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10 reasons i fell for a jerk

So i fell for this jerk, right? and he left me with a wedding almost completely planned, a 6 week old daughter, and a broken heart... wanna know why he got me hooked?
1

the way he makes me laugh, even when i wanna cry.

he had the best sense of humor ive ever seen. damn it.
2

the way he was never afraid to say what was on his mind.

he was always a little TOO mouthy, but i loved it.
3

the way he called me baby.

i can still hear his voice in my head. that bastard.
4

the way he protected me.

no one could ever piss me off without having him stepping up. and hes a pretty big dude.
5

the way he flirted with me.

even after being together 3 years, he still hit on me.
6

the way he kissed me.

they are the only lips ive known for 3 years, and they fit perfectly with mine.
7

the way he always knew what was going on in my head.

no matter how hard i tried to hide it, he always knew what was wrong.
8

the way he talked about me.

his family loved me, and i always got to hear how in love he was.
9

the way he KNEW me.

every inch of my body, mind and soul.
10

the way he turned into my best friend.

so many laughs and good times. he was my friend for 3 years before we dated, and he turned into my best friend. the only person i needed in life.

i miss him every single day, more and more with every breath i breathe. even though i know he doesnt deserve a minute of my time, i would give him every second i had. f**ker.

Comments (41)

LuckyBonnie
mjames hit the nail on the head. It is never about "he makes me feel wonderful". Any sociopath can do that. Heck, even Hitler had a lover! It's all about character. Look up the qualities of a good character. Set your standards higher - you'll only get what you'll settle for in life. And no more children until you have time to become fully adult!
said123
douchebag is a wrong name to choose for such nice person whom YOU probably didn't deserve to have !!
natchez
Sorry Kid lifes a b*tch I hope it all works out for
you its his loss and you gotta let it go or it will
eat you up. I imagine I have been as hurt as you ,
she left for a drug dealer me with 2 kids so I know of
what I speak. Its taken 4 yrs for me to REALLY laugh again
but I do and you can

Good Luck
Pete
dennis633
just break his legs that what we do send around a couple of hard men
talkmaster
r u serious , i fallen too , but i hate these , woman , now i see all the bs , people working on weak links yea , i am garbge , but clean stuff , adios
tarapapp
I'm with alphanso; I'm a skeptic.

If he loved you and left, you, maybe I could accept that he was a caddy jerk. But HIS FAMILY TOLD YOU HE LOVED YOU. If he was a liar, he would like to the women; if he was a player, he would play the women; but he had no motivation to play and lie to his family. AND in the rare occasion that he did lie to his own family and payed them, he certainly would not have been successful at it. You were in love, so it's easy to play someone in love. But his family was not in love, so they weren't blinded. Plus, they knew him for a verly long time, practically for all his life.

In light of the above, I accept that you are in pain, but I don't accept the unconditional support of the other respondents and commenters to your blog, who say or insinuate that the guy was an a**hole.

I say he was quite a nice guy, from what you wrote. A player does not stick with one woman for three years, for no particular reason. A liar ditto, and a scammer, ditto.

I am not blaming you, I don't know what happened, but I am just saying that at this point in the story, you are just as suspect to bear the blame for the brake-up as he is.
slim43
men are just like women work it out love
darnellaaronm
Wow all I can say is : This piece is powerful!!!!!!
venusenvy
Time is a great healer and the best revenge is living well wine
fleur1968
i know exactly how feel. really.
crazysexycool123
Word for word...I feel ur pain. Well put. Well felt.
rashomon
mjames got it right. It was all about the way he made you feel.
You should move on. A person who seems to understand you and care about you so much and in such a unique way, but then leaves you alone with a six week old child is just not worth a single thought. Think of yourself now. In the end you make the choices that matter. Good luck :)
ladiii886
whoa!!!

and i thought what happened to me was ratshiit.

"sorri!", and time does heal!
alfanso1
I am sorry to hear ,but there is two sides to a story ,something went wrong
mjames
I re read your comments and you are the one that did this; you are acting like this was so magical but it wasn't. He wasn't what you thought he was; you only heard and believed what you wanted to about him. He probably was cheating and just didn't want to be into this that much.

Many young girls fall into this trap; they dont' go by what is, they go by "feelings". Obviously this wasn't very good for him or he'd say.

Many guys will say whatever they want; it's obvious you were so into him it bordered on worship and that's not good to let someone have that much power over you.

You still are not over him, still think he's wonderful, and still are going to be sad into thinking that. Actions speak louder than words and his words spoke his true feelings and showed who you are to him. I'd move on and learn from this. good luck
imready69
honey --the sewer--is full of douchbags---get over it ---you will be a lot better and smell the flowers not the crap----been there --dawlin frustrated love doh banana professor yay
munaldo
No One" Can Go Back And Make A Brand New Start , But Anyone Can Start From Now And Make A Brand New Ending
gonzo111
Oh my god... get this through your head real quick... cause you seem nice. HE FK'D U OVER. He played all the right cards until you found his fatal flaw. HE FK'D U OVERRR! Worthless bastard to leave you with a planned wedding and a kid, he does not deserve your kind reminiscing about him!!!!!!! grr.
EssJay
Everything happens for a reason.....teddybear
BlainX
If he accomplished everything you listed for six years, then i'd say that chap ended up exhausted?



good luck
r23s45i60
it sounds to me like he was scared and did not feel like he was good enough for you. you have to realize that there is a life to live for your daughter and yourself. don't worry, things will work out for the both of you. i mean you and that beautiful baby of yours. god has a plan for you.
sparkyz
I'm sorry beautiful.I'm kinda goin through my own pain with a breakup.we didn't have children together{too old for that:we both have our own}but we did get married.Life has a way of turning around in a sec.You have to be strong for your child now.only time will heal your broken heart.divorce is even harder to go through.At least you won't have to deal with that.comfort
xUdyx
lots of young gals fall for douche bags cause they have low self esteem. How you let him treat you shows how much u respect yourself and how highly you hold yourself. If you accept anything less he will walk all over you til the very end.

I'd rather have a dweeb that adores and respects me than a cool badboy douche that treats me like a disposable napkin.
arwen612
I know what you mean...that sense of humour, the ability to read your mind... psychic connection...something had to have gone wrong, but you didn't resort to that predictable lure of negating all that happened. That's quite a feat. Don't fall into the trap though of idealising and forgetting all the crap. He must of had some faults and I'm guessing they were pretty dire. If not, and I'm wrong then I suggest you try and sort it out. That sort of connection is truly difficult to find.
Champion55
This is really well written. I know the feeling. Heart ache sucks. Hope you feel better. Someday.
DForbiddenFruit
darling get your life staightened out and moved on if he didnt care for you back then he wouldnt care for you now or in the future . he's gonna read this and think dang i got her wraaped round my little finger didn't I. You don't want him thinking about that.If you think life is like a movie it aint in some circumstances but not all the time. Where is your pride as a woman. straighten your life out an move on. best luck to you and your baby.
Aquarina
First of all, are you on your mind. Affirm me dat 'am not wrong .... with a thought of yours to expect him to read this someday and reach out to you.

Well, u feel it, u better do it... meaning, catch him whereever he is and tell him that you need HIM and in case of another side of a coin; that being your anger and "0" understanding, try to change a bit to win him back.

After all, that cute baby needs ..... the father. I was just born and too late to stop my damn "DAD" Well, i've outgrown that to face and move on in life..wish me gud luck for i must make things better and better and better.......I wish u gudluck to stop all of us 2 sing the sadsong 4 ya but hear u both 2gder again.dancing rolling on the floor laughing yay
Smilerguy
Well