To be sure in my situation I was made to feel like I was a terrible person for not wanting to blend our families and for "hurting him" ... He just could not understand, I DID NOT have an obligation to him...I chose him...but I DID have one to my children....
Bottom line...doesn't matter how much I love you...you will always come second to my children
To tell you the truth I don't think a person CAN give up on love...they may think they have...but in truth, if it presented itself, they would grab hold with both hands...JMO
Yes I can believe that...I did the same when I joined up some five years ago...I think it has to do with "desperation" in some part (and I use desperation for lack of a better term)
I used to buy Starbucks coffee every afternoon (to just get me through the rest of my day!)...the kiosk was right in front of a Bass Pro Shop (fishing/hunting supplies)...he saw me in the line for coffee...waited until I sat down with my cup...asked if he could sit with me...and we've been together for 3 years now..best cup of coffee I ever had!
It is a sad situation....as it always seems that the children pay the price for the choices that adults (parents) make...I know...I grew up with a stepfather...
I have two daughters and I worship the ground they walk on..in one of my past relationships he too had 2 daughters and I loved them as my own...in the end I decided I didn't want my children part of a blended family...but not because I couldn't love HIS children as well as mine...but because I didn't want MY children to have to compete with them for their "mother" (theirs was completely out of the picture)...
I believe that it wasn't always that way (trying to destroy) I think it started out as "trying to be better" (or one up on each other)...whether it involved individuals or nations...
Somewhere along the line...the "trying to be better" got misinterpreted as needing to destroy "you" so "I" can be at the top...
RE: IS CS a refuge for immature men and women?
I don't think that "immature" and "dreamer" are one and the same...