Dementia Poetry (71)

Here lies a broken man
Heart shattered and torn
Broken from the woman he loved
She was his rose, she, his thorn
He fell so deep that
The oceans depth couldn't measure his love
She treated him like an option
He thought she was sent from above
The love he held for her
Is rare and hard to find
Because she meant everything to him
To him, their love was divine
But why would a man who fell so deeply
Want a woman who didn't show the same
It was because he took her words to heart
And he felt with her, his heart was safe
And her beautiful lies he wanted to hear
They made him feel wanted and desired
But when he needed her
She made excuses, and he believed the liar
He believed because he was naive
And held on to what was great in the beginning
Never knowing that his forever and always
Would soon be ending
So here lies a broken man
Betrayed by love, betrayed by his own emotions
A love that was so deep and pure
Broke him as he drowns in that ocean

I stand here, unbelieving, that real love could come my way
For surely I am not worthy, I've made so many mistakes
But throughout this journey, I've come to see the true me
And though I had given up on love, it was she
She came into my life, unexpectedly, and turned my world upside down
Brought a smile to my face, when I always wore a frown
She threw herself into my arms and immediately I rushed to catch her fall
But it was I who was falling, even though I had built these walls
And those walls came crashing with just a moment together
And I was left feeling weightless, as light as a feather
She came into my life, touched my soul, opened up my heart
And I surrendered my love unto her, my life, a fresh new start
A promise of hope, with so many shared smiles and memories
And each day we're apart, I just want her here with me
She is the one I have waited on, the love I had been searching for
So from this day forward I vow to cherish and love her, forever more

I have written about love, written about fate
I have written about war, written about hate
I have written about you, I have written about me
I have layed my heart out there for the world to see
I have bared my soul, never holding back
I have written about beauty and about my heart turning black
I have shared so much emotion, with so much depth
I have written about suicide when there was nothing left
And many years later, I write about truth
Of deception, tears, and letting go of you
I have written about dreams, and reoccurring nightmares
And many years later, they are still there
I have written about death, written about perfection
And what it is I see, when i see my reflection
A young boy with wild bewildering eyes
But like a flame doused with water, that too has died
I have learned from my mistakes, made a few more
It's like being trapped in a forever revolving door
I have put blood to pen, pen to paper
I have written about religion and forsaking the Maker
I have written with my tears falling down my cheek
I have written about being strong when I felt so weak
I have shared my fears with many, many others
But I know deep down inside, there's so much more to discover

You've always been lonely
You never learned to try
And now you're thinking if only
There was someone by your side

Look in the mirror
Do you see your reflection
Look inside your heart
And find your affection

You're never gonna learn
Never gonna learn if you

Cry yourself to sleep
You wake up in love
But you're in way to deep
No one cares, no one tries to see
They just tell you to
Cry yourself to sleep

When times are hard
And you feel that no ones around
Don't give up on love
It's still there to be found

So look in the mirror
And see your reflection
I can see it in your eyes
There's still so much affection

But you're never gonna learn
Never gonna learn if you

Cry yourself to sleep
You wake up in love
But you're in way to deep
No one cares, no one tries to see
They just tell you to
Cry yourself to sleep

Beautiful you, you know who you are
You're the only wish upon this shooting star
Beautiful you, don't seem so shocked
For it is I who has fell but tis is not my fault
Beautiful you, close your eyes, picture this
I hold out my arms, you embrace me, we share our first kiss
Beautiful you, may I and can I hold you forever
It's the roads we've traveled that has brought us together
Beautiful you, tell me, what does your heart desire
Because just the soft touch of your hand will set my soul on fire
Beautiful you, I do not know how this prose will end
But as soon as you're in my arms, is when my life begins

Again I am here, forgetting not what was done
Believing the lies from a snakes' silver forked tongue
No truth remains as the future seems bleak
So on my knees, hands folded, His guidance I seek
Lord help me heal this hole in my heart, it needs mending
For I have lost all compassion, no hand have I been lending
Withdrawn and without, within I am a torn soul
Reaching out for empty promises, reaching for something to hold
But instead I fall into despair and into lies
And I have been so closed off that even hope passes me by
Misery has become my constant companion, an unwanted best friend
And I am here seeking Your guidance for the beginning of an end
An end to the emotions of feeling like I don't belong
An end of the feelings of hate for those who have done me wrong
I want to once again love, wear my heart on my sleeve
But most of all I want to have faith, I want to believe
I want to be a role model for the little angel You gave unto me
My daughter, Arianna, the only one with love I see
I have sinned, and for that too, I ask for redemption
I know I am few of many, but in You, I wager my life's pension
Help me open my eyes now and, once again, see the beauty of this world
And to be a better father for the love of my life, my little girl.

