K_Ann_70 Poetry (23)

There you go again
Drifting into my thoughts
I was doing just fine: daydreaming
As the light of the TV reflected off of
My glazed eyes
Is someone speaking?
I don't hear the words of these
Real people
Pretending
I hear the sound of your guitar
I see you
In sky blue
Strumming a song out of me
Now I sit here with
Hooded eyelids
A sly grin on my
Stained lips
As thoughts of you
Become more and more
Vivid
Warm
And this four-year-old
Sauvignon
Slowly
Disappears




K_Ann_70
Copyright 2019

When you share your every thought
The sound of your voice grates my nerves
A rake scraping pavement
As much as you love me
I am that much indifferent
Plus one ounce
To you

You betrayed me
Abandoned
Rejected
Abused me
You cried when you apologized
And I believed you every time
I don't believe you anymore
The water doesn't flow
Without my participation

Old and sick now, bitter
From the cold life you've built
For yourself
Guilt-ridden by the ruin, pain
You've caused
Solace once gained
From my love, devotion
Has yielded to gratitude
For you know how concerned I am
For my own soul

I cannot lay with you as a wife
With her lover
I will not support you
Like a best friend
I do not hear you
Because you don't listen
I see you clearly
Now that my heart is no longer yours
You've done too much
I will stay with you
In this solitary union
And practice domestic civility
Until I can leave
Certain you are not harmed
By my absence

Misunderstand nothing -
There is no hope
For reconciliation
All chances for rediscovered love
Were diluted then washed away
By your crocodile tears
And the venom from your lies
My complicated conscience
Drives my simple longings
For restorative sleep
Genuine smiles
And reciprocated love

In my dream
I closed my eyes
And kissed you
It was all I wanted
In that moment
You were all I wanted
Wanting you
In every moment
In every day
Of my life

A white and tan Pomchi
I adopted from the pound
Some days my only buddy
With big gorgeous eyes of brown
His fur is soft and shiny
He stands one foot off the ground
A playful little joker
He just loves his Mama's lap
A whispered, "Come 'ere, boy"
And he jumps up just like a cat
He springs upon my king high bed
I must hop up to mount
Then licks his paws and rubs his head
And sleeps there in a round
I must admit he got it honest
From two cats that I once had
They taught him how to tip the garbage
And chew open the bag
I once was married, my husband envied
This mutt that paid no bills
He said, "That pup must go!"
I said, "You'll go before he will."
In a day my hubby packed his bags
Suitcases on the floor
I whispered, "Get him, boy"
Dude barked that bum right out the door
Never fickle or finicky like a feline
But just as agile and very lucky
Once he cocked his leg inside
And we played dodge and ducky
Of course he won - he hid for a time
Then resurfaced, tail between his legs
He licked my calf, sat and smiled
For forgiveness he doesn't beg
I pat my lap, he pounced right up
With kisses for my neck
My dog-cat, cat-dog.
A good ole boy, yes indeed
He keeps at bay the jerks and strays
And warms my ice cold feet
Good boy!

Something was stolen from me
I drove a long distance, then walked to a bridge
Just to possess it once again
At the mouth of the bridge,
Long with rusted steel slants,
My lost possession was forgotten
I had gone too far to hold on to something
Insignificant
Now fearful that I had wasted the time and energy
Desperately needed to continue my journey
Over this red river
I realize I cannot cross it without help
Curious strangers come to my aid
Comforting me with petting smiles
I look ahead for the ride abroad
Song lâu Long Bien!

Are men from Mars?
It must be true
Just like the planet
everything she needs from him
is below the surface
The thinnest air and
pressure so low
she can barely catch her breath
when he is near
His freezing Martian temperament,
a cold that shields him
in back-alley battles
from broken things,
can only be warmed
by her hot Venusian passion
The flame in her eyes
melts ice caps in this place
His heart is there
Waiting

Women are from Venus?
This orb so similar to the
one with which you
are familiar
Yet, vastly different
in ways that
explain
why you often
feel smothered
By-product breath
three thousand feet
underwater
leaves you
drowning
by design
Women must be from Venus
Morning or evening stars all
the same
these volcanic emotions
lava-hot
fuel the passion
-flames in her eyes-
that say you are wanted
with a look, smile
a touch only for you
You see yourself
in her clouds
the first mirrors for so many
past
now
tomorrow

Nothing to do, nowhere to go
Summer has passed, soon it will snow
The honey has settled to an amber glory
In the kitchen I'll prepare a story
for the senses: the smells, the taste
the feel on the tongue
You'll be drawn to the scents
I'm certain you'll come

A soft butter dough for the lightest of biscuits
Onto my board while it is stickiest
A dark, rich rue in the pan with some broth
for this gravy, the recipe has no auth
The tender roast has rested, ready for dissection
I've kneaded and stirred a meal of perfection

For dessert? A sweet treat paired with coffee or wine
An apple-cheese tart with crust flaky and fine
A meal fit for lovers: there'll be moaning and sighing
Kneading and stirring, love-making through dining

these words in my head
they swirl and create mist
like water down a flushed bowl
my head's fulla sh#!
seeking, seeking a convo that's real
can't get it at home, can't get it in here
frustrates the soul to be
fearless alone
halfass answers to simple questions
a 'yes' a or 'no'
will do fine, and put a dimple
in this armor
hand-crafted: it's sturdy
it's heavy, grimy
reliably mine
yearning for the soft colors of dusk
to remove this shell,
sleep naked,
and dream of more

the first thing a woman
notices about him are his hands
big enough to wrangle the wildest filly
if she lets him
strong hands
that can hold and warm her
make her quiver when he touches
the back of her neck

no average horseman
this one let's the ladies
come to him
he's known for many lifetimes
not to show fear
his instincts are his guide to
magical places
warm and wet spaces
where comfort and empathy are
as real as his rejected
disappointed
pain

she knows he'll break her heart
he told her as much
after the first time
he knows when
he touched her
with those hands
he healed her heart
she felt loved

the first time will be the last
if she gets too close
with abstract words
love
intimacy
forever
that which cannot be touched
are threats to his
fragile heart
the horseman's hands
no longer greet and please
now five-fingered stop signs
warning her to stay away

silence tide
waves of comfort
soothe my ears
cool my soul
wash my heart
liquid quiet
with closed eyes
some imagine death
dark and still
dormancy mine
transcendence
welcome
spirit released
to wander
explore
return
wringing wet
with rejuvenation
in perfect balance
ready to battle
on this
desert dry
clamorous
land

seven years old
untapped talent
passion
even then
do you remember?

we met and
with every scale
i touched
88 generations of
my past
my future
they were all familiar
and loved me
as i loved them

with every chord
the whole world
became more faint
thundering applause
a whisper
never a desire
to return
my joy and comfort
with you
as you translate
to the world
the melodies of my heart
my soul

no dance
close and slow
fast and spaced
compares to
my dances with you
i reach for you
you receive me
welcome me
accept me
take whatever i give
and ask only
for a song
in return

you are not
forgotten
life's pain
despair
lonliness
bitterness
never held me

you never let me go
my old, dear friend
my piano