I have several pics of him scattered around my apartment. I debated putting them away, but I am actually using them as a bit of a barometer of how I'm doing without him now. At first, it was hard to look at them. Now I walk by, look at a pic of him, and I feel at peace and I even feel some joy from the memories; the pain is a lot less. The pictures have helped me to know that I'm healing. If I had someone new in my life, however, I would put them away.
I'm not sure what you said in the past that got you banned, but I doubt it was just based on "voicing your opinion." There are ways to do that, here and in real life. My guess would be that it was the manner with which you voiced your opinion. Debate with reason and thought...intelligent debate....seldom (if ever) gets one banned. But this is what we tend to lack so often in the forums. Reason and intelligent thought get tossed aside and childish attacks become personal. Hiding behind a keyboard (which we ALL do, including myself, because this is the medium we employ to communicate here) gives many here a freedom to say things that they would never say face-to-face.
There needs to be a litmus test. We should simply ask ourselves, before posting anything, if we would comfortably say the same things face-to-face. Chances are that if the answer is yes, we probably would not be banned. By the same token, I ask myself how I would feel if my sons read something I posted here. Consequently, I don't answer personal questions about my "private parts", I don't discuss what I do or do not do in bed with a man, and I don't inform the world how many lovers I've had, etc.
Bottom line....we should think before we post. All of us. Though just words on a screen, there is tremendous power in words, good and bad. Words can uplift and heal a friend in pain, they can educate, they can bring laughter, and they can bring tears and hurt.
THIS, sir, is my opinion. I doubt I'll be banned because of it.
I admit I haven't read all 5 pages of comments, but did read many. If I am repeating something already said, however, please forgive me.
What short memories people have! The news of March 12th (just 9 days ago) was:
Arab League Asks United Nations for No-Fly Zone on Libya, Egypt TV Reports
Yet, the western world is at fault, once again. Some say that we waited too long, others say we shouldn't be there at all. But, under the rules of a no fly zone, called by the United Nations and mandated under the resolution, the following applies:
Once the zone is designated, either by UN Security Council resolution, which makes it legal under international law, or because the great powers impose it, it must be enforced.
It must be enforced. And so we are doing just that.
He didn't tear me apart; losing him did. He's a wonderful man and I bear him no blame, fault, ill-will, etc. He had his reason to end it, and I even know it was the most logical decision. But, still, I'm most definitely heartbroken. But I'm getting through the tunnel, bit by bit.
It's around 7am here now, I've showered and soon will get ready to go to work, but I wanted to answer a couple of comments before I go. First, it certainly is NOT a matter of me not liking the men overseas. Not in the least. My last love was a Greek man and it will take me some time yet to get over losing him. I would have been willing to make the life changes, the career changes...I would have given up a lot to be with him, but it just didn't work out as my fairy-tale mind had hoped. Money was not a factor, and I am not truly putting a price on love. But we all do have to consider financial aspects in our decision-making, when we are contemplating major changes in our lives. I didn't reach this dilemma suddenly...it's been 8 years in the making. And I have seen the same situation with many of my single woman friends. Statistically, in my line of work, the single women remain single. The men in my job can find foreign-born women who are willing to give up their lives as they've known them and move on with a man; it doesn't work the same in reverse very often at all. And I'm not even seeking marriage as an ultimate goal, but I do want a partner in my life. So I ask myself....given what I've seen, what I've experienced, and knowing the statistics as I do.... Why stay abroad for the rest of my career? For the money? I'm NOT money-hungry, that's for sure; I just want to be able to take care of myself in the years to come. Because, again....there are no guarantees anywhere. Must get ready for work now. Cheers, all.
It's complicated, for a number of reasons. My job (which, in and of itself, I quite enjoy) has some inherent hurdles that are difficult to cross. I've been here in Cyprus for 6 months. I'm newly out of a relationship and I admittedly am not ready just yet to dive back in. But, let's say that I am ready to date again 6 months from now. Then, it may be a number of additional months before I meet someone that I enjoy being with (if that happens at all). Hypothetically, we spend time getting to know each other and enjoying dating for a year or so. Well, with my job, by this point I would be preparing for departure in the coming year. And then we are forced into life-changing decisions. Does he come with me? (Not usually likely for a man to give up his job and follow the woman with hers) Do I quit my job and stay with him? (That would be a huge decision and I would not make it lightly) Anyway, it's complicated, as I said.
True, but I'm also a believer that sometimes we have to take steps to make things happen and not just wait and see if things will turn out as we hope. I'm pretty certain that Mr. Right isn't going to come knocking on my door (good thing, too, as I'm in my jammies and not wearing any makeup! )
I have been living abroad for 8 years now (4 countries during that time) and I am now dealing with a real dilemma. Because of the type of work I do, I fare better financially living overseas than I would if I decided to go back to the U.S. to work. After years of being able to save very little while I raised my sons and put them through school, I am now saving money and doing the best I can to prepare for my eventual retirement. Financially, I should stay overseas until I retire.
But I want a relationship. Hell, not just "a relationship"...I want to love and be loved and I'm not reticent to admit that. And although I have had relationships overseas, I believe that my best chance to find someone for the long haul would be if I returned to the States.
So, I am torn. I know there are no guarantees that I will find what I want back home, either, but I feel that the chances would be greater than if I remained overseas. And I'm not getting any younger!
At what price, though? If I go back home, I'll have more expenses and will not be able to save as well as I am doing now. And if I stay abroad for financial reasons, I believe that finding love is extremely unlikely.
I don't have to make an immediate decision and ultimately the decision will come from me, but out of curiosity....what are YOUR thoughts? Given the choice, would you be more willing to give up on love or give up some of your financial security (not all of it, of course)?
And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.
No! That’s not for you! Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.
I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.
All Alone! Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.
But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)
Kid, you’ll move mountains! So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So…get on your way!
Oh! The Places You’ll Go! by the incomparable Dr. Seuss
Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.
And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights! You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t. Because, sometimes, you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.
You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.
Thalassa Forum Posts (2,410)
RE: i am such a loser
Happy to scam you, if you wish!