I love
King crab legs
Pizza with sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms, and green olives
Cheese and Ben and Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup Icecream
I love
New York strip steak
cheeseburgers
Hardee's biscuits and gravy and sausage
I love
Lobster and cheddar bay biscuits at Red Lobster
Popcorn chicken at KFC
Aussie cheese fries at Outback Steakhouse
A blizzard at Dairy Queen
And I love you too
I love
Doritos and nacho cheese
Cheese spread on crackers with sliced green olives
Rainbow rotini
Lucky Charms and milk
Mountain Dew and Mello Yello
and I love you too
I love home cooked meals from my mom
Leftovers from a restaurant
Sharing food with a friend
And life
And I love you too
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2013
About this poem:
A parody of Tom T. Hall's I Love. I will be going to Red Lobster today. Used to always order the king crab, but they took that off the menu this year. I will order the lobster tail which is easier to eat, but I will still miss the king crab legs. They do have snow crab, but I can get that a few miles from my home at a Chinese buffet.
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It started back in the early 80's
These video games had me hooked
Ms. Pacman started it all
She ate cherries, strawberries, peaches, pretzels, apples, bananas
The only game I could play straight through on a quarter
Golden Axe
You just went through killing bad guys and zapping them with majic
I played as the short guy with the beard and helmet
Then there was Arkanoid
A version of Breakout
You hit blocks and got special help
Lasers, bigger block, hold onto the dot, warp into next phase, life
Then Nintendo came out with Mario Bros.
I didn't have to spend my quarters all the time
I could get the same graphic quality at home
I now play on a system that plays old Nintendo and sega games
Played Ms. Pacman and Tecmo Bowl(football game) this morning
I played Tony Hawk skateboarding and pool on my playstation yesterday
It's been a long time since I bought a new system
I got my XBOX way back in 2004 from a kid at work
He got it free with pepsi points
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2013
About this poem:
I have enjoyed my video games for a long time now. I'm not into the role playing games like Zelda, preferring easy to play games like Ms. Pacman and Qix.
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Here is a list of some songs I have enjoyed since the millenium.
2000
Smooth Santana featuring Rob Thomas
Higher Creed
Desert Rose Sting featuring Cheb Mami
2001
Fallin Alicia Keys
This I Promise You 'N Sync
Beautiful Day U2
2002
A Thousand Miles Vanessa Carlton
In The End Linkin Park
Without Me Eminem
2003
Where Is The Love? The Black Eyed Peas
Lose Yourself Eminem
Landslide Dixie Chicks
2004
Hey Ya! Outkast
It's My Life No Doubt
Are You Gonna Be My Girl? Jet
2005
Hollaback Girl Gwen Stefani
Gold Digger Kanye West featuring Jamie Foxx
My Humps The Black Eyed Peas
2006
Bad Day Daniel Powter
You're Beautiful James Blunt
Crazy Gnarls Barkley
2007
Hey There Delilah Plain White T's
Rehab Amy Winehouse
2008
Viva la Vida Cold Play
2009
I Gotta Feeling The Black Eyed Peas
Boom Boom Pow The Black Eyed Peas
Poker Face Lady Gaga
2010
Bad Romance Lady Gaga
Just The Way You Are Bruno Mars
Imma Be The Black Eyed Peas
2011
Rolling In The Deep Adele
Firework Katy Perry
Born This Way Lady Gaga
2012
We Are Young Fun featuring Janelle Monae
Somebody That I Used To Know Gotye featuring Kimbra
PSY Gangnam Style
2013
Royals Lorde
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2013
About this poem:
When I put together this list I used the billboard top 100 list as I listened to Casey Kasem back in the 80's. I limited myself to the top three songs for each year, many years barely had three, and others had less than that. PSY's Gangnam Style has been my most listened to on the list.
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Author: Elephant Larry
You know Dasher and Dancer
And Prancer and Vixen
Comet and Cupid
And Donner and Blitzen
But do you recall
Another reindeer
Rudolph the reindeer!
Had a nose!
And if you ever saw it
You would say nothing!
All of the other reindeer
Used to accept Rudolph completely!
They never let Rudolph
Lift anything on his own!
Then one foggy Christmas eve
Santa came to say
Rudolph you can't help!
