Swatcat Poetry (14)

Three little names etched in my skin, three little girls they be my kin, going 6 years I have not seen thee, brings me pain hurt & misery.
First of the litter her heart is bitter, hates me so she says, then number 2 how I love you, my heart breaks each day.
Then number three who doesn't even know me, I’m sure their mother is happy with things like this, happy to have it HER way.
Cracks in my heart & a pain in my chest I know this way is not the best.
Apples of my eye my love will not die for you now nor forever, eternal shall it always be.

3 little R's that are my life, I hope I can hold you once more, before I meet the dark man’s scythe.

14/08/2006 10:28:49 PM

There’s a place in my mind, where time stands still, able to reflect at will, to think about days gone by, to search where I am now, and where I will be in days to come. I don’t know what the future will bring; I hope its full of love and joy, a feeling to make me want to sing, even if it is off key.

There is a place in my heart, it feels like it’s being torn apart, uncertainty is at hand, lost is a deep dark nightmare, for whatever reason, life is never fair, whilst I feel bewildered with despair, I know I can get myself out of there.

Its just going to take time, but the clock continues to tic and toc, they say one door has to close before another can open, sadly time is the one thing that is not on my side, whilst I hold my head up high and walk with pride, inside I want to be unseen and hide. I just want it all to just go away, dreams are free but reality bites, it doesn’t matter how much you fight, and the two will always remain. I can see why sanity is lost to the insane, with all the hurt and pain one can endure, inside a man is what is pure, his heart of gold, full of warmth and never cold, as a dad, did the best I could, nothing less and never would.

Separate lives we will now live, all the best for you I do wish, no matter how damaged my heart will be, you’re my daughter and forever will you be, you are the most important thing to me, everything else just doesnt compare, as my child as sweet as you, a gem so beautiful and so rare. I will try to see you again, but if fate has other plans, just remember that this man who is your dad will always love you and be your greatest fan.

As tears roll down my face, its time for me to leave this darkened feeling, leave this painful place, move on to find a better ending, whilst my broken heart repairs itself in mending.

As the twinkle in my eye, I bid thee fare well and goodbye…….

With all my love.. your dad.

With all the things the world has to offer, why is it, as we get older, we become softer? With all the inspirations one can muster, why does life become cluttered? As we try to be the best we can, with good intentions not everything goes to plan. Life is a trial no doubt, but we feel miserable if we have to go without, live, love and learn, as we grow through life we learn to live, love and even yearn.

We all grow on borrowed time, its not questionable, it’s a very fine line and precise, the complexities of life is not how we lived it or what we have done, but how we share it with others, we are all on the same rock, none of us are exempt, why do some view others with contempt? We are all different in our ways, but who gave someone else to right to question who, how or what we do as right or wrong? For far to long we have been told how it will be, where did our right to be free go? Our right to think how we like, to openly say how we feel, without question or doubt or be judged by an equal.

Why do people feel the desire to control others, do they think its right? When will they learn that humanity when suppressed will always try to fight, for freedom and liberty, to be free as a bird and to take flight. Why has humanity been programmed to be in competition? Why must we keep up with the rich & infamous, why can’t we be humble enough for what we need, instead of being left to feel we want what others have.

And when you get to an age to sit back and ponder and wonder, why you went through it all, just remember that it was because it was what you were told how to use the one thing you outright owned…… that was your life!!

831


I’m so sorry you felt left out, I’m very sorry you could not join in, I feel sad and bad that you missed out, I wish it wasn’t that way, miss you not being here, I feel upset and alone, when you left it felt like a part of me was gone, I so don’t want to feal like that hon. A silly little misunderstanding is all it was, but I sillily thought all was lost, but after some talk and some comprehension we are back to unison, the way it has been the way its meant to be, I so want this between you and me, you’re in my head you’re in my dreams, you swim though my veins, you are tangled within my soul, god I have not felt this way in so long, I know you feel the same, neither of us are to blame, it just is…. Magical.
I feel me yearn for you, I know you can feel me too, because you know I feel you, I struggle to contain myself from within a battle of control and stature, your heart I wish to capture, with you I want to be, beside you hand in hand and free, your sensual touch, your sensuous kiss have it I just must, days have gone by, and its been days since I have sighed, this I thank thee for, and I apologise now because I want you forever more, you brighten my day, in every conceivable way, I cant wait to hear from you, in one way or another, I probably shouldn’t say this but I want to be your lover, your man, and for you everything that I can, for now I leave this room in my mind, where all my thoughts poured out from the start, even where the miles separate I know we are not apart, because you now reside in two places within, one is my soul the other is in thy heart.
With all the 831’s, kisses, smoooches and nibbles, this is not dribble, this is me waiting for you my dear, please don’t be in fear, even tho it can be scary at times, this is how life is meant to be for you and me.
You know who I am and where you can find me, I’m the guy sitting waiting with eyes only for you, trying to express what the feelings for thee are, and you know that I’m not really away or that far.

The love of one can make you cry, the love of one can make you sigh, to love & to hold wont let you grow old, because of the feelings you have deep inside. You feel complete no need to compete, because you are equal in each others eyes, for you she is your world, for her you are her man, even her greatest fan, for you both life is bliss, it started with that very first kiss.
The power of love can be hard to fight, even tho you try with all your might, sometimes its just plain out of sight, love can be hard & harder to find, it can even get you in a bind, some have said it drove them out of their mind, so when you find your true love, remember what you are holding is like a fragile dove & so whilst it maybe true to have loved & lost, think back at what the cost.

