On another thread a member made a comment about "civil society"...and I guess that is what we all strive for, as well as turning out our children so that they understand the "rules" for a civil society...
But where did those "rules" come from...who made them up...who breaks them...and why?
And do the "punishments" fit for those who do not follow the "rules"?
As a matter of fact Don, just last night i spoke with their father and told him that was exactly what i was going to do if things didn't change...just stop doing all the things that i do for them.
I will make sure there is food in the house, but i won't be cooking for them, they can do their own laundry and they can pick up their things...or not...all up to them...I will close their bedroom door and let them live in that pig sty they call a bedroom if that is what they want...
But i'll tell you Don...It will sadden me very much. I wanted to be a good parent...It was why i left their father and struck out on my own..I have always busted my hump to work and maintain a home (i'm not a clean freak, but i do like a clean house)...so it upsets me very much to see the house I worked so hard to provide for them become a hovel and to have to resort to these measures to get my children to help me so that i don't feel so overworked and tired all the time....
I like that "M is for Mom not for Maid"....I LIKE THAT
Ange I really resent that my ex (and his girlfriend) are so proud to go out with the girls because they are so well behaved and respectful...they are also brilliant, and they love to spout off at their accomplishments to their friends and family (remember my oldest daughter graduated valedictorian this past year)... He is not getting that i am resentful because its my hard work, my sleepless nights and rivers of tears that are going into keeping those girls line...and he is not being helpful by offering a "playhouse" to them every other weekend! His "give it a few days it'll blow over" is part of the problem, not part of the solution....he doesn't get that nothing gets resolved unless it is dealt with... I also know that if they visit him during the week for supper, if they get into sibling fights...he puts them in the car and drops them home here for me to handle....
My biggest issue with them right now is that they feel that they should have no chores to do around the house because they don't have to do anything unless they want to at their dad's.
Neither them or my ex is understanding that he has them 2 weekends out of the month...they LIVE with me day in day out...
I tried talking to my ex about it...his answer is always the same..."give it a few days..." And he says he's honestly not understanding my frustrations with them because he doesn't have any "issues" with them.... He does not comprehend that he has them 2 weekends out of the month - of course he doesn't have any issues!!
My biggest problem right now is that they feel they should not have to do any chores around this house because they don't have to do any at their dad's unless they want to.....
Perhaps the word you are looking for is "unmannered" rather than "uneducated"....
For myself personally...I did join this site perhaps some 5 years back...i was single then...I am not now, but i still enjoy the topics that are discussed on here and the friends i made on here during those years.
As for speaking to my friends on messenger...yes i do that...but one cannot really debate a topic or get multiple points of view when speaking to one person at a time. Also remember on here you get views and ideas that are multicultural....
My suggestion to you is to stop analyzing why OTHER people are on here and concentrate on why YOU are on here...
You're right this is being made especially harder for me because they are girls and i am trying to be their "friend" enough that they will come to me in times of trouble, or when they need solid advice....but at the same time maintain the role of a parent....
Sometimes I feel i let my guard slip because i am guilty of not providing them a home with TWO loving parents, though both my ex and I love the dust they walk on....we do it from separate homes...
Plus i also deal with the "its so much better at daddy's house...."
There are lots of great women out there....but it wouldn't work for you (as obviously the religious Morroccan woman didn't)...you've already stated you "fall" for the "bad girls"...you would never be happy with anything less...
Obviously the woman and her child is more of an issue to you than it is to your parents...
You said you are there just spending a few days with your parents, perhaps when you are not there this woman and her baby satisfies their need to have "family" in the house....
Also, if you are so opposed to her parenting skills, then why don't you suggest something that you could maybe do with her when she comes over that includes her son, rather than just sitting in front of the computer....not everyone takes to "mothering" naturally...so if you have some suggestions that would make her a better parent...then why not share that with her?
Though you did not say so in your question, i'm assuming the girl is not a relative...nor does it sound like she broke in if she is allowed to sit and play on the computer....
A woman surrounded by her loved ones in a picture is telling you what is important in her life...and you are getting a look at EXACTLY the type of woman you are going to date....
One who places family in high priority...one who is inviting you to be part of that...one who is proud of the legacy she will leave behind...
Well i'm not sure if i do have an opinion really...
However...I must say at the very least the stomach is midway between the two most important things i would want to reach....one being his heart...the other being....well...ummm you know!
If my potential boss is on CS then i would imagine he/she is in the same boat as I (either single and looking or just here for the forums) so can't say i'd be too concerned there....
Well....I'm sorry i got to miss all this yesterday....(I had to go to work)
There are two opinions that i read on here that i think sums up how i generally feel....
It's one more committment for people to break when its not going their way....
And...I'm not sure i believe in marriage any more..and i say that only because i honestly cannot see what the real purpose is in it....
From the few years i've been on this forums...one thing i know for sure is that the word "married" certainly does not keep one committed to a relationship...nor does it ensure "happily ever after...."
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What Makes A Civil Society....well....Civil!?
On another thread a member made a comment about "civil society"...and I guess that is what we all strive for, as well as turning out our children so that they understand the "rules" for a civil society...But where did those "rules" come from...who made them up...who breaks them...and why?
And do the "punishments" fit for those who do not follow the "rules"?