Christmas is ruined!
Then how the other reindeer
Had unfair unexplained expectations of Rudolph!
And they cried!
Rudolph the reindeer!
You're the same as any other reindeer!
(Rudolph) I don't know why, but I'm sorry!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2013
About this poem:
This is a parody of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer by Elephant Larry. This is my favorite new Christmas parody song. It is from a show I used to listen to back in the 80's, the Dr. Demento Show.
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Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to sit down and answer some questions Santa. First, how come I have never seen you?
Santa: I have a lot of stops to make in just one night, so I move so fast that you cannot see me.
How many presents did you deliver last year?
Santa: I delivered 21 billion, 256 million, 754,033 presents last year, that's alot of lifting.
So how do you fit all those presents into your sleigh?
Santa: Thanks to majic I can put all the presents in my majic Santa sack, and they come out in the order that I visit each house, apartment, teepee, mudhut, whatever.
How can you afford to buy all those gifts?
Santa: I have my own diamond mine, gold mine, platinum mine, and Yukon Cornelius generously gives me half the money he gets from his peppermint mine. It's not just the cost of the gifts, the elves are well taken care of with good health care, paid vacations, and safe friendly working conditions. The waiting list is quite long to become an elf because it really is a joy to work for me.
Thanks Santa for taking some time to answer my questions. Any advice you would like to give?
Santa: Be sure to leave out some carrots for the reindeer, you better not pout, you better not cry, and clean your chimney because I'm coming to town.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2013
About this poem:
Just having some fun with Santa. Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!
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Up on a housetop
reindeer pause
Out jumps good old Santa Claus
How will he get down our chimney with lots of toys
Our openings too small even for little boys
Ho Ho Ho!
How will he go?
Ho Ho Ho!
How will he go?
Down though our chimney without getting stuck
And pop his head out through all that black muck
I just don't want toys and games to play
Make my brother stay away
From booze and pot and wicked girls
And make my dad quit making mean comments that he likes to hurl
Ho Ho Ho!
How will he go?
Ho Ho Ho!
How will he go?
Down through our chimney without getting stuck
And pop his head out through all that black muck
I wish Santa would bring what I really need
Dental work and a car that speeds
A sense of humor and a love for my fellow man
And I won't care if he has a permanent tan
Ho Ho Ho!
How will he go?
Ho Ho Ho!
How will he go?
Down through our chimney without getting stuck
And pop his head out through all that black muck
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2013
About this poem:
I asked my dad how Santa could get down our chimney and he said he doesn't for our house, he has a majic key for houses that have chimneys that don't open out over big fireplaces.
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I have gotten some good Christmas presents in the past
I have my U2 album from my brother
My majic record from my sister
My 8 track stereo from my mom and dad
The weight bench I used from Janurary to May of 1984
The packer hat
The shark game
National Geographic from 1986 to the present
The tape player I recorded music, my voice, and tv shows
I wish I could remember them all
I was just happy that someone remembered me
That someone took the time to think of me and give me a gift
I even got a Bevis and Butthead tshirt from my nephew
I got all my gifts wrapped and under my tree
DVDs, CDs, gift certificates, a calendar
I do my shopping on November 1
I started my shopping back when I was in seventh grade
I got the money from 15 muscrat traps
My dad did most of the work
I made about 200 dollars from this
That amount is still around what I spend to this day
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2013
About this poem:
I have had some good Christmas presents from my past. I once got a shark game I already got, but I kept quiet because I was touched they even got me anything.
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He used to be on Saturday Night Live
His last movie is Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
Will was in The Campaign, Land of the Lost
Step Brothers, Blades of Glory
Talladega Nights, Kicking and Screaming
Elf and Anchorman
He had many funny lines
This burrito is delicious but it is filling
I'm Cam Brady and I seductively approve this message
You're a little a#$@%le Chaka!
Robert better not get in my face cause I'll drop that mother#$%@er
Lookins for free, touchins gonna cost you something
I like the Christmas Jesus best, I win the races and I get the money
The pizzas don't arrive, I've already made the decision
We'll eat Biongsun
Does Santa know you left the workshop?