Here I go, at it again, but next time who knows when? And this one could be the last of all, with all the things I can do, none more important than when I do them for you, to do my best is my test, something I think I have failed again, to many thoughts and lots of emotion, just creates heaps of heartache and commotion, reading to much between the lines, causes foolishness and divides, the mind is full of tricks, this time I don’t think this one I can fix, tomorrow is a new day, but it might end in a sad way.
Running short of time was I, left for work with a deep sigh, thinking about what was said, after all the considerations and sadness in my heart, I sent a message that may actually tear us apart, angry at myself I have to say, the punishment might be go away, with all the words I have said, between the lines I have meant, full of worry, anxiety has now moved in, it feels like I have committed a sin.
I wish I could turn back time, and then I could sleep knowing we will be fine, uncertainty has me in fear, it brings with it a tear, as my heart feels heavy, saddened and at a loss, I can feel at what the cost, and that is you.

Here I lay awoken from my slumber, at rest for a century or more, exiled from my home, banished from my throne, I feel you’re your heartbeat, the sound of your running footsteps because you sense I am near, I can sense your fear and smell your flesh, for I am a creature of the night.
Don’t panic and don’t resist and don’t put up a fight, I only want a little bite, I have not eaten in a very long time, if you accept me I will make you mine, I think you would be very tasty and divine, I know what you search for, immortal is how you want to feel, I know you think its all in your mind, you think I am not real, but you will know the truth as I leave two puncture marks as my proof, so at night be wary and brave as it is my bite for you I crave. I will quench my thirst, and you will be the first for I am the prince of darkness, a restless soul forever cursed.

I know something’s wrong I know something isn’t right, but everyday I continue to fight, I awake thinking it’s a bright new day but for some reason it ends the same old way. I sit and ponder why does it not change, I sit and wonder how do I manage to stay sane, I wonder why you can’t find me, am I obscured from view? Because I have to say I’m searching for you, I know you’re out there somewhere, I just wish I knew.
I’m not getting younger and I don’t know how much longer I will be here, if I think about it for too long I start to tear, if your afraid, please don’t be in fear, we could be together right now if only I knew who you are if only I knew somehow.
I know I am made for you and you are made for me, like two peas in a pod or a couple, like Adam and Eve. Your in my heart you’re a part of my soul, you make me complete, around you I feel whole, it is not chance it must be fate the first step is when we date. Because before that we are just mates, so now I put this pen down and walk away with my smile looking like a frown L.
So I hope your day is great because mine carries on at the same old pace.



Written by your current friend who needs you as my soul mate

Life, forever continuing, like an eternal flame, this is already starting to sound tame, with each new day, another entity is being formed, born into a world of turmoil & riddled with despair, we hope you grow old & live fair, we hope you fulfil your dreams & desires, we know you will encounter ups & downs, but try not to frown, as most go through this, so you know you are not alone, there will be days of good & bad, there will be times when you are sad, there will be times of joy & glee, like there was for your mum & me, but our time has come to pass, you grew up so fast, now go forth & make your mark, look after yourself & take care because you are our child & you are so rare.

Love always…

Your future Mum & Dad.

Days like this are hit and miss, but you know your life is bliss, you sit and wonder and begin to ponder, how did it end up like this, then you look at the sanity and vanity, of humanity and start to see, that all can be free like you and me, and sore like an eagle with glee, but at some stage you have to land, and then you find that time is at hand, to move forward with your band, you weave your magic, like an hour glass filled with sand, as time goes by, you release the odd sigh, and think of a place you would rather be, through the valley and over the hills, you know it’s a battle of wills, as we walk this golden path called life, we know at times there might be strife, but once all the smoke has cleared, and after all that has been said and done, you know at the end of the day we are still one

With each beat of you’re heart, you know deep down inside, we will never be apart, in unison, like a horse and cart, and that’s just the start, as we grow old lets never be told, that our love is too bold, or that we are not strong enough to withhold, or that our love for one another will grow cold, I am yours and you are mine, to me you simply are divine, you dance in my mind, and swim through my veins, when we connect I feel no pains, everything about you does not make me feel blue, but roses are red and your stuck in my head, so as I open my arms and put out my hand, know forever that I am your man.

So….. Why do we have turmoil, why are we so competitive? Why do we only care about ourselves, and not everyone around us, those we do and don’t know? Is it asking too much of us to care about someone else? Do we not have the time?
Friends come and go, lovers do the same, it’s ironic that the two are mutually aligned, ending in the result that losing either one causes pain.
It is said that it is better to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all, when you think about that logically, it’s a load of crud, if one has never loved then one could never know just how much it hurts when one has lost. So why do we feel emotional pain? Is it to help us grow? Is it to make us better human beings? Can anyone honestly say they want to be emotionally hurt?? I doubt it, yet in the quest to avoid loneliness, we know the end result, even before we say those deep heart felt words
“I love you”.

There are no words that can describe my feelings for you that I have inside, from out of nowhere you did appear, soft, sensuous like a shinning light, waiting to be taken to new heights, you are full of love you are so kind, waiting for me to ask you to be mine.

You want to be my baby and to be loved, to be held to be kissed and to be hugged, with all that I am and all my emotion you are my devotion, as two hearts beat as one, there can be no bad only fun, as we walk this dance called life there will be no strife, with the miles apart it aches my heart but it wont tear it apart, In my mind always will you be as you take my hand we are free, your in my soul you make me feel whole, complete, and not old.

Flowing through my veins removing all my pains, I feel you deep within, for now and forever more it is you that I adore, with all my love and all my heart we will never be apart, in appreciation that you found me, know that forever and ever more that I love thee.