Hey Buster--you asked "So, did I do wrong here?" You posted and told us your story and asked, so whatever responses you get are what you have asked for. (You seem to be defensive....and all we are doing is what you asked us to...)
I just read the entire thread--so, I agree with the members who pointed out the odd choice of taking someone you didn't know to an expensive restaurant on what appears to be a "first date". First dates are best made at coffee shops or beach-front food courts, where prices are manageable. Then, you have a fairer chance of getting to know one another, without cost being a factor. It's awkward to find oneself in an ordeal one has created--however, when she ordered the $200.00 meal it would have been completely fair to say, "sorry, I'm not paying that. And, sayonara......" and then LEAVE. The audacity to use another person like she did is well more than enough reason to abruptly end the date---no explanation, no anything. People need to do this, rather than pay a high bill and then the "date" wasn't any good, anyway...right?? At least save yourself some money. Anybody ordering a meal and drink at that price at someon else's expense is a USER. Dump them hard and fast.
The pre-meditated ruse of getting someone to let them use their address has been going on for awhile. Here's how it happens: A drifter makes a good enough acquaintance in a bar. They bar-pal for awhile. Then, the drifter tells the new 'friend' a believable story about needing an address to get a job. He or she falls for it, and later, the drifter shows up to "visit". He refuses to leave. The "friend" calls the police. They arrive, and the drifter says he can prove he lives there--shows them mail he has received at that address. The "friend' has to legally evict, which takes months.
It's related to "pathos"---an inconsequential view of one's actions. Think of the word "apathetic". Some folks glide through life using other people as stepping stones or ports in a storm, developing no real emotional connection. It occurs frequently, and often they are able to disguise it, as in passive-aggressive behavior and related negative personality traits--emotional blackmail comes to mind. And, I'm not too keen on "moving on and staying" , after discovering someone you love is, or has, cheated. They're going to do it again....
hate to break it to ya....folks, but it's the way it is....
You sound like a very kind and understanding person. For the record, I am all for business--I demanded and received a generous salary for my position--so I "get" it...However, housing falls into a category more associated with an absolute need of humans, (i.e. one does not 'need' costly clothes, cologne, trips to Europe, caviar, etc...but we all need shelter.) So, it is wrong to create a Utopia of only wealthy people getting to live comfortably.
First of all--I SO love my state for many reasons, and the approach to housing is not bad. Even with out-of-state landlords, the consequences for not keeping a property "up" are severe. Many owners, even of single houses or small complexes, hire a property management company which is local. They in turn become the landlords, and it is in their best interest to upgrade and keep things clean and pretty. Guess I'm very fortunate--I've been in my house for 16 years, it's a lease, but cooperative (rent is controlled to a specific percentage of income, but it is fair for all parties....). As I mentioned before, I believe that rent SHOULD be controlled. jmo...
Hold it hold it hold it. I believe some of the responders have misinterpreted my post. I do NOT receive PERS. I get regular social security plus a small PRIVATE pension that is far, far less than any PERS. My post was about a comedian who pointed out that HE pays into other retirees government PERS, yet cannot purchase it himself.. THAT'S the gist of the thread. Imagine going into a restaurant and having the waiter say, "You can't have anything here. But you can buy it for someone else". Get it now?
Oregon is in the process of setting limits on rent, and when and how a landlord can raise rents. Currently it is 10%, once yearly, and tenants cannot be evicted for the purpose of raising the rent--that is, if the tenant is following rules, paying on time, etc...Also, if one has been in the house/unit longer than 12 months, then they must be given a 90 day notice. Our governor is pushing for this to increase to 180 days. I'm all for it--I believe rent should be controlled, because if not, we become a society where only wealthy people can live indoors, and that is just not fair. If someone is doing a menial job, washing dishes in a diner, for instance, he is doing his part, and deserves a decent place to call home that he can afford.
Well, think about this: When people marry, let's say both are healthy and so on, they both take a vow to continue the union "in sickness and in health", so it is very likely that one will be disabled, sooner or later. But, to actually choose that from the beginning--well, people do fall in love. A woman in Oregon married a man who is blind--sometimes here you find a man who has lost fingers or even an arm (logging, mills) who finds a love with a completely able partner. I don't know if I would-----I couldn't say until the time came.
