soquiliquay Poetry (105)

Tears can`t reflect the pain felt during loss

Nor can the sinking of the heart

Or the silence that clings to you and coats your world

If time can heal all wounds, let this one, bringing with it, good memories in place of bad.

A lights` gone out, leaving flame to follow.

Loose your way, think of him, he is your guide into the future.

There is nothing anyone can say more than you, than what he meant to this world and leaves behind.

His legacy grows not for the world, but for you, who loved him.

The cockroaches scurried across the floor
What, she told herself, is there, more

Must we marry for circumstance
Or give love a chance

Love is always put aside
For expensive things and a fancy ride

What life can be lived so long
Side by side with someone so wrong

Today it's the same
Grasping for borrowed fame

When will we open our eyes
Touch hearts and stop all trace of lies

We'll say things we really mean
Go back to nature, bodies lean

Thunder and lightning may erupt but not scare
Naked dancing while unaware

The vermin may forever crawl our floors
But together we do our chores

To love as time started
Before hate, power, greed and shallow waters had us parted.

We all ask why, to learn something our brains don't currently hold. But there are a lot of whys that we do know, and it hurts. For me, there's thousands of them, and they bring tears, and this empty feeling in my heart. Hope is gone, is always has been and if it remains on this path, it'll always be gone. So, instead of asking someone who's obligated to give a positive answer because he's my dad and loves me, I'm asking you.
Why do you want an airbrushed dumb blonde with DDs? Why do you turn from me, ignore me, insult me, hurt me?
For those of you who hurt me in the past, having met me, why did you waste so many years of my life when I could've done the things you knew I wanted? Did you think I didn't deserve to be happy? Maybe you saw the why in me too, the why bother? I'm no flawless blonde, that's been touched by an angel. I crave stimulating conversation and it's so hard to find in the land of beer and murdered deer.
Why can't you accept me, for me? Love me for me? I do, sometimes. But the same old thing, I see myself. My hair isn't golden, I don't want it to be. It's part of me, and I, it. I'm no trophy, or arm candy or some Quasimodo to pull out of a drawer to entertain your fake friends. I hurt from your unknowing, uncaring neglect.
Why do you sneer at the poor broken hearted who may just have so much to offer you, in love, in companionship, in freedom of judgement?
The media depicts the ideal woman as 90 pounds of breasts with platinum blonde hair, no substance and a sex tape. Why is this who you want to false love?
Why not love me in my frail fears, my powers of random goofing off and warm hugs?
Why can't I have my slice of heaven and the pie to go with it?
Why can't you love, want, desire, need, yearn, crave…the entirety of me?
We're not all plastic Barbie dolls, with no hopes…but we really are running out of what hope is left…and some of us, are running out of time for what we really need.

Finger top to finger top
Stopping just to wave hello
My little feet will make you laugh
As I go about my trek

I'm small and bold
and love dancing
on your skin
I cleanse often
to be pretty for you

I enjoy the stories the grooves in your knuckles tell.
Hearing your giggle makes me happy.
Your voice a gentle bell.

I am your friend for now
we are fleeting
our lives short
But here we are to dance the lady's dance
for you.

Sometimes being down for indefinite amounts of time
Help me see beyond the film of oppression.
Clearly visible, life's different shades.
Let me fall, in order to learn and grow from the experiences I take with me on the way back up.
I may silently ask for your faith and your love if you have any to give, but I'm not holding my breath.
Hate is like a fire, consuming all that it touches and you reek of it from your shallow lakes of ice.
So
Let me fall. I don't require your flimsy support.

We are left counting stars
Waiting for symmetry to collide with change
We're always disappointed
When nothing stays the same
Sadly, we're also disappointed when they change.
Not even stars remain constant.
Let's flow.

Years ago, in a time that left me always warm and safe, I remember the cold vividly.
The snow was deep and coated everything it seemed.
Including the deer just outside the door.
They stood against the wind using the trees as a breaker, the snow as blankets to keep their body heat from escaping.
I feared for their safety, wishing I could invite them in and offer hot cocoa to warm their insides.
But I knew, oh yes, I knew, that in any weather they’d brave it with an inner strength that I hoped one day I’d find for myself.

