I don't go to bars by myself; it just doesn't feel right to me and I think it comes across as if I have a big neon sign hanging around my neck, saying "I'm here to pick up or be picked up." Having said that, when I am in Greece (where I used to live and will again soon), there is a small little neighborhood bar close to where I work and live and I go there with a friend or two about once a week, generally after work, to catch up on things and just enjoy spending some time together. She and I have come to know the bartenders and owners and feel very relaxed and at home there. But the nightlife in Greece starts quite late, so we are usually out of there before the crowds spill in. I would feel ok going there by myelf if the mood struck because of my comfort level with the folks that work there; but I don't go alone, because I want the conversation with my friend.
At this moment, I am listening to Greek music...Giorgos Dalaras. Certainly not something many would enjoy, but I thoroughly do. And listening to the music helps me with my efforts with the language.
Every relationship would certainly be different, unless you are continuously dating or marrying the same person over and over. If you're not living the "Groundhog Day" experience, then each new partner is going to bring something new to the table. However, if we find that we're always drawn to the same type of person...a "bad boy", a high-maintenance woman (if you're a man), or if some other common trait keeps drawing us in, then maybe we aren't evolving enough and it's possible that what made the last relationship fall apart will do the same with the next. As they say, the only common denominator in all of your relationships is YOU (not you, personally, Cristina, as this is true with all of us), so it's up to us to look at our patterns and see if maybe we need to open up new possibilites for ourselves.
I'm blessed with being able to live a life of adventures and new experiences all the time...at least, since I joined the foreign service. My life just keeps getting better and better and more fascinating all the time, and for this I know that I am quite fortunate. As for 10 years from now...likely in another country (as yet unknown), having lived in 2 or 3 others in the 10-year span. Now, if I should find my SOULMATE, this would be icing to an already-rich cake. Then, I might actually stop moving and stay put somewhere. Who knows? Time will tell. Until this happens, I am still amazingly blessed and happy with my life.
Intriguing and oh, so enjoyable to watch! And, actually, a frappé is no more fattening than many other "designer" coffees. It's coffee (actually, it starts with Nescafé, because it has a quality that makes it very frothy when blended with a little bit of water and some sugar)...anyway, you start with the coffee, add a little water and sugar, blend it with a good, stick-shaped blender, then add more water and some milk (low-fat milk is fine), add some ice cubes, and VOILA! As for Dimitri, he's just the visual bonus! Have to get dressed and ready for work now, so must run. It's Saturday, but still another work day for me. Aaaarrrggghhh. Seeya!
My favorite coffee is not a brand, but a method of preparation. I get this style of coffee in Europe; it's called a frappé, and it's thick and rich and frothy and yummy. My favority coffee maker is named Dimitri!
I don't mind chatting with younger men, but I am a realist and I often wonder what is the younger man seeking? If he is searching for a relationship, how likely is it that there is enough common ground between the two to have a real relationship? Yes, I know that some are able to make it work, but I think that the odds are generally against it. If he is simply wanting the "older woman experience" and wants to check off that box on his list (older woman, 2 women--preferably twins, different ethnicity, etc.), then I wish him well and happy hunting, but I seek something more. And, as a woman who has already raised children into adulthood, I would not want to ever stand in the way of a man having the same opportunity. Any young man who wants to eventually marry and have children should have that. My sons are my greatest joy in my life and I wouldn't dream of denying that joy to anyone. Having said that, I do have a number of male friends who are quite a bit younger than me, so chatting and communicating is not a problem for me. Dating, however, is another story.
Yes, when it comes to basic characteristics and qualities, we are indeed looking for the same things....honesty, integrity, compassion, passion, intelligence, sense of humor, etc. What makes a connection...or doesn't...comes from somewhere else, I guess. Something less easy to define...all of the above plus a certain spark. Ahhh, well...it's late, I'm rambling now, I've told a new friend of mine at least a couple of times now that I must go to sleep and I'm still online! I'll hate myself in the morning. Goodnight!
Yes, honesty is the best policy always. I do wonder about one thing you wrote, though. You mention telling a woman about past experiences and that you get taken advantage of. I am just wondering (I don't know you, obviously, so I may just be misinterpreting what you wrote)...I wonder if when you talk about being taken advantage of, maybe you say too much and you come across as bitter towards women. Don't take offense...I could be wrong, but this part stood out to me, as a woman. Whenever a man tells me about past relationships and makes the women sound so bad and makes himself sound so used (taken advantage of), it usually comes across to me as bitterness and it sends up some red flags to me, too. So...while your honesty is still the best policy, I would recommend toning it down to something more like this..."My last relationship just didn't work out; we weren't ultimately compatible and so we moved on." I wouldn't go into details about how she used you or anything like that. These are just my thoughts, for what they are worth. Good luck, though.
