Well the context is this can any relationship work for the long term if you do not put time or effort in. Or do others also think it will just magically work with no investment
Really want some opinions please. How much time should a couple spend together to have a successful relationship. Could a couple spend only one night a week together for 5/6 hours and have a real relationship. Could it work long term if that is the only time you have together.
I thank you for your understanding of the situation. I do feel the best thing for me to do is let him go on his own. He is not happy that I don't want to go and feels I am shallow for feeling I will not enjoy a trip that is all about history.
I know, I know it is the relationship that is out of balance.....in truth it has nothing to do with a trip, where to or who is paying....
I would agree with you on that. However I have just returned from a trip and it is not in my budget currently to go on another in fact only been back a week. We were talking about going elsewhere but he decided to go where he wants. Your right it is a gift, but a gift that comes with conditions that I do not like. It is a personal feeling and just wanted to get a clearer understanding in if I am correct in feeling that way.
That is how I have expired it and how when I go back to South Africa and most that I meet and speak to always say o your so lucky to be abroad in fact just came back from there was there for 9 weeks and all said the same. Yes many is well travelled but travel cost money and the fast majority will just not have the money to foot the bill. It is a very high exchange rate. Currently standing at 13.40 rand for 1 euro. Return air fair is 15000. plus. Not sure how long ago you have been there but most really struggle just to survive. Let alone going abroad. Yes there is a cross section in the top income group that can.
As for this trip I have been to both places and the feeling is that both parties should go to where they both would enjoy. I would rather not waste somebody else's money to go on a trip where I know I did not enjoy the 1st time round and for sure would not the next time.
I am came from South Africa and know how most from there would jump at the chance to abroad. It is not the norm to go abroad much. So yes she and others from there will jump at the chance. Not being mean or dismissive but know if somebody asked me 20 years ago yes I would have had the same response.
He as said asked me to go with him. I have been where he wants to go. I feel like most answered that we should decide together to go do something we will both enjoy. I poster the question to get a understanding on other take on it not just mine.
I mostly agree with you statement but want to ask you this is it a one way street where only one person has to compromise and the other party get all his needs met????When does giving into the other party and accepting them become a place where it is not getting what you need too.
Hence why I posted the question. He claims if he pays he choses and that is the end of that. I can make an effort to enjoy it after all it is his hard earned money. So it is his holiday.
You really made me laugh thank you for that. It is exactly how I feel he is into history and architecture, museums and old buildings....This is the plan going to Cairo for 7 days then Rome for 14. I was told I am shallow as I said I will not enjoy that. Seen Cairo did not like it much. Not my thing love Nature and animals. I am from Africa. So he booked it anyway. Although I asked please can we just talk about it first.
are in a relationship and your partner invites you on a holiday them footing the bill....
He/she decide where to go to and for the holiday, how long to go and what to do. Without regards to what you would like or enjoy. In fact the holiday is the polar opposite to what you would enjoy for a holiday.
Would you go or stay. Do you think even if the holiday is paid for by one party they are the only ones needs to be met????
That is how I feel he has replaced me very easily. The thing is I really feel and deep down know I deserve better that what he gave. I can not understand why it upsets me.
Actually I was refuting to myself and other my age ie. friend and family of MY age.
Clearly most replies understood my question......It has to do with how we should evolve as human beings and what we may settle/or not settle for at our age.
the older you get the harder it is to settle for what ever comes along???
Is it just me??? Can you settle for just anybody????? as long as it is company/would you rather be on your own then being with a person that does not fulfil you in any way????
I really can not I would rather be on my own......
I lived there all/most of my life and I had a traffic incident once and addressed the judge as your honor..... Have been away for 11 years now it seems it has changed lord knows why......But I guess it is the way the government now wants it to be. Find it rather silly myself.
I find many facts about this case rather weird to say the least. Why would she have taken her mob with her??? Why would she never have answered at all???? But this is what I have the biggest issue with why the hell would he have wanted to kill her.
By all accounts he was very much in love with her. Even if we agree he was jealous cos she was texting others....or they have this really an intense argument... why would she not have left????? Motive is essential to every murder case, what in the world could have been his motive.....I do have to say I am absolutely fasinated by the law and even the OJ Simpson case I never missed a moment of. It was very clear, then through with him, he would have gotten away with it as indeed he did....This one I just can not call at all.
MMMMMMMMM that is his defence he did not have time to think he just reacted.......Who can say fro sure what you/anybody will do in any given situation.
josingleinspain Forum Posts (430)
Time.........
Well the context is this can any relationship work for the long term if you do not put time or effort in. Or do others also think it will just magically work with no investment