druidess6308 Forum Posts (13,695)

RE: Destiny of a Relationship

I agree that might be true for some. Online, you fall in love with what the person is portraying of themself, but you have no way to know for sure about how you feel until you meet in person. There have been many that feel apart at that point, as well as many that have succeeded at that point. Having been there twice, once that I actually did fall very much in love, I'm hesitant now to be anything more than friends with someone long distance. I'll save love for someone I can meet in person often, and truly date before moving further.

RE: Destiny of a Relationship

The ability to do this is why it's better to date someone local than across a great distance. It's hard to spend time in person with someone who lives far from you.

RE: Destiny of a Relationship

Agreed. The problem seems to be with two people who declare themselves to be in a relationship when they've also never met yet. The trust isn't established yet between them, and the relationship hasn't become real, so it's easy for others that they haven't met to break it up.

RE: Why do people put "dating" on their profile when they are looking for marriage?

Good one, Boban!

Though I wouldn't quite say that it's a secret. I put "long term" on mine to show that I am looking for something serious, but others might put "dating" because they don't want to turn others off, or because although marriage-minded, they want to go on dates for fun, too.

Anyway, I truly can't answer for others, only for myself.

RE: Why do people put "dating" on their profile when they are looking for marriage?

Best answer yet, SND.

RE: WOULD YOU LIKE A DATE to QUIT SMOKING?

Thank you, Goodfriend. I believe I can do it too. Mind over matter, and getting over my fears of this last lifestyle change.

I went from thinking I couldn't do one more so soon to wondering why couldn't I do one more now?

I'm figuring this first week is going to be the hardest, and that day two here is the worst day. After this, it's going to get easier.

RE: What have you experienced with a real kiss?

But is it the only way you kiss her, Mike? Somehow I doubt it. I can understand it occasionally as an affectionate gesture, but what you said about feeling protective goes back to what I said about fatherly feelings.

Chewing gum, eating parsley, and eating licorice are all ways to sweeten your breath.

RE: Oh how you have given me such delight

But you don't put salt on any of those. Actually, I don't put salt on any of them at all, but I still knew she meant tomatoes...it was the vine and the salt that gave it away.

RE: What have you experienced with a real kiss?

That he sees you as a child, perhaps? Feels fatherly affection only? Those would be my guess.

RE: What have you experienced with a real kiss?

I remember a real kiss once where it started to pour down rain on us and we just didn't care.

I've had kisses that curled my toes, and made me forget the rest of the world.

I haven't started to love someone with a simple kiss, but I've had that love that was growing deepen with it.

Some day, I'd like to be kissed like that again...the kind that when it ends, you feel like you're coming out of a daze as the world starts to come back into focus.

RE: Which is worse to be rejected or have to show rejection?

I have to agree with this, Babi.

RE: Getting married?

I've lived with every one of my husbands before marrying them. Maybe for me, it would be time to try something different.

RE: WOULD YOU LIKE A DATE to QUIT SMOKING?

For the next month, figure out what your triggers are and start divorcing yourself from them. For example:

If you light up first thing in the morning, take your shower first or do something first, then light up.

If you light up as soon as you get in the car, drive down the road for five minutes first, then light up.

If you light up right after you eat, do something else, wait at least five minutes, then light up.

Expand these times from 5 minutes, to 10, then 15, etc. It does make it easier to quit because you no longer associate these activities with smoking. The car was one of my worst, and I actually got to the point where I could drive to the store, shop, drive home...and leave my cigarettes here, and not have one until I got the groceries put away.

RE: WOULD YOU LIKE A DATE to QUIT SMOKING?

I've smoked for 31 years. I've tried the patches, but smoked anyway while I was on them, just less. Started using them just to cut down with a goal of quitting. Don't try that one. I finally developed an allergic reaction the last time I tried them, just as I was on my third day and doing pretty good.

So, now I'm on my second day cold turkey. I'm going nuts, I want one so bad. I'm hanging in here, knowing that if I can get through this first week, it will get easier and I'll feel better.

I'm just keeping myself busy, and I do something else when an urge strikes. Change to a different task to keep my mind and body occupied.

I discovered the worst trigger for me is a long phone call. It's the one thing I never thought about divorcing myself from when I was doing that.

RE: Today's thought...........

And sometimes we need to remember to make a new batch for ourselves while we're at it. If we don't, then there are old, dry crumbs in all of the other loaves we make.

Good one, Pat. I love the analogy.

RE: 2 of my friends have been suspended from here....

RE: 2 of my friends have been suspended from here....

Do so if you must, for it's your choice and your right, but usually the ones who get suspended, or even permanently banned, are troublemakers who attack others.

Occasionally we have something happen like somebody get permanently banned for defending themselves, but that's rare. It's only happened to a couple since I've been here, where the wrong person was banned and the wrong one left here on the site, IMO. Usually the bans are deserved. And if it's the two I think you're referring to, it was deserved, IMO.