A repressed memory makes itself known
I had buried it deep within because in pain it did grow
Nurtured by misery and strengthened with my tears
Of the loss of the one that I loved dear
My mended heart is starting to unravel
It's like being hit in the face with a fist full of gravel
Like a sickness in my stomach that tears my soul
Ripping apart everything I had left to hold
I should have been there when you needed me most
But now I'm haunted by your restless ghost
That night you left with a smile on your face
But quickly that memory would be replaced
I heard the sirens, then the screams of our friends
I did not know that this night your life would come to an end
What if I had done this, what if I had done that
So many times I've asked this but there's no going back
It should've been me, I wish I could take your place
Instead of having to remember that last smile upon your face

I can't help but stare at the ceiling
Consumed by emotions that I don't want to be feeling
An anger consumes me, thinking of your words
Are you trying to break me by making me hurt
You leave me speachless, numb to the bone
As I sit here waiting and waiting, only to be alone
My anger grows fierce as depression sets in
Cause here I am, waiting on you yet again
How can you say you love me and stay away
Makes no sense to me, no matter how you try to explain
My hope for us grows dim, every passing hour
A man, once so sweet, has started turning sour
I don't want to be that man, I fight it everyday
But as I keep sitting here waiting, my heart fades away

Alone on the park bench she sits
Wishing for a second chance on love
Her husband, long gone
Called early to the Lord above
And though she misses him dearly
It's been six years in the past
Since her romance turned to tragedy
You never know how long things will last
So she lives like there's no tomorrow
Her heart ready for a second chance
Her mind swimming with thoughts
She gets lost in its trance
She thinks back to the times
Of her mom and dad, her childhood home
Seeing her mom go through the abuse
Her dad, breaking her bones
But she regrets not the past
For it made her a stronger woman today
And even when things got dark
She never forgot to pray
It's her blind faith that keeps her going
Knowing not what tomorrow may hold
Never doing anyone any harm
Knowing that it may come back ten fold
She knows that she's beautiful
Because inside her heart, she's unique
She's like a rare flower
That has gathered together in a boutique
She comes to this park because
She likes the way the wind caresses her face
And the beauty of nature
In her eyes, takes shape
Only thing missing is love
Someone to hold her hand, make her smile
And she will keep sitting here waiting
Knowing that when it comes, the wait will be worthwhile

you are my moon
you are my star
you are the love
that flows within my heart
you are my sun
on a cloudy day
you are my shelter
when it starts to rain
and just when i give up
you become my voice
constantly reminding me
that i have a choice
you are my window
you help me to see
that we belong together
just you and me

Face the day, face the moment
Could not see these tears
Here I am, solemnly seeking
A comfort from my fears
In these days I cry out in anger
My voice not recognized
Is it me or have I fallen
From your sight

I need to know if it's gonna be
Forever like this between you and me
It's a constant struggle for my faith
And I want to believe
So here I am, please take my hand
Lead me into your arms
Cause right now I need a shoulder
I need a shoulder

People say that time is wasting
Just living for today
Cause we're not promised tomorrow
Tomorrow is too far away
In these days I cry out in anger
My voice not recognized
Oh God look down upon me
For I am blind

I need to know if it's gonna be
Forever like this between you and me
It's a constant struggle for my faith
And I want to believe
So here I am, please take my hand
Lead me into your arms
Cause right now I need a shoulder
I need a shoulder

Just a thought away from suicide
I have one foot in the grave
And though I yearn to live my life
I'll never recover from my mistakes
God may forgive me for my sins
But I can't take that chance
Because I've done too much, thus far
And my mind's dizzy from the devils dance
My sins weigh heavy on my heart
And my life's as scarred as my wrists
With this knife in my hand, I cut one more time
To watch the blood flow, I couldn't resist
This world is fading, it is getting dark
And my eyes are beginning to close
Could I have ever made something of myself
But now it's too late and I'll never know