trurorob Poetry (67)

There are times
When I feel an affinity
With an old forgotten book
Dusty and worn
With a sad pitted cover
Where the elements and time
Have taken their toll
The chapters of my life
Make no great reading
Like the book
Neither of us is a classic
But we both have a story
To tell
In pages so steeped
Within sadness and sorrow
As great bitterness and regret
Weep from both our spines
And the glue
Which for so long
Bound us both
To our own existence
Had deteriorated
Beyond all recognition
But more than any other thing
The final two words
Of both our journeys
Remain true and constant
“The End”

There are many things
As I look around my apartment
That are old, decrepit, dusty and worn
I shall hire myself a skip
And throw them all into yesterday
Where they all belong
As relics of the past
Myself included

My soul seeks its final destination
Is ataraxia so far beyond my vision?
This journey has taken me so long
Psiturism, I sit and await your song
I look upon the clouds of Nacreous pearl
Is my destiny so linked to Cosmogyral?
Do the storms of nature rule my future?
Aeolian! Aeolian!
Let your soothing breath sooth my suture

How long can I live in reminiscence
Am I not to find that eternal bliss?
I know I have scorned to be reverent
But are not my passions so less fervent
Yet the tenuous threads that bind my sin
Seem to me to remain ever gossamer thin

Do we arrive?
Screaming from the womb
Maybe to most
It hardly seems like
A fleeting moment ago
How the fruitless years
Take a vengeful toll
On many a wasted life
We should set a time to die
Like Sunday week at 2pm
And concentrate fully on living
Until then

How the nerve ends would sharpen
As each wasted moment annoyed
A little more than the one before
How the eyes would sparkle
When set before outrageous beauty
Then suddenly
Change to panic
At the wanting more

Would we be decisive?
About all our daily decisions
Or would we throw them away
Like old this and that
Where the sell by date
Lingered in the past

How would we choose?
Between this and that?
Would we try to please others?
Or seek a more obscure comfort
Hidden under a favourite hat

And when the appointed time came
Would we say?
I have far too much to do
I think I’ll leave it
For another week or two

Or
Would we be content?
By Sunday week at 2pm

The rains came
As so often they do
Filled with heavy monotony
Landing where your footsteps
Had gently crushed the grass

You are no longer with us
But the paths you trod
On your life’s journey
Still remain
Always reminding us
That once you was here

Our emotions lie
As crushed as the grass
But that will find re-growth
And eventually
Cover the history
That you left behind

We have done our weeping
It did not fall
Like the monotony of the rain
It was as gentle as you
All you had to give was love
And it came in abundance

In all of our minds
Now your memory fades
As if blown like dust
In a howling wind
To settle elsewhere

And the rains came again
Once more in that monotony
Of abundance

Yet your photo
Which could not
Be dimmed
Will remain
To us
Perfectly clear

I sit between two circles
On a bench cast in iron
Pitted with age and memories
Beneath my feet lie
Paths of crazy paving
Trying to mock
All that is order in life
A grassed outer circle
Sits sheltered by trees
Each of differing hues
Rooted to life
Fighting for space
In a genetic battle
Where light
Is their only master
Small insects travel
Hither and thither
Searching for existence
But never sure
Where it may lie
But seeming to understand
That it is here somewhere



The small inner circle
Is ringed in iron spears
Sharp and erect
Like a guard of honour
Flowers form a barricade
To the inner sanctum
Grateful for the wisps
Of life giving spray
Repaying their dues
With an abundance of colour
A small fountain
Cascades back into itself
With that soft caress
Only water can exude
Mesmerising my thoughts
Spreading its gentle fall
Over my very being
Until I seem to reach
A state of pure peace
It is only here
For that moment in time
That life
Stalls

My face is a map
That traces, so accurately
The journey
Of my life
Like old roads
Carved out of hope
Trying to lead somewhere
Now tired and worn
Always remaining
Beyond repair
Fading into the past
Before the journey
Had barely travelled
Lightly trodden paths
Often fondly remembered
For that one single moment
When they crossed
Each other’s destiny
They left such little trace
But measured together
Provide so many memories
Of long lost desires

The ravines of past loves
So very deep
Etched from sadness
As ever growing rifts
Drifting further apart
Wrenched from pain
And scarred with sorrow
With impassable rivers
Born of tears
That had bled
From eyes
That had seen
Futility

But hope
Is an emotion
Where desires
Can see further
Than futility
For this map
Has one last space
To be fulfilled
And complete
The journey of life
And when that final river
Crosses my face
And flows
Into nothingness
All I will ever know
Is it will never
Be as deep
As yours

