you about the fitting together like a puzzle. He also has to fit with my life as it is now, or care enough about himself to be heading there, and willing to join me the rest of the way...healthy in mind, body, and spirit. And yet, I'd like it to be someone who understands where I've been before this as well. Like you, I'm looking for someone, but not just anyone. He'll have to be very special.

I just hope it doesn't take me that long, my friend. And I hope you find yours soon.

RE: How do you measure the love that's left in your heart !!!!

Ditto, Anna. Nobody can take away the memories you have, and the fact that you once loved like that...nor the love you still have for him. But there is always room to love again once we've healed from the loss.

RE: How do you measure the love that's left in your heart !!!!

It depends on where you are in the process of healing. When my husband first died, I was in full denial, but definitely half empty for the first time in my life. A part of me had died too, and my identity as his wife and lover. I was lost and alone, and it hurt like hell.

A year later I finally started to grieve, and it hurt worse...I was more than half empty for a while, until the tears started to heal my pain.

Now, I'm full. I love my life, and am surrounded by a lot of love from good friends, my family, my sons, and my dogs. Life is wonderful, and I'm ready to live the rest of it.

It takes time to get through this process, and how much time depends on the individual. It took me almost two years.

As to being hurt by others before and after in my life, I've never been hateful. I just forgive and let it go...life's too short to dwell in negativity, and not all of any gender or race can be judged by one member of it and their actions.

What do you want in a relationship?

This was a question posed to me by a friend recently...and it was a good one. It actually made me pause, because the truth of the answer for me is, "I don't know at this time."

I know that eventually I'd like a true partnership, but right now I'm not sure what I want in my life. For the first time in over 20 years I have a life of my own, and I'm enjoying it. I don't have to ask anyone's permission to have friends over, or to buy something. I don't have to tell anyone where I'm going and when I'll be home. (And my dogs don't care...they react the same way whether I'm gone for a few minutes or a few hours.) I don't have to make meals at certain times, and can eat what I want when I want, and clean up when I want as well.

But I miss having loving arms to curl up in at night as I go to sleep, and frequent lovemaking with a person whose body I know well, and who knows mine well. I miss having someone to share the burdens with of running a house. And I miss having someone who does care where I am and what I'm doing because they care about me and my well-being. I'd like, eventually, to find someone with whom to share my life, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for that right now...and yet, I do know that I'd like to find a monogamous relationship with someone that such a life could happen in the future.

So, do you know what you truly want right now in a relationship, and what you want for the future?

RE: traditional medicine or alternative medicine?

Actually, the best thing to treat a super bug is flower essence therapy. Flower essences have the highest HZ and are the only effective treatment against those super bacteria created by the misuse of antibiotics.

RE: traditional medicine or alternative medicine?

Hara, I agree with much of your post. I'll say, though, that FDA approval doesn't mean much anymore when it comes to drugs because many are being approved with very little or no testing these days, and the side effects are only discovered in use. When it comes to treating cancer, the two most ineffective methods are the only two that are FDA approved, chemo and radiation. Nutrition therapy and herbal supplements, along with other "alternative" approaches depending on the type and location of the cancer, are much more effective. It's actually been proven in over 100 studies that chemo kills more than 40% of cancer patients. I do believe that in diagnosing a disease, and in treating acute injuries and conditions until a patient can stabilize, allopathic (traditional western) medicine has its place...for everything else, natural (alternative) medicine is better.

RE: Statements that make you go HUH?

I always loved this one: "Stop crying or I'll give you a reason to cry." (Yep, a mom quote.)

Good morning, everyone!

RE: Do you desire someone....

If I did, I wouldn't tell anyone.

How long does it take?

Sophie, I'm sorry to hear about your losses. That had to be really rough.

I actually found that it was just a moment, and not even really related to that, but to giving up someone else. I made the mistake of thinking it was regarding this because of the timing, but it wasn't.

The day of the anniversary of his death was a good day. I was aware of the date's significance, but didn't mourn. That evening I had a wonderful visit from him, and went to bed thinking of the man I'm dating afterward. I realized that I'm fine, I'm healed and moving on with my life. I want to thank everyone who commented so far, and Wonder for reviving this so that I saw some of those later comments since I haven't looked at it again.

Samhain is tomorrow, and I'm lighting our unity candle in the cave where we were handfasted the first time, and letting it burn all the way down since it can't hurt anything there left untended. (The cave is wet enough, with a floor of sand and rock only.) Blessings to all.

