mcradloff Poetry (529)

I love you Cash Call!
Cash wired right in my account
No one would lend me any money
Not even my relatives!
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ha! Ha! Ha!
(Three months later)
I hate you cash call!
500% interest taken right out of my account
I can't afford to do anything
Not even visit my relatives!
Boo! Hoo! Hoo!
Boo! Hoo! Hoo!

Ed Gein
One of the most famous people from Wisconsin
I went to visit his grave on my vacation from work
It's a drive that takes you through Madison
Then you go straight up on Interstate 39 from there
All together it's about 160 miles
I find the grave yard right away
So I see a guy mowing the grass
I ask him where Ed Gein is buried
He tells me Ed used to babysit him when he was a kid
Ed was a good guy, hard worker
But when his mom did he went off the rails
So he tells me his son would know where he is buried
I ask his son if he knows where Ed is buried
He says, yes I know where he is buried, but I'm not gonna tell ya
I'm getting tired of people coming here
And disturbing his mom's rest, she needs to be left alone in peace
So I didn't want to upset the man
And decided it would be best if I left
I go back to his dad and he tells me how to find Ed Gein's property
As his house was burned down shortly after his arrest
I look for it, but I can't remember how exactly to find it
So I stop at a few businesses, got a Reese's pumpkin
A Badger tshirt, as they didn't have any Plainfield shirts
I also discovered a new snack at a wayside on the way there
Herr's Deep Dish Pizza Curls

She got bit yesterday
For a day it was ok
She washed it up and put on a Hello Kitty band aid
But I wish she would have gotten a doctor and paid
Because sometimes you need to spend some cold hard cash
Or you will slowly turn to ash
As she is doing right now
She smells real bad, worse than a sick cow
Her pink skin is blue and deep red now
As she is rotting like all dead things do
While mother nature slowly turns them to goo
I love her lots
But her body still rots
I will stay with her till the end
Will she bite me, I wonder not if but when
I miss her tender love
But with her condition I wouldn't touch her with a glove!

You get up there to sing your song
You hope you sing it well
You hope the audience is actually listening
You hope they enjoy your performance
You fight the fear of being on stage
You try to get to a place where you don't care what they think
You just let it flow
If you are successful you get a good feeling
But you have to have a good song, performance, and audience
Getting all three to come together is real tough
But it is the desire to give joy
A joy that will make them forget whatever is going on in their lives
For a brief moment all is right with the world
I guess that is what drives all performers
Whether they be comedians, singers, artists, athletes
You want to inspire people
To bring happiness to their lives
To be a star
And if you're really good
To be a diamond!

Ladies and gentlemen, I am not going to give a speech the way most people do it.
Maya Angelo, Oprah, or Tom Cruise once said that we live in moments
Oh I can't remember exactly what they said but I tell you this
I'm not going to thank God, my producer, my director, the academy, or anyone else for that matter
Nobody gonna breaka my stride
Nobody gonna slow me down
Oh no, I got to keep on moving
So I tell all the people watching me
Don't imitate me or anyone else
Be true to who you are
Go with yourself
I can't ####ing believe I'm here!

I wonder what temperature the CEO of our company has where he works?
Could it be the 500,000 dollars it would take to air condition our work place
Instead goes to his air conditioned office, car, yacht, truck, and swimming pool
Instead of a cool and comfortable temperature, we get Gatorade
I wonder how many factories have similar stories to tell about how hot it is
Or better yet, how many can really say they work in air conditioning
Or have a fan blowing on them at least?
This corporate greed just keeps right on rolling over good people
So a few fat cats can delight in the misery they create
Is is wrong to wish some of that misery back on them?
Of course it is, but I do find myself fantasizing
About what will happen to them when they die
Will they see the light and treat their workers with dignity
Or will they just donate some of their stolen cash to some church?
Is it better to kiss God's large fanny or people down here on planet earth?
I guess tomarrow will answer that question once again!

I got some music CD's today from a coworker at work
He had been promising me this music for about five years
I was very surprised when he gave it to me
I went through the music to find what to keep
All the while smelling cigarettes
The one case was made out of leather
Leather must really hold smoke smell well
Because this thing had not seen any smoke for over five years
Yet it smelled of cigarettes like it had been yesterday
I took what I wanted and donated that smelly case to Goodwill
Maybe a smoker will find it's smell dreamy

I bought your Season 3 last night at Goodwill
But it seems the network made you chill
You sent a mean tweet
You thought was neat
But those in power
Took away my favorite comedy hour
You spoke it from the hip
While you got fat on too much chips and dip
But I didn't care
It just isn't fair
Comedy, especially by a woman is hard to do
To make people laugh, well you really pulled through
So I'll just save your last show on my DVR
While I watch your DVD at home and in my car

I wish that on just one day of the year the dead could speak
What would they say?
What would my relatives say to me?
What would my grandparents, my uncles, former classmates say?
There are over 100 billion people who have lived and died
The stories they could tell about the time frames they lived in
My cemetery in my home town has birth dates from the 1880's
The newer ones are put where I used to practice golfing
Would they warn us of what their bad decisions led them to
Would they be speaking from heaven or somewhere else?
Did they all make it to heaven?
I know I won't know that till I die
I imagine you get to meet people from the past
Especially the famous ones like Michael Jackson

Went to some garage sales
Got two cds, pig calendar, calculator, pacman glass
And a note book
I also got some information about my family from a long time friend
This person knew my mom and dad before I was adopted
My brother swore at my mom when he was little
My nephew was mad at my sister
My mom let my brother and sister do anything
While getting on me for the smallest things
My other nephew doesn't have to work because mom lets him
His mother had another baby she wouldn't take of
She felt bad for my dad when mom made him sell his house
For a house that was way more expensive and in need of repair
It's nice to get another perspective
To let you know you're not the crazy one
Because some people are good at making you think you are

When you think of animals you want to save
Many cute and cuddly ones come to mind
The giant panda
Tigers
Whooping Crane
Blue Whale
Asian Elephant
Sea Otter
Snow Leopard
Gorilla
Tasmanian Devil and the Orangutan
They're pretty and they're popular
Me, the bloodsucking malaria spreading mosquito
Not so popular
We kill more humans than any other animal on the planet
That is of course if you don't count humans, they are really #1
So there are no charities out there for animals like us
None for the tsetse flies
None for scorpions either
So the whole animal charity business is a popularity contest
How much money does the average snow leopard get
Compared to the CEO that runs the charity?
Not much I bet

I went to Woodbine Golf and shot a 52
Then I shopped in downtown Galena
I got a chocolate covered brownie
Four chocolate chip cookies
A pen
Then I went to McDonald's and got three cheeseburgers with extra pickles
I went up to Muscoda after that and looked for some morels to buy
The cop said I was a week early as there wasn't any morels to buy yet
I bought some cheesy ranch popcorn at Rural Route Popcorn in Monfort
Then I shot a game of pool at a bar I used to play pool at
The two guys I used to play pool with
One is in prison for shooting a guy and killing him
The other lost his eye sight to diabetes and is living in Monroe
I finished up my day coming to the library and writing this poem
The end