For many weeks
I searched high and low
Among soggy cheese sandwiches
Covered with a green dough
Under the bed
With an amount of trepidation
But only found a refugee
From some far off Nation
I checked every drawer
In my very tall chest
And found another refugee
In a very dirty white vest
Behind the sofa
Amidst a furore of dust
No bottle of love
Just a mouldy old pie
With a very hard crust
I searched the kitchen
Though staring evil eyed potatoes
And a mountain of old greens
Then found it hiding
Behind a decrepit tin of beans
I drank with a lust
Hoping to find my lost mate
Then noticed the bottle
Was ten years out of date
My stomach churned
And my blood did boil
And next my trousers
I really did soil
So there is a moral
To a sad and lonely tale
Stick to the sell by date
Or your love life will fail

My inbox said, connecting singles you have new mail
My toes curled, the rush of blood made my face pale
Who could it be? Had someone enjoyed my smile?
Was my search over after many an endless mile

I quietly connected with an unsteady trembling hand
That feeling of emptiness vanished to some other land
The red lit button seemed to mesmerise my gaze
My eyes misted over in tears involuntary haze

My new beginning was just one click away
Oh how I sought for this to be our lifelong day
With hope and trepidation your message I read
How I wished you would be the butter for my bread

Helo, how isn’t you, I do not like alcohol or smoke
I see your profile, it say you pretty nicey bloke
I look for love it say you want to do the sames
Pay my fares pleese, I meet you when comes on trains

I much height womens my years older is twenty eight
I comes to you me nevers turns over late
Much love for yous it says pleads my hart
Plees to reply to ******.com for our massage to start

Could this be it my mind said with a bounding plea
I felt so weak I virtually sank onto one knee
My tattered heart pleaded you was not another scam
Another lonely night spent with a plate of chips and spam

The letter lay alone
In a mailbox red with rust
Its loneliness apparent
By the layers of forgotten dust
The envelope tinged yellow
As time wished to show its age
The corners bent and crinkled
As if it tried to escape the cage

But love is not your kingdom
When the castle has no moat
And passion will never sail
When rejection sank the boat
So once again his eyes did cast
Upon the bleak and yellowed note
That lay within the mailbox
Seeming to bear a cruel wry gloat

It bore no stamp or postmark
That sense of barren to the mind
Yet it smelt so slightly scented
The sense of an emotional bind
He clasped it tightly to his chest
In pleading hope of a stirring rush
But love will still lie unrequited
When devotion is a one way crush

Maybe someday you will come my way
In the passing wind where two hearts can play
To seek life’s journey fed by loves lust
Creating dreams that could not turn to dust

Travelling the oceans driven by need
Two thirsty hearts that no longer wish to bleed
I look out my window to glimpse your smile
I feel your impending closeness mile after mile

What passion drives me to risk all for bliss
Passing moments hope to capture a stolen kiss
Does the wind of chance carry my thoughts of hope?
Could horse drawn chariots crest the slippery slope?

Would the winds of time change my thoughts?
Are those precious moments of desire ever caught?
Would a passing clouds whispers capture my wish?
You in my arms that absolute pure heavenly bliss

How I long and yearn for your sparkling eyes
Captured like stars in the night time skies
Your ruby red lips in sunsets orange lights glow
Would entrance my passion and loving gift flow

Then maybe some day I will see your glimmer
In a desert storm cast in lights hazy shimmer
But until that day my heart will always wait
For everlasting passion standing at true loves gate

I gathered
All of the loneliness
And laid it to rest
In a tomb
Named “Hope”
So many attended
To say their
Last goodbyes
And wish
A final adieu
To a now
Forgotten emotion
Who had haunted
Them for so long
They smiled
And caressed
With hands
That could
Now feel a future
The tomb
Named “Hope”


I gathered
All I could
Of life’s emptiness
And sealed it
In a bottle
Named “Desire”
And set it adrift
In the sea
Named “Tranquillity”
Never more
To again
See the shores of life
So many attended
To bid their
Last goodbyes
And wash away
An unwanted fear
Who had journeyed
With them for so long
But now
Was cast aside
Like he’s brother
Who lay
In a tomb
Named “Hope”

And of all
My gatherings
The most that
Brought me comfort
Was “Despair”
For my journey
Had finally allowed
Me to cast aside
This
The most destructive
Of my Demons
And once again
I could taste
“Life”