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Top Ten Reasons Why I do NOT have a Photograph of Myself

I do not have a photograph of myself because:


The plastic surgery has not set yet.


Sony and Google are fighting over the copyright.


Everytime that I point the lens at my face it explodes.


Everytime that I tell the telephone to take my picture, it scurries away on its vibrations as fast as it can screaming for "help".


I cannot find the slot to put the film in the telephone.


If I try to take my picture using the mirror it forms a cross out of its legs and points it at me as a shield, sulks and refuses to reflect me screaming "Vampire" repeatedly.


Both National Geographic & Time Life claim to have lost the negatives.


When the fixative sees my likeness on the photographic paper it self combusts and burns the print.


The plastic surgeon has placed an injunction for copyright on my face and will not release it until I pay his bill and sign over 55 % of the royalties.


As I have not fully woken up and engaged my brain yet, like the woman who has not yet decided which day of the month it is and dress to wear, I have not decided which face to wear yet.


If you are so shallow, inflexible or insecure that you cannot see the pictues painted by my words you are of no interest to me so please keep on walking.


Sex? That was to hook you in and pique your curiosity. And obviously if you can count over ten you have skill complementary to mine.....come talk!

Comments (7)

  • FrayedBear
    FrayedBearOP Sep 2012 Melbourne, Victoria Australia

    This list gives CS the avenue to sell advertising to plastic surgeons. If they were generous, they would give me a commission.

  • Brianebartlett
    Brianebartlett Feb 2014 Burlington, Ontario, Ontario Canada
    Not bad. I think that you should not be judged on a`s the person, personality that should be judged or rated, I felt the same way...I didn`t want to post a photo either at the beginning, it was that I wasn`t getting any action in here without one, nothing much has changed with the photo either, no difference at all. Stick to your decision. If women need a photo to judge you, then they`re very shallow people, prejudiced, not worth even bothering with, some women here don`t have their photos in here either, but want to see yours first before you see theirs. I think it should work both ways.

    I really liked viewing your list, don`t change a thing.
  • M1ck1e
    M1ck1e Feb 2014 In, Massachusetts USA
    4. Everytime that I tell the telephone to take my picture, it scurries away on its vibrations as fast as it can screaming for "help". rolling on the floor laughing love it!
  • Brianebartlett
    Brianebartlett Feb 2014 Burlington, Ontario, Ontario Canada
    You forgot the most important one for men in general ...I'm (me) Ugly!!!

    No girl wants to be seen with a puss like this. I didn`t want to put mine in either, wanted to be judged by personality only, Yes I agree with your list. You took a lot of time and care to construct this fine creation.

    Has any girls/women seen this list. I hope they do, I wonder if the reverse is true also.

    How about a Why or Why not list for them also.

    Let`s start a Why or why not list on why we should date/marry them as well.

    Good job...thanks.
  • Brianebartlett
    Brianebartlett Jun 2014 Burlington, Ontario, Ontario Canada
    Maybe I shouldn't have a photograph of myself either, I might get some interests from the women on what I look like. If the profile doesn't seem interesting then it wouldn't matter anyway.

    If however they like the profile it might show interest to see who's behind it. A lot of women might reject a good profile because they don't like the photo.

    I agree with your thinking 100%, I had no photo too, when I started off in here, but was told that you'd get more responses with one, so I put it in, and I don't think it improved the situation much. I think it's the profile that impresses the women, but then some women are more interested in looks.

    I would stick with the status quo if I were you. Your reasoning is very valid reasons.
  • Brianebartlett
    Brianebartlett Jul 2014 Burlington, Ontario, Ontario Canada
    You should ask 10 reasons why I do have a photograph of myself in these forums. Sometimes I wonder why.
  • xneppyHidden Profile
    xneppyHidden Profile Dec 2016 mansfield, Nottinghamshire, England UK
    I'm just a Glutton for punishment. But also think its best to show myself up in my case as in the unlikely event that some woman might want to meet me....I don't want to be responsible, For a panic attack or coronary on her part....

    But as i'm a decent chap,, I'm here to help give the average bloke a better chance LOL
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