I'm sure there is a "deep meaning" somewhere there Dan...I just haven't caught it ...but the day is young yet...
I guess what i worry about is that if that particular problem they don't want to discuss at the moment escalates in any way that i will blame myself that i had the opportunity to head it off and i didn't take the time to play the "20 questions game"...know what i mean???
For the most part...if i have a problem...i say so..if i don't want to talk about it at the moment its usually because i'm still "processing" it in my mind....whether it is worth it to discuss/deal with or not...
What are your thoughts/feelings on when you ask someone if there is a problem...or they come to you telling you they are "depressed" but they "can't tell you about it"....
Do you play the "20 question" game...or do you drop it??
I have always told my kids i can't help if i don't know there is a problem...but i'm never sure whether they want me to drag the problem out of them or not...
For the most part...if i have a problem...i say so..if i don't want to talk about it at the moment its usually because i'm still "processing" it in my mind....whether it is worth it to discuss/deal with or not...
What are your thoughts/feelings on when you ask someone if there is a problem...or they come to you telling you they are "depressed" but they "can't tell you about it"....
Do you play the "20 question" game...or do you drop it??
I have always told my kids i can't help if i don't know there is a problem...but i'm never sure whether they want me to drag the problem out of them or not...
I think that is part and package of the problem too...is that there are too many parents who do not follow through with what they say...and in that case children get the idea that in public their parents will not follow through with discipline and they can get away with things then that they wouldn't normally try at home...
I have attended therapy...it was both a good and not so good experience...
I felt most times that i was doing his job for him by bringing up subjects i felt needed to be addressed... He did ask some questions that made me do alot of self evaluation (but that was on my own time)
And then one day i finally asked him what i was really doing there...because if i was only coming there to "offload"...i had alot of great friends i could do that with (at no cost even...)...since he didn't have an answer for me...I stopped going...
I learned from that experience the only person i can really depend on...is me...
There are many ways of interpreting the bible Dougie...and yes "marking" your skin was against God's laws in the OLD testament, as were alot of other things...
When Christ came and the NEW testament was written alot of the old laws were obliterated... The one thing that most "Christians" forget is that the bible also says "render thy heart not thy garment"...which loosely translated means God is really only interested in the state of ones "heart" not their appearance...
The thing is you really can't teach a child at home how to behave in public...you actually have to take them out there for them to learn how to interact outside of the home...so there is a short span of time where you are going through this and hope like hell other parents out there are "understanding"...and that you're really not a bad parent...
Reading the responses of PTG and nfowler is probably what i was looking for...that sometimes not only is this a waste of time, but it can do more harm than good...
I can appreciate the fact that therapy is helpful to alot of people, but i would like to hear from those who feel it has "screwed" them up more...
I have to agree with Dana...the children are far too young to be "forced"...and if he has to depend on his girlfriend to assist him, while you are available then i wouldn't say this is the best choice either...
What about him having them full time whenever they are not in school...would he agree to that? (In that case it may resolve some of the "school" issues he has)
Ultimately...you both have to do what is best for the children, and he may not like it...but that's just the way of things...let the children have a say...
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(I think i got gypped!!)
RE: Why do they look so old?!
Sometimes its just genetics...sometimes its just in the eyes of the beholder.....