And I'm Ron Burgundy
Go #$%@ yourself San Diego
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2013
About this poem:
Just saw his latest movie, loved it. It was very funny like all the movies I mentioned. Will has been in many others too, but these are my favorite ones. His homeless art class model from Saturday Night Live is my favorite bit, second would be his mean boss interview with Pierce Brosnan.
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He flew though the sky with his eight tiny reindeer
From the bells on his sleigh I knew he was near
He came down the chimney with a groan
Then I heard a woman say
"Honey, I'm Home!"
She stood 5 feet tall
She had a figure like that Victoria Secret chick I saw at the mall
She cooked me flapjacks with bacon and toast
Then for desert
Well, I don't like to boast
We lived happily ever after
My good wife and me
Thanks to a jolly old elf who lived up north on a frozen sea
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2013
About this poem:
Thinking of Mariah Carey's Christmas song "All I Want For Christmas Is You." This would be an awesome present from Santa.
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December 14, 2013
Dear Diary,
I am so ashamed
This darn nose of mine
It ruins everything
I almost got Cornelius and Hermie the elf eaten by the Bumble
My dad tried to cover it up with some mud
It fell off after Clarice gave me the courage to fly
One good thing happens and it's ruined by this deformity
Why am I such a misfit?
Just because my nose glows
Why don't I fit in?
Well I have to keep on the move so the Bumble doesn't eat me
It sure is cold out here and lonely
But if I stayed around I'd get someone eaten because of my nose
It glows really bright!
It might come in handy for reading at night
If I knew how to read
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2013
About this poem:
Rudolph was my favorite Christmas movie when I was a kid. I based my whole Christmas belief on it.
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Frosty the Snowflake
Was a very depressed little soul
With a six sided icy body
With icy projections
And a heart made out of dust
Frosty the Snowflake
Was a fairy tale they say
He was made of ice
And the children know
That he isn't very nice
There must have been some hate
In that speck of dust that ice was around
For when he fell from the sky
He invited billions of pals to come down
Frosty the Snowflake was as nasty as he could be
And the children say
At least he got me out of school for one day
Frosty the Snowflake knew the sun was hot that day
He said to his icy pals
Hey lets have some fun and flood all their homes away
Down to the village with debris in his and his buddies hands
Running here and there all around the square
Saying catch me if you can
He led them down the streets of town
Right to the traffic cop
And he only paused a moment when he heard him holler HELP!
Frosty the Snowflake had to hurry on his way
But he waved goodbye saying go ahead and cry
I'll be back with all my icy buds again some day
Bumpity, bump bump
Bumpity, bump bump
Look at Frosty go
Slamity, slam slam
Slamity, slam slam
Over the hills of snow
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2013
About this poem:
A parody of Frosty the Snowman. We have snow all week here, thankfully just the 1 to 2 inches a day stuff.
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I have just finished another year performing on
The Wisconsin Badger Camp Telethon
I juggled to various songs over the years
In 2001 I juggled while talking and sang
Tom Lehrer's A Christmas Carol
In 2002 I juggled to Charlie Daniel's Devil Went Down To Georgia
In 2003 it was MC Hammer's Can't Touch This
In 2004-2005 I did Barry Manilow's I Write the Songs and
Weekend in New England
In 2008 I did Wierd Al Yankovic's Couch Potato
A parody of Eminem's Lose Yourself
In 2009 I juggled to Van Halen's Jump and Right Here Right Now
In 2011 I did Wierd Al Yankovic's Eat It
A parody of Michael Jackson's Beat It
And Fat
A parody of Michael Jackson's Bad
2012 was Don't You Forget About Me and Alive and Kicking
By Simple Minds
This year was New Kids on the Block with The Right Stuff
and Hangin Tough
I have also collected autographed pictures of celebrities auctioned
Ed McMahon, Casey Kasem, and Jim Carrey
The Camp gives disabled kids and adults a place to enjoy fun activites
Fishing, camping, painting, games, etc.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2013
About this poem:
I was having a hard time remembering all the performances, there have been 11 so far. I was told this would be the last year for it due to lack of student help. I hope they are wrong. I enjoy the talent shows more than anything else on the show. My favorite so far was a girl dancing to Betty Boop, she was spot on.
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mcradloff Poetry (529)