KarensHeart Poetry (29)

I remember I woke to the sound of chaos
First I thought it was another bombing in Iraq
Turned off the radio and turned on the news flash
I couldn't believe there was an attack

All those people caught in panic and terror
When the first tower fell, I thought it was an error
Then the second deflated like a bag of air
But with the utmost costly despair

All those people running for their lives
I couldn't believe it, to see such demise
Fear and disbelief running rampant
An un-waking hideous nightmare of time

The news cut in, and said the pentagon was hit
Oh my god I thought, could this be it?
I looked up to the skies as I drove to work
I hear there's another plane, but it hit the earth

They said it was headed for the Sears Tower
I tried calling my husband, there weren't available towers
I tried calling on my way to work
My husband worked at the Sears Tower

I arrived at work, I tried calling again
What's happening? Why aren't you answering?
Pacing the floor, tapping the phone
Come on Honey, pick up the phone

I felt guilty as hell because of where I sat
He could have been Bin Laden's target
When I heard they changed their route
I rush came over me, and I let it all out

Those brave souls on that plane made sure
It would not reach the destination of horror
Instead took their own lives
To an certain deadly detour

We finally spoke, I was overjoyed
He was as scared as a little boy
He said panic and hysteria filled the air
He wanted to be home, it was all that mattered
He said the train station was packed and scared
People were jumping the tracks
They were just looking to be safe
The building was evacuated just in case

But once on the train
He said there was an eerie silence
Someone had a radio
That played the news of that day

A sigh of relief as they drove further away
No one on that train will forget that day
They could have been the next to die that day
And instead they go home and feel safe again

I never felt so happy about a plane crashing
But my husband, my life, my everything
Was not going to die, at least not that day
I thank the passengers that gave their lives that day

They knew they would never
See their families again
They knew they were traveling
As a human time bomb that day

The parents, the wives, the sons and daughters
Sisters and brothers, friends and lovers
I pray for the families who lost their loved ones
I cannot even imagine how they felt

I got an email today
It said an old friend of mine
Had died today

God had drawn the line
And his weary body
Was finally ready to cross

His family is at a loss
But just maybe
His spirit is ageless

I got an email today
It made me think of tomorrow
To reflect back at time borrowed

What would you do
If the doc told you
Your time has grown short

Get your life in order
Say your goodbye's
To your husband or wife

Say your goodbye's
To your kids
When they were your life

I got an email today
It told me life is too short
To sit back and waste

I turn the glass over and watch the sands fall
Creating a mound of memories to recall

I reflect to cherish, the days of my youth
Watching them slip by, not much I can do

But awake to a new day, that too will pass
I will pick up that glass and with no abash

I empty the grains of days gone by
Empty the time, and fool myself "why"?

Who wants to see that you're getting older
Just let it come by and you'll feel bolder

I'm not leaving without a fight
I'm stubborn and full of strife

I like how I feel and don't want a reminder
Just how fast time slips by

So I will run in the that sand
And then kick my heals up high

Take "that" sand, take "that" time

A third of sadness
A third of pain
A third of hope
That you'll feel normal again

Each day we wake up
We wish for the strength
To live through another day
Lord please keep me on
The straight and narrow
But do not hate me
When I stumble or falter
I can only hope and pray
That tomorrow will be
Your love washes away
All the denial and dismay
I'll make it through another day
Because true love
Does not question
Something that is
Beyond comprehension

My soul has started healing
When it was in such darkness
My heart felt so unfeeling
What made it so distressed?

I'm overcome with emotion
It sneaks up on me when I'm awake
My tears could fill an ocean
But this time, they are not fake

I know where my heart and soul belongs
On my sleeve for all to see
No more concealing
Of what was right and wrong

Thank you God, you heard my plea

I miss the pleasure you gave me
I miss the goose bumps
I miss how intoxicating you can be
I miss how my heart jumps

I miss the rush of your fire
I miss how you took me away
I miss how the people would admire
I miss the power play

Did I lose you, where did you go?
You were my one true love
That one thing I could always do right
But you went away my love

Please find me again, I so long for you
No one see's what you mean to me
I say you mean the world to me
But their world seems is all they see

You're in the pit of my heart
And in the depths of my soul
When I close my eyes and let out one note
My feet lift up and away I float

I'm scared to find you
All alone like before
I have a good love at home
So I don't want to explore

Please try and find me
Help me find a way to sing
But not just in the car
Help me to be free again

You almost made me famous, I almost took it, almost, but I didn't

Look at this face
You can't help but smile
Even if your in a bad place

It can light up your life
In so many ways
A very positive start

That Happy face is saying
“That warm feeling in your heart
Is the love of mother earth”

The simple things in life
Are the ones to cherish
They keep us sane or we will perish

The fruits of Life
The wealth of Love

The abundance of time
The joy of a smile

It can all slip away
In a blink of an eye

How cruel is fate
Karma is at stake

Slapping you from behind
You've been played the fool

You can close your eyes
Hide you head in the sand

But once you've faced life
You see what's planned

You can prepare yourself
Thru sickness then sorrow

Hold on to tomorrow
And maybe cheat death

You‘re invincible
But not to death
And now...
you can't catch your breath

I dreamed of your eyes
You looking at me
I dreamed of your smile
You said I was pretty
As you cup my cheek
Touching me gently
Tilting your head
Leaning in to kiss me

I awoke smiling in my sleep
My heart was warmed
I was helpless and weak
And then I'm awake
Feeling empty, depleted

So sad I was with sleep in my eyes
Tears followed
I pounded my fists with despise

It was bittersweet, my love
Cause you were “my” true love
But I am not yours
Was I

I'm supposed to care for you
And come to your beckon call
But when you need me the most
You to turn me away, make me feel small

Maybe I came on too strong, it scared you so
I see the important things need correcting
but you don't want me and are not accepting

Things are gonna change,
I won't be there anymore to make sure
you don't wind up on the floor
Or in a nursing home's ward

I put your diapers on
And get you dressed in you chair
I put your blue hair in rollers
And picked out what to wear

I made your meals with care
And washed you dirty undies
I even hung your pictures
just high enough for you to see

You say I'm just like family
Now I see what that means
I never trusted your family
They tell you say goodbye to her easily

Your family takes advantage of you
They take your money gladly
Yet when it comes to the hired help
You won't spend another dime on me sadly

Your Mother once told you
You're a penny wise, and a pound foolish
Some people never learn
Your decision could be hazardous

Your husband will be gone
Alone in a nursing home
You'll be at home
All alone your money

I'm just the hired help
Who re-arranged her life
Just to help you live out
Your days in peace and quiet

Love the Caregiver - The Hired Help

All I talked about was you
The months before you were home
Not a call or a text, but on facebook
I find out your home like everyone else

She got the surprise
A hug she could not even give
I'd given you hugs and kisses
And said I'm so proud and cry

I know you never meant to hurt me
But that night I cried like a baby
A mother needs to know she's loved
Just like a son needs to be proud of

I wanted to know when you'd be home
So I could arrange some time to spend
You could not give me that
Yet it was the night before you left

You still haven't changed
Still avoiding situations
Like not knowing how to tell people
You just want to hang with friends

But I'm YOUR MOM dammit
I think I have the right
To see you more than once
The 2 weeks you're home from Kuwait

Maybe I wasn't a good mom
Is this really what you think
But you won't tell me
Cause you'll avoid that just the same

She texted me to let me know you'd be home
So I called and texted,
I'm home on facebook you said
Yet no reply I got

Your actions speak louder
Than the few words you say
I see where I stand
In your small world you stay