RE: Would you legalise Cannabis?

Your Titanic post did make me smile...but this one did not. My father is a retired pilot, and alcohol is legal, but they're not allowed to drink for a certain amount of hours before flying, or while flying. Any pilot that would get high too soon before flying a plane already does, or gets drunk before doing so now instead anyway. Trust me, those who do get caught and lose their jobs, thankfully.

Peace. (<---always fruit juice with me, btw)

RE: Do polls annoy you?

It depends on the poll. Stupidity, however, does annoy me...whether it's a poll, a pollster, a post, or a poster.

RE: Human~Unity!

Lack of sleep leads to posts like this, however, my friend! It's still something the human body needs occasionally.

And it's beyond sleep, what the body does when you're dead...but the spirit doesn't need it anymore at all.

Corrupt body, eh? Sounds like what was tormenting me before I drifted off last night.

RE: Would you legalise Cannabis?

I disagree that nothing is more dangerous than alcohol, but it is more dangerous than cannabis. Yes, I'd legalize it.

RE: Human~Unity!

And I'm looking forward to it. After all, we're not human beings on a spiritual journey, but rather spiritual beings on a human journey. Spirit is energy, and it will survive all that happens, so regardless, it's going to be an interesting journey.

Now go get some sleep, my friend. Major insomnia attack? (I hope that's all it is, and nothing more serious.)

RE: Friendship What Does It Mean To You????

Btw, dead on...especially the part about it being a two-way street. You have to give the same when it's needed in return, or it's not real friendship.

RE: Human~Unity!

We can't change anyone's mind, it has to come from within each of us, and this is supposed to be what's happening leading up to December 11, 2012...an evolution in consciousness of the entire human race, or at least the survivors. This is in many prophesies, not just the Mayan one, and I believe it's the message, though sadly twisted, of the Rapture as well. Those who can't make the shift in consciousness are believed to be dying off now in the rise of cancer, heart disease, etc...the rest of us who remain will make the leap in evolution. Time will tell if this is correct or not, and whether or not we can do it.

RE: Human~Unity!

Lee, I so agree with you on this. I feel that connectedness quite a bit, especially when I'm in the Medicine Wheel, or in the woods, or during group meditations where we reach out to it to heal us all...not just to nature, but to all who walk the Earth. To imagine everyone feeling that, and the love that comes with that connection, is my hope...and the only hope we have to save humanity.

Did anyone else here join in Hands Around the World? That was a powerful experience of unity, and we need to repeat it.

RE: Human~Unity!

We're not a failed experiment yet, GP.

We need to look to the wisdom of the Native Americans and other indigenous peoples, and learn to live together in harmony with each other and the land, rather than to operate from greed, ego, hatred, and lack of tolerance.

“Humanity cannot depend on evolution for its enlightenment. We just don’t have the time.” ~Brad Silberberg

RE: Human~Unity!

And yet, we need to do something, GP...if nothing changes, then we don't progress.

"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice." ~Rush

RE: Human~Unity!

There are a lot of people moving towards the goal of human unity, including religious groups like the Baha'i and Universal Unitarians. One planet, one people, one race...the human race. We all need to make this happen and start working together as a global village to save this planet we share, or we won't be here any more. Mother Earth will shake us off like fleas to restore Her balance if She must, and we will be a failed experiment.

RE: "For Dog's Sake"

I have about 5 years of study to go yet, I'm really only at the beginning...and yet, I've already learned a lot. Yes, I'll need a good bookkeeper because I already know I suck at the financial end of it. Thankfully I already have my office manager/bookkeeper lined up...having a best friend who's a Virgo and wants to work with you is a good thing! And yes, I can trust her completely too.

I've always had an interest in the health field, in being a healer, helping others, and a growing passion for herbs and alternative healing modalities that has turned into an obsession and a way of life now.

As to the dogs, it was 1/2 a day for each of us (p/t job), but yes, we were alone with them. Most doggy daycares only have one person at a time with the dogs, at least over here in the US. Are you a Gemini by chance, V? If not your sun sign, must be your ascendent...Gemini has to have many ventures going or they get bored.

RE: is it weakness to forgive?

Agreed, my friend.

RE: is it weakness to forgive?

No, a strong one. I do the same. I never forget, but I always forgive. And yes, even Buddha taught that those are different, and that one does not have to forget to forgive. A lesson is learned, and should be remembered, but the anger and hurt should be let go.

Blessings.