I would agree--So, I lived in both San Francisco and Portland. Both really cool cities (or, were...) and I made great money. I had a nice home in Portland, but noticed how spendy everything was. Everything everything everything--didn't matter too much because I had more than enough to cover it all. However, I retired with significantly less, but live in a rural area where it doesn't "cost" to go to the beach, antique shops much more affordable, and unlike cities, there's no "fee" to enter a park or most beaches, whereas, in cities and large towns, these often cost. So, I see what you are saying. I have less money, but here it goes farther. I'm a happy camper. And there is nothing, in my mind, more priceless than living at the beach. Thank you God!!!!
There's so many traits, etc...that are really in "The Twilight Zone", so to speak. I mean, I've known women who carry on about their "guy" not showing emotion, etc...but if and when he does or (Lord!) cries, then guess what? They don't like it and don't want him anymore. Many women seem to love and want "bad boys", but when the heats on, they're like, "Oh gosh, I didn''t KNOW...{poor me, I'm just a little naive lady who fell in love....feel sorry for me....etc....} they run through his dresser and pockets and wallet, but God help him if he touches their purse, and so on.......many variables in both gender relationships.......too much to write here.....
This got me thinking of a charity I decided to join/contribute to back in the 1990's. The foundation, advertised widely by a famous celebrity, asked for donors to "adopt" a needy child from various countries around the world. The cost was minimal, $19.00 a month then, and would provide "basic nutrition, housing, and schooling necessities for an impoverished youngster". I began the process, sent the first check, and received a picture, short letter from a girl, and a congratulatory letter from the foundation. The following month I paid again. In the third month, I got a wonderful letter telling me I was now the foundation's favorite patron. However, little "Mia" was going to have a birthday, and for just $5.00 more she could get a beautiful present. I sent it along with the $19.00. The next month, I sent the regular $19.00, and got a letter from the foundation thanking me, but they were surprised that I had not sent the $5.00 again, as I now was committed to $24.00 monthly, instead of $19.00. I wrote back, telling them I had not agreed to that; the $5.00 extra was sent one time for Mia's present. The following month, the bill was for $19.00. With a letter attached, telling me that there would be a school parade in the village, and the $19.00 was appreciated, but only provided very basic food, such as a ball of rice and very weak vegetable broth, and little Mia would be the only child in the village without a new dress for the parade, so could I please send another $9.00 for a new dress. I did. Following month, to cut to the chase, now her displaced cousins were going to be staying with Mia and her family, more money would be needed, etc....this went on for about a year and change---I dumped them. Got it?
I'm with ya, darls---you know, we ALL have the potential to become very, very angry, it's a human trait. No excuse for letting it get to the violent stage.....I agree with you 100%. But. I'm a medical professional, and have also done some social work, so, I would probably be decent to him if we met. I don't like to see any person or animal suffering in any way. I guarantee he is suffering....Karma takes no prisoners and coddles no favorites.....
Imprisoned athlete Oscar Pistorious is scheduled for parole on March 31st. (the board could decide to keep him in prison, but media in SA say that is not probable). Riva's family wants him to remain in prison; they lobbied for life behind bars with no possibility of parole...but in that nation they have no say...)Just wondering what CS folks think about this. I've long straddled the fence of feeling a little sorry for him, and when he was released the first time, he was filmed having a wild, non-chalant time of it....so, don't know what to think anymore.
Thanks for the info--(I know Tenmile and Tenmile Lake--btw--also, we have Tenmile Lakes, near Coos Bay, on 101..) yes, I'm very good friends with the folks who owned the coffee shop--sadly, he closed (someone bought the building and didn't want the existing businesses in there..) Scott Miller runs a wonderful pub...come to town and I'll get you a lunch or supper there....
post note--Pony Express did get as far as Sacramento, but the service stopped after only 18 months. A few years back, two men retraced the trail from Missouri, and to many folks' surprise, mail was delivered faster than it is now......progress.....what irony...
Hey, where ya been, neighbor? You know what--get to Brockway and I'll meet you for lunch at one of those cafes in the area--The old store sold, I heard, don't know what they're going to do with it...Brockway (now, part of Tenmile) was its own town, was going to be a Pony Express/Trading Post but PE stopped just shy of Boise, so we lost out...hope to get to meet you someday, since we are so close. Are you still being a bicycle mechanic for stores in Coos Bay?
online today!rohaan Forum Posts (10,498)
RE: First Date
Hey Buster--you asked "So, did I do wrong here?" You posted and told us your story and asked, so whatever responses you get are what you have asked for. (You seem to be defensive....and all we are doing is what you asked us to...)