RE: One I got in an email

I refuse to go through the do-it-yourself lanes on a matter of principle...to save the jobs of cashiers. We don't have many around here, and they're on a trial basis. Most of us here refuse to use them.

RE: How do you think...

So far, I'm hanging in there. Hope all is well with you today, too.

RE: One I got in an email

I love it!


I say "neither" and hand them my cloth bags.

RE: What should she do?

I agree, SND.

Honestly, we all make mistakes when we're young. She married for looks, not thinking really of what it would be like to live with such a man. Does that mean she should have to stay in such a loveless marriage and remain miserable for the rest of her life? How many of you answering that she should are divorced?!

She should do what she feels is best for her and the children, and her husband. Honestly, if she doesn't love him for who he is, he should also be allowed to find someone who will love him for him. And remaining in a miserable marriage will only make the children miserable.

RE: Is the primary purpose of couples to breed?

You made a very good point in this post, R!

Though I will point out that some younger parents have had another child to "replace" one that is lost. But overall, you're right. We seek to find another partner when one is lost for whatever reason, but not to replace a child, for we consider them to be irreplaceable.

RE: NEW kid on the block

Hi, and welcome to CS. If you're in doubt, reply that you want to get to know them on the site first. If you never hear from them again, they're a scammer or a jerk you really didn't want to know. If they do reply to you on the site, but mention working or going to school in Nigeria AT ALL they're a scammer. Just be careful out there. My "spidey-sense" goes off if they've shown interest in me and they're Christian, a non-smoker (when I smoked), and way younger than me, especially if they're also long distance for me. If it doesn't make sense, it's usually a scammer. The other red flag? Getting way too effusive about how beautiful you or your smile are and how they know they found their soul mate just from your picture/profile.

Hope that helped.

RE: How do you think...

I'm a mix of logical and emotional responses and thinking. My answers to why I think like I do have been found in my natal astrological chart, which has been unerringly accurate.

My outlook is neither totally "female" nor totally "male", but a blend of both. I grew up hanging out as "one of the guys", and having very few female friends. To this day, the women I get along with best are those who have a lot of male friends, or would be considered more "masculine" in their outlook toward life. I don't normally get along well with truly feminine women who wear make-up, dresses, and are all giggly.

RE: Is the primary purpose of couples to breed?

The thing you fail to address in your OP, my friend, is the fact that when the children are young this is true for both parents. The children do come first when they're young because they are completely dependent on their parents. Some families are then totally revolved around the children and their activities. Sports, dance, whatever it is, you have families that get totally involved as an entirety (especially sports), so that they themselves come behind the children, not just the other spouse. These are the couples who usually find that after 25 or 30 years of marriage and raising the children, suddenly they're married to a stranger.

Anyway...when we're younger, we anticipate getting married and raising a family. When we're older, we seek a mate who meets the needs we've discovered inside us. Our children are still important to us, they are the ones we labored so hard to bring forth into the world and cared for when they were so tiny. But a mate is now also important to us for who they are to us, not for creating children together.

RE: Dating Standards

Mine would be:

1) Is this man a non-Christian, with a Spiritual outlook and beliefs?

2) Does this man have a positive outlook no matter what life throws his way?

3) Is this man trying to live a healthier lifestyle including eating organic foods, almost a vegetarian diet, and exercising?

4) Does this man believe in living a holistic, natural, and eco-friendly life?

5) Would this man consider relocating and moving here if the relationship turns serious?

RE: Apostasy

Geo...we asked the same questions growing up. That's the first one I asked too..."if Cain and Able went out and married women from another land, where did those people come from?"

Try doing that in Catholic Sunday School, and then Catholic schools...the priests and nuns hated me. For 40 years I tried to find peace and answers within Christianity, and not just Catholic, but Methodist too, and it didn't work. Like you said, when I found Paganism, it all made sense...and it makes more sense every day.

RE: If you could visit anybody from these messageboards

There are so many here that I'd love to meet. Thankfully soon I'm supposed to get to meet some of them, which will be awesome. One friend is coming here just to hang out for a weekend and chat, one is making a short drive to visit someone else in the area and me, and another is coming in for a concert (which we'll both attend) in a local park and staying the night. In time, I hope to meet many from here.

RE: Who has inspired you the most in your life?

Vanity, your dad sounds like an amazing person, and I don't blame you for looking up to him like that.

The person who has inspired me most is Helen Keller. She faced tough odds with a winning spirit, curiosity, and determination. Being both deaf and blind didn't prevent her from going to Radcliffe University, learning to speak French fluently (which I still consider to be the most difficult language I've studied, and I can see and hear), traveled the world, and spoke publicly in English and in French.

RE: Mothers apart from their children.

So true, Sis.