I cried a tear for you the other night
Inside the water, shed for your pain
Was a tiny piece of the perfect we almost could've had
It lingered on my cheek as I saw glimpses of who we were
Like two people living separate lives together
Fighting what we really felt
If I cry again, would you have that Disney twinkle in your eye
As you slowly wipe my tear away
And tell me, in whimsical terms, that you love me anyway?
No, you can let me cry. There's a little perfection in every tear we let fall.

I cried a tear for you the other night
Inside the water, shed for your anger
Was a tiny piece of who you were trying to let out
The tear glistened on my nose as I remembered the times I saw that man
Like three people living in a claustrophobic home
Causing chaos unknowingly
One too many lies pushing the envelope of self destruction
If I stop for just one long moment, could we be alone
With just us, no need for words to be spoken...
Like deafening rain on a dark night drowning out the noise
Everything needing to be said, in the silence
Maybe we won't need to stop, we'll let the others go
Finally living our lives the way we wanted to in the beginning

I cried a tear for you the other night
Inside the water, shed who you really are
You've become the you, you started out to be
The tear slid down to my lip, as I felt pride seeing you, reborn
Like an awakening after a long dark sleep
Everything having been on pause
Now starting once again
No need to stop time, no need to cry
No need to be silent
But love, we can still cause chaos.
Within our tears, we cry perfection.

If you give me a river
I'll fight it until I cry

If you give me a rose
I'll let it wilt

If you give me a song
I'll shut it out

If you give me light
I'll live in darkness

If you don't blame me
I will

If you don't hate me
I will.

If you think I'm beautiful
I won't.

If you give me a ring
I'll feel undeserving

If you give me a hug
I'll push you away

If you tell me it's going to be OK
I'll know the truth every day

If you give me courage
I'll break down

If you give me a hug
I'll lose myself

If you give me your heart
I'll be too afraid to take it

If you love me
I won't

Let's go back to there
That place where we didn't hate each other
Back before our roads were lined with innocent blood
To a time we don't remember today

Let's go back to there
That place where we loved without restraint
When respect was earned, not given
To a time we want to forget

Let's go back to there
When we listened to the wise trees, the knowing water, animals who know truth
When we lived in purity and felt it all around in our world
To a time we need to return to

Let's go back to there
When we spent time with our family, shared our bread, knew how to mourn
Back before bigger was better, and super-size happy-meals were the norm
To a time we don't remember how to live in

Let's go back to there
When living with the earth, not exploiting the earth kept us in harmony
Back to our community, our tribe
To a time we have no room for anymore

Time erased you like it's always done.
But you keep returning much to my chagrin.
Like the Texas Cyclone, it's a ride that leaves things messy at the end.
Paying what I have left, going into debt to repair your turbulent storms.
Lungs cease to breath the air you've taken, heart fails to beat, giving life to what you want to revive.
My skin crawls at the thought of you touching my sensitive wounded places.
I am a tropical rain forest and you're a hot African lake parched, cracked, unyielding.
No more sacrifices. No more death to feed your fire.

The letters you've sent over the years go unread now, but not burned. No, not yet.
I'll never read them anymore, they'll sit there turning yellow. They'll curl and warp, like your mind.
These pages over time will remind me, who anyone is capable of being. Better. But sometimes, we're not stronger to get better yet.

There's a feather, and it's floating in the air
And a feather's just a feather, it doesn't really care
There you sit serenely, as if you hadn't any stress
but a feather's just a feather, you're responsible for this mess
Your world may crumble, bring you to your knees,
But a feathers' just a feather, floating in the breeze
Nothing can hold you up, you're like rubber on the ground
And a feather's just a feather, or at least that's what I have found
You can sit there, looking up, lost, crying
But a feather's just a feather, flying
To make sense of all this, just listen to its words
For a feather's just a feather, and it came from mighty birds
There's a whisper in the air, it says float with me
For a feather's just a feather, as it aught to be
It's really just that simple.