Did you see the girl recently who got loads of stars tattooed to her face? Im not sure of the full story but she obviously regrets it now, I`ll post a link so u can see it
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other.
An 18 year old girl tells her Mother that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the pharmacy and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a E2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a E4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and E2,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You try again."
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.
The horse begged for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! The chicken ran back to the farm. He searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.
Running around, the chicken saw the farmer's new Z-3 series BMW. Finding the keys inside, the chicken sped off with a length of rope, hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.
Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive in the shiny BMW.
He managed to get a hold of the rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's car, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful car, rescued the horse!
Happy and proud, the chicken drove the BMW back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: best buddies, best pals.
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into the bog, and soon he too began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.
Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his "thing" and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.
The moral of the story? When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.
Bellysgonnagetya Forum Posts (1,267)
RE: Im off...
Funny how she posted that thread after i told her