mcradloff Poetry (529)

Hey Siri!
Why is your mamma so fat?

-My mother?

I have been playing with this application since yesterday
It is fun
It doesn't have any answers for if there is a god, bigfoot, or aliens
About half the time it gives written answers from the web
And doesn't say the answer
Is it listening to me?
It wouldn't answer that one either

Lots of Youtube videos
Gilligan's Island cast on Family Feud
Interview with Bob Denver(Gilligan)
Fast and Furious cars rated
Mr. Bean as the Devil
Michael Jackson's Billie Jean
Customers being disresecptful
What it's like to be a truck driver
Green bay teacher resigns
Discussion on the existence of hell
Neil DeGrasse Tyson on the universe
Interview with Debbie Harry(Blondie)
70's commercial gingles
Facebook

I missed a lot on my trip out to California in 2019
I was by myself and I was scared
Scared of getting lost
Scared of bums
If I would have had a navigation system on a cell phone
It could have been more fun
Disneyland
Hollywood walk of stars
Lots of stuff around San Francisco
But I just stayed on 101
Drove to San Francisco and got lost downtown for an hour
Now I have a cell phone to help me navigate Maine
And all the stuff out that way
New York City maybe
But
I have to figure it out first!

Why don't you use your head for something other than a hat rack!
Which way is the tree going to fall?
I'm missing 35 dollars in change, you know anything about that?
I'm going to give you my car, but after that, you're on your own.
You need to work all the overtime you can, that's what built this house.
I'm missing a gun and a lot of money, it's really bad.
Are you going to come back next year and fish with me?
What are you looking at?(after hitting his truck door into a post)
Back up the truck.(Backed it over a log, he spent three hours cutting it out)
You knew that vine was going to break, didn't you?
Free the raccoon? You stick your hand in there and then tell me how many fingers you have left!
I told you to get rid of that car after 100,000 miles!
Come again when you can stay longer.
You leave Mike alone! He's enjoying himself! (Me singing and annoying Deb)
Quit yelling, you're upsetting Mike!(After my hook accidentally hooked Rich)
45 fish huh, what are you going to catch your pecker size? And you're cleaning them when we get back to the cabin.
Are you OK Mike?(After I fell on the ice while ice fishing sitting on a bucket)

1. Picking up aluminum cans. I made 400 dollars in 7th grade doing this when the price of aluminum per pound was 28 cents.

2. Mowing grass. I did this for 25 years and made some good extra money doing it.

3. Robbing a bank. Stealing is probably one of the fastest ways to make some extra cash. It does carry some moral baggage for some, so this one hasn't been one of mine, plus if you get caught it's some guaranteed jail time.

4. Prostitution. This is another one that I haven't tried, and I haven't paid for either. There are many who make some extra cash tax free this way, but the dangers of picking up a disease plus possibly being hurt or killed make this one a risky way to score some extra loot.

5. Murder for hire. This one is a problem for me as I worry about that whole burning in hell for eternity consequence, but those who don't mind the bad afterlife results can really make some extra cash really quick, or about as long as it take for the bullet to come out of the gun and hit your target.

6. Begging. This one can be done with some old clothes and a cardboard sign with some catchy phrase on it. There are some who pretend to be homeless and do pretty well with this one, but here again I have to pass as I feel the really needy need the handouts more than I do.

Went to Goodwill
What a thrill!
I usually go out of there empty handed
Feeling like an L on my forehead was branded
But
In the CD section I was browsing hoping for the most
When along came Luther Vandross
A song he did with a woman with hits by the ton
Her name was Janet Jackson
Brother Michael did better with a style came off as sometimes mean
With hits like Ben, Rock With You, and Billie Jean
This song didn't chart very high on the Billboard Charts
But still it is dear to my heart
Let's Wait Awhile, Nasty, Escapade, When I Think Of You were great
This song somehow put me in a state
Of pure joy
How can I explain it
Oh boy
Like Janet says at the beginning of the song
Are you ready?

Got my shot yesterday at 9:30 in the morning
Was alright till last night
When I kept waking up
Over and over again
Now my knee hurts
I'm tired
My head hurts a lot
But hopefully I can get over these symptoms by Monday
Then on June 10 I can get rid of the mask at work

I'm less than a week away from getting my second shot
Then it's two weeks to get away from being hot
From these masks that make you breathe in your own carbon dioxide
It is not worth trying to hide
I will not miss these blue masks
I have enough to do to make up my tasks
Just sifting through the endless crap that people spew out
It makes me want to scream and shout
What about other things that should have my attention
Wasting my time on germ retention
There are real things to be enjoyed that I am missing
Like love and joy and lots of kissing
So I wait in anticipation
For this hoax brought on by our nation
What will they think up next?
To try to get people from having sex

When are we going to Mars?
I heard it once by Bush Jr. back around 2005
Then nothing more was done or said
Now we have a drone flying on Mars
Big deal
We had space craft on Mars way back in the 1970's
So when is a man going to Mars?
When is a woman going to Mars?
When will we be going to the moons of Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto?
I am hoping with Elon Musk's help it will be soon
The cost of sending nine astronauts to Mars is 1.5 Trillion dollars
We spend a lot of money on other things that hurt people
Why can't we spend money on things that would bring people true hope
Like Casey Kasum used to say "Keep your feet on the ground and
Keep reaching for the stars."

Covid has taken a huge bite out of the number of garage sales
I have a Chevy Cruze with remote start
If the battery gets low the car won't start
I came close to being stranded in front of St Mary's Gym
I thought they had a garage sale in the gym
They didn't
I was supposed to help my sister haul away garbage from Mom's home today
A day before Mother's Day
Not happening!
I didn't support her being taken from her home
I'm not going to be part of her loss of her freedom
Freedom to drive her car
Gone!
Freedom to live with her grandchildren
Gone!
Her mind
Going, Going, Gone!
At least I got some good chocolate chip cookies

I took the drive to Lancaster
It is a 15 mile drive
To where I thought my Mom was
An old folks home
On the way I saw a turkey vulture
They're big birds!
What an omen
As the only place I had ever seen one on the side of the road
Was on the way to Muscoda
The nurse told me she wasn't there
I should call my sister
My sister said they hid Mom at another place so she didn't have to go
The police offered no support
Saying it was out of their hands
So she is free from that hell for now
I'm glad of that
But for how long?

To clap or not to clap
That is the question
Whether it is nobler to clap only when there is a great performance
And give the slings and arrows of absolute silence
Or to yell out insults of ridicule
To die on stage
To sleep no more
And by to say we end our future performances
So there will be no heartache from a thousand natural shocks
The crowds seems more into consumption of their sandwiches
Their beer swilling
Now there's the rub
But I still have a dream
To perform a performance that will give them hope
Make them dream
May there be all bad performances forgotten
And all good ones remembered forever
And that the clapping and good will
Will be mine