In this prison of concrete and steel,
I sometimes wonder if I'm even real.
Do I really walk my own way?
Or am I bound to do what they say?
Murder in the streets, killing on the news.
It's a wonder where I learned these views.
The mask I wear hides the real me.
Because I'm not who they want me to be.
They tell me I'm wrong and push me around.
But I just smile and don't make a sound.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Oct 2012
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Every day that i survive, I become even stronger.
Each new experience and triumph lets me live longer.
I choose to give up being an irrepressable hatemonger.
There are things I have dreamed of, that I still seek.
I look back and learn from the times i was weak.
Thinking back, I laugh at my desire to meet a freak.
Since I was a young boy, love has mattered to me.
A loving husband and devoted husband is all i wanted to be.
But it seems the more I look, the less I can see.
They clearly didn't lie when they said "love is blind."
Even though it hurts, it is forefront in my mind.
I will still pour my heart out, and get left behind.
Of all the knowledge I seek, this I cannot attain.
I keep going after it even though it causes pain.
Some whould argue, "that's how you define insane."
So I continue on this utterly bleak path.
Always coming up short regardless of the math.
I wonder why I deserve God's wrath.
I'm tired of being pushed away with a strong shove.
I want to settle down into the life that i dreamed of.
To know that she's faithful, for i know she's in love.
That day will come soon, so I must prepare
For I must take action when the one is truely there.
Lose that opportunity... ... ... I wouldn't dare.
I watch others in love, and use that info as mine.
I learn when to let things slide and where to draw the line.
I listen to every problem, even when they whine.
Somewhere the secret to love lies inside of this.
The key to being desired, and to giving her bliss.
If i could wish one thing, it'd be a final first kiss.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Sep 2012
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There are some things that I strive to attain.
I continue to seek, even though it causes pain.
I sometimes wonder if i can keep doing all of this.
Then, like clockwork, I'm rewarded with a first kiss.
The experiences I've had weren't what i dreamed of.
It's not always rewarding, this game we call love.
I forget the hard times, when they are going good.
Why i keep going though, I've never understood.
I continue the search, regardless of what I find.
And once I have it, the struggles will leave my mind.
So many others have what I wish i had.
If i could stand myself, it wouldn't be so bad.
I let people hurt me, for to me that's what I'm worth.
Can't remember when it started, I think at birth.
I won't find love, until I find it deep within.
I need to love myself, but where do I begin.
So many tell me it all starts inside of me.
There is a value to me, that I cannot see.
Everyone says that I can paint pictures with words.
Every line as graceful as the flight of birds.
It is my choice, whether to use this tool.
Finding somebody that will let me love them, that'd be cool.
I return to school, humbly, in the fall.
Once settled in, I'm guaranteed a booty call.
Happiness, as it happens, is a choice i can make.
I want to learn to smile more, even if it's fake.
It has an effect similiar to dominoes.
They see me smile and they do too, that's how it goes.
I hope to stay vigilant in this goal i have selected.
For when i am truely happy i'll see that reflected.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Sep 2012
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I regret the time I met him,
that fateful autumn day.
I now wish I could have rid him,
But I do not know a way.
He stood upon my doorstep,
he was freezing to the core.
He stepped in from my doorstep,
and I could tell he was poor.
I sat down at my table,
and asked him if he would sit.
He sat down at my table,
so he could warm up a bit.
I then took him to my study,
he asked if I'd like some lore.
I said, "This is my study,
and stories are what it's for."
He sat in my old rocker,
as I sat in my desk chair.
He rocked in my old rocker,
telling tales here and there.
We sat in that old study,
as he told me many tales.
He told me of his study,
of a boat with many sails.
It came time to retire,
I had to go to my bed.
I asked if he'd retire,
for a place to rest his head.
I then went to my chambers,
to get some peaceful slumber.
But as I lay in my chambers,
I only saw a number.
When I woke in the morning,
I asked about the digit.
But all he did all morning,
is sit and fuss and fidget.
It wasn't til that night,
that he told me what it meant.
He almost took half the night,
explaining a divine rent.
He said you do not pay it,
until it's your time to go.
And if you do not pay it,
to hell is where you'll go.
I'd thought he was mistaken,
so the number, I ignored.
I'd known he was mistaken,
you don't need rent for the Lord.
As I lay in my chambers,
I knew the stranger had lied.
As I lay in my chambers,
That next autumn night, I died.
My soul died and went to hell,
I didn't heed the warning sent.
Now I sit here in hell,
just because of unpaid rent.
beLIEve
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Sep 2012
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This is a list of ExaltedZelderon's Poems. Click here for ExaltedZelderon's Poem List