Take the ferry from Brindisi to Patras, take the main road down from Patras, down towards and past the Corinth Canal, continue on to the Attiki Odos, take the exit for Kifissias Avenue, head towards the city center, turn right at Plateia Mavili, and I am in the building just behind and slightly next to the Athinaiki Kliniki. Piece of cake.
There's a big difference between playful banter and being a player, and I doubt that anyone here would put you in the category of player....I know I certainly wouldn't, based on what I know of you up til now. The earlier post about keeping one's options open and always looking for something else summed it up pretty well...and players generally do that on the sly, while professing their affection and possibly some sort of commitment to another. A player generally likes the hunt more than the capture, but still must have a capture in his lair. He doesn't want to be without someone, but he can't be with just one. You banter, you tease, you flirt, and so do many of us.... myself included. But distance is a real issue and so we are often hesitant (understandably so) to try to take it further. Carry on as you are, English...keep playing as you do, for you're not a player. In fact, you can play with me anytime you like! (Now, how's THAT for playing??)
And, now that you made me remember it, and now that I've listened to it, I think the lyrics are worth sharing. The last 3 paragraphs (stanzas, I guess) say it all:
The Fire Inside
There's a hard moon risin' on the streets tonight There's a reckless feeling in your heart as you head out tonight Through the concrete canyons to the midtown light Where the latest neon promises are burning bright
Past the open windows on the darker streets Where unseen angry voices flash and children cry Past the phony posers with their worn out lines The tired new money dressed to the nines The low life dealers with their bad designs And the dilettantes with their open minds
You're out on the town, safe in the crowd Ready to go for the ride Searching the eyes, looking for clues There's no way you can hide The fire inside
Well you've been to the clubs and the discotheques Where they deal one another from the bottom of a deck of promises Where the cautious loners and emotional wrecks Do an acting stretch as a way to hide the obvious And the lights go down and they dance real close And for one brief instant they pretend they're safe and warm
Then the beat gets louder and the mood is gone The darkness scatters as the lights flash on They hold one another just a little too long And they move apart and then move on
On to the street, on to the next Safe in the knowledge that they tried Faking the smile, hiding the pain Never satisfied The fire inside Fire inside
Now the hour is late and he thinks you're asleep You listen to him dress and you listen to him leave Like you knew he would You hear his car pull away in the street Then you move to the door and you lock it when He's gone for good
Then you walk to the window and stare at the moon Riding high and lonesome through a starlit sky And it comes to you how it all slips away Youth and beauty are gone one day No matter what you dream or feel or say It ends in dust and disarray
Like wind on the plains, sand through the glass Waves rolling in with the tide Dreams die hard and we watch them erode But we cannot be denied The fire inside
I have to say that you're grossly mistaken in thinking that women aren't used to being rejected. That is what you believe from your perspective as a man, but as a woman, I can say that you're incorrect. My pictures are a true representation of how I look; some are as recent as this month. And I HAVE gone out on some dates with men where there simply was no chemistry; it had nothing to do with appearances. One man walked me home, kissed me goodnight outside of my apartment, said he was going to be whistling and smiling all the way home, and I never heard from him again. I sent him a message about a week later, simply saying "From whistling to silence...." and he did respond to my message, saying that he just didn't feel any true chemistry. That was fine with me because it was honest. Frankly, I didn't feel much in the way of chemistry either, but the jury was still out and I would have gone out with him again if he had asked. But the fact that he didn't want to go out again was no big deal to me. There are others with whom the chemistry is amazing...this is what dating and connecting with others is all about. It can't work with everyone. We all should know and accept this.
I'm with BofA and I live overseas, so I hadn't heard about this yet. Is this a combined total of all assets that you are referring to, or will there be fees if just your checking account is under $5000? I have money with Bank of America in different accounts, but my checking account is generally under $5000, as I move money around. Please let me know. Thanks!
I'm not one who bumps threads just for the sake of bringing them back up. I do, however, want to respond to those who ask questions that I don't see until later on. Thank you for your reply. It was exactly what you pointed out that told me I had to end it....I did not see him as my forever man, my Mr. Right, when I closed my eyes. Had we been close in age, he would indeed have been Mr. Right for me, but this wasn't the reality. And this is why I ended it...or, as Jan said, why I chose not to prolong it. Thank you all for your posts. They do help, each in their own way. Now, I just want to move forward and I am doing the best I can to do just that. No, I'm not going to try to get over one man by getting under another, as the saying goes. I just want to gain myself back. I want to smile and laugh and feel carefree again. I will, I know this. Day by day, I will get ME back again. If others write more, I likely will not respond to this thread again...it's time to put it to rest. Thanks, everyone.
Well, Ambrose, you're being direct, as always, and so shall I be. What I hoped to gain was, I suppose, a bit of joy in an otherwise routine existence. I hoped to gain the company of a man who really cared about me, which was evident early on. I hoped to gain something that many people enjoy in life that I've been craving. I hoped to gain the laughter of a shared private joke, a wink now and then, phone calls in the evenings when we weren't together, weekend plans being made, someone to want to cook a meal for....I could go on and on. Yes, I know what your point is and I know what you are asking me, but you have someone in your life, have had for awhile, and haven't been without someone special to care for in a long time. Do you even remember what it feels like to be alone for a long time? You've known me here for quite some time now and you know I've had relationships that haven't worked out for me, but this one really hit me hard. I realized today that I haven't had this gut-wrenching feeling for over 10 years, and this is because I haven't cared so deeply in all this time. It wasn't just a matter of filling a void; it turned out that there was so much more. If you're hungry and you need protein and vegetables and fruits, but someone offers you a big piece of cheesecake....even though you know it's not the best thing for you...wouldn't you go for it? I was hungry, J. I still am, but I ate the cheesecake and it felt damned good at the time. Now I've just got a stomach ache.
The only other way to answer your question is to say that I hoped to gain great sorrow and a renewed sense of loss and emptiness. But do you really think this is the case?
Had I made a move for him...seeing him and honing in and flirting and going after him, I could see why you would question this. But this wasn't the case. It was simply 2 people who ended up next to each other one evening, having known each other only very slightly up until then, and in our immediate proximity, we talked. For hours. I didn't see the relationship, it just happened. It evolved, it developed, and it wasn't planned obsolescence...or even planned at all. It was a journey that I took when I just happened upon a road I hadn't intended to be on. Once on that road, the ride was glorious (no pun intended), but I had to get back on the right path before I got lost.
Yes, I'm a bit melancholy lately, as previously discussed on another thread. When I get this way, I write...it's my catharsis. All will be well soon enough, I know. This is just a reflection of NOW, not of every tomorrow.
Heartache
Get out of my life. You’re not welcome and I want you to leave. I didn’t invite you in, yet you pranced in as if you owned the place. This place is MINE…this should be my solace and you’ve turned it into a battleground; a playroom for you, a well of despair for me. You’ve been here before and I kicked you out; rest assured I will again. But I’m not as strong now as I once was, and the fight is taking every bit of my strength. Every time I open a door or a window, it seems you find your way back in again. I don’t want to board up my windows, for I need the sun. I don’t want to lock all doors, for I need company. Can’t you just leave me the hell alone? What is it about me that keeps attracting your attention? Is it a weakness that entices you, or is it that you simply want to hurt me? What have I ever done to you to make you want to do this to me? I’m going to win this fight, you know. You won’t get the better of me, for if you do I will lose a part of me that I don’t want to ever let go. You won’t take away my ability to love, I won’t allow it. You won’t rob me of the possibility of being loved. I’m here, you’ve found me, you’re toying with me, and you’re taunting me, but I am gathering up my ammunition and I will come at you with everything I have. I will rip you to shreds in good time. For now, I just implore you to leave peacefully and never return. If you refuse, I promise you this…. I WILL fight, I WILL win, and I WILL thrive again. I just need some time to prepare for the fight.
I've read the responses that came in while I was sleeping....or, attempting to sleep. Some wonder why I ended it when it was going so well...others understand completely. Ending it now has made me miserable...I ate nothing all day yesterday and have no appetite for anything yet today; I cried on and off for hours and every time I awoke during the night. Had I continued to see him, I would go through this eventually (there is no doubt, for the age difference and life circumstances are really too much to overcome), but I believe it would have been even worse than it is now. I saw two options: Hurt now or hurt later. I chose to take it now and to hopefully start the healing process soon. Not everyone will understand this, but this was what I felt I needed to do. It doesn't make it less painful in the least; it just gets it over with sooner than it was destined to be. As for him, he was a bit surprised, but he gets it, too. He felt much like I did...it was such a shame that we were not closer in age. And to those who say age is not important, I would have to disagree a bit. Two people can love each other with years between them, but I had to ask myself if there was potential for a future, and I knew inside that there was not. He knew as well. It's that simple, and yet that complicated and painful.
Writing this to all of you is a bit of a catharsis for me. I don't mean to ramble on and bore you, nor am I seeking sympathy. Writing is my passion and it is my way of releasing my burdens and my feelings, when there is nobody nearby to release them to. I hope you understand.
Thanks to you and to all. Yes, I do feel like a fool, but I also feel like the woman that I am, with the ability to love and give my all to a man...to the right man. I feel like a fool because I should never have let myself get involved with him because it had a built-in expiration date. It's just that I chose when that date came. Had I continued, I would have led myself to a bigger and harder fall. As it is right now, tears and some hyperventilating are all I have to contend with. Down the road a bit, I could have gone a lot deeper in the tunnel of "woe is me" and that scared me. I went through a period of depression when I divorced almost 10 years ago, couldn't eat or sleep, lost 30 pounds in 6 weeks, etc. I didn't want to go down that path again. When I love, I love hard. And when I fall, I fall hard. It seems that, these days, I just try to maintain my balance and not let myself fall.
I met him in "real life", as they say....he was not a cyber connection, but flesh and blood and I could (and did) touch him. We dated...we didn't just have steamy rolls in the sack. We went to concerts and dinners and out with friends and watched tv and went for drives to the sea. It was real and not just a fling. How deep did things go? Suffice it to say that it was a full and complete relationship in every sense of the word.
You quoted Markizamkd25, but you said "you're a long time dead." I'm not sure if you meant your comment for her or for me, but I'll answer your question, anyway... Was I afraid to be happy? Not in the least. I was afraid of plummeting and not being able to climb back up again.
He was just too young for me. Yet I fell for him and found myself becoming more and more crazy about him. Love??? How the hell do I know. I only know that I adored him. So I ended it.
Damn, it hurts like hell.
It was probably the smart thing to do, but emotionally I am a wreck right now.
DON'T make such a life-altering decision based on a bunch of strangers' input! You must decide this for yourself, for your goals in life, and knowing that you may end up in a place that will wipe that life away. Choose your path according to what you believe, according to what you want to achieve, and according to the path you want to pursue. But, by all means, do NOT choose your path in life according to what I say or what others here say. This tells me that you are not ready to take such a step in your life. You take life-altering steps only when they feel right for YOU, not according to what any a**hole (including myself) says to you.
Gotta agree here. Why the distinction? All are welcome, all are invited...why look for a particular group or ethnicity or religion or gender or... well, why the distinction?
Thalassa Forum Posts (2,410)
RE: Playing or a "Player"
Well, probably at about 9pm....tomorrow night. It's gonna take you a little time, with the ferry and all.Must go earn my living now. Have fun playing!