Alleged upcoming Halloween party? Guess I haven't read the thread you must be referring to. The Phantom....never saw the original movie, but saw the Andrew Lloyd Weber stage production 3 times and absolutely love the music. Especially "All I ask of You." Beautiful song.
Wouldn't it be funny if each evening Fallingman has a new look? Like, glasses one night, a moustache the next, bald one night, goatee and a pipe in his mouth the next??
hehe Yes, I know that YOU know what my reasoning was behind booking the hotel room. Good chuckle, though. Oh, and that reminds me... In order to REALLY ensure a good weekend for myself, I treated myself to an upscale hotel room overlooking the sea, went to the spa for a pedicure and a massage, and splurged a bit on pampering extras. It made the weekend even more memorable.
Yes, great idea...but have a Plan B (and, yes, I would say this). Plan B should be that you are coming to meet me because you (1) want to meet me, but also (2) want to take a trip, anyway, and hopefully you want to see something of the city that I live in. In other words, I would feel really bad if someone came to meet me and we simply didn't hit it off...regardless of whether we both felt no spark or it was only one of us. I would feel bad that the man spent the money and the time and the trip was a complete waste of both. Hopefully, he would have a desire to get out and do things and be able to leave with some positive and memorable experience. In any event, I certainly wouldn't recommend a visit without spending a good amount of time getting to know the person...even from a distance...first. I have made such a trip, myself. It was by car (a 5 hour drive, so not so terribly far), but I was planning to go to the city where he lived one day, anyway, so it just seemed to fit. I booked a hotel room and set out on my trip. It turned out to be a wonderful weekend...not a love connection, but we became close as friends and still communicate on a fairly regular basis.
You just pointed out that I can still be pretty naive (or blind) sometimes...I never even thought of the term "baggage" to mean "children." I guess that's because I would never think of children as baggage, but I guess there may be some who do.
Then they're not moving forward and will forever "mis-connect"...rather a "terminal" hell, unable to "lift off" for new adventures because they never managed to "disembark" from their past.
Sites are just another option. Not necessarily the RIGHT place, but nothing wrong about them, either. And, what would otherwise be the RIGHT place? A bar? At work? In the grocery store? I'd rather see if I can make a connection from online than at work, for example, because if things don't go well, you still have to see the person day in and day out, and that can be uncomfortable. Anyway...they're just another option.
I see it written often and it really drives me bonkers... "Please, no baggage." Baggage. What is this, really, if not just life's experiences. I come with baggage...overstuffed, busting at the seams, must pay extra to check it on the airplane kind of baggage. But I have schlepped it around and I take what I need from it when I need it, put it away when I don't need it, carry it without burdening others. It's my history...my life....my experiences. Some bad, but more good. I carry the bad with me so as to continue to learn and evolve and serve as a reminder of my own mistakes, not just those of others. And I carry the good because these are the things that have made me a better person, a stronger person, a happier person. Life is baggage...we all have it. It's just that we need to know how to carry it. My 2 cents. Anyone else care to "weigh in" here?
Off to work now. Another chilly morning in Kabul...the sky is a lovely shade of brown, the air is ripe with the smells of...well, never mind. Later, all.
I have to also say "my laptop." I'm currently in Afghanistan and can't go anywhere, certainly can't drive, work long hours, seldom watch t.v....so, my laptop is my major source of entertaiment in my post-work hours (or, pre-work, as is the case right now) and my means of communicating with family and friends back home. I can order things online (either other material possessions or even non-perishable foods), play games, learn, and have immediate interaction with people. Yep...couldn't do without my laptop!
If I was STRANDED on a DESERTED island, that would be one thing...but, since you asked "If you were LOST on a PARADISE island, which 3 things would you want to have with you?", I would have to say:
A top-of-the-line GPS A good pair of walking shoes and a backpack with clothes and food already inside
Then I'd just use the GPS and start walking my way to the paradise part of the island! No doubt I would find it full of gorgeous men who haven't seen a woman in years!! (That's paradise, right???)
Thalassa Forum Posts (2,410)
RE: girls andbars
I don't go to bars by myself; it just doesn't feel right to me and I think it comes across as if I have a big neon sign hanging around my neck, saying "I'm here to pick up or be picked up." Having said that, when I am in Greece (where I used to live and will again soon), there is a small little neighborhood bar close to where I work and live and I go there with a friend or two about once a week, generally after work, to catch up on things and just enjoy spending some time together. She and I have come to know the bartenders and owners and feel very relaxed and at home there. But the nightlife in Greece starts quite late, so we are usually out of there before the crowds spill in. I would feel ok going there by myelf if the mood struck because of my comfort level with the folks that work there; but I don't go alone, because I want the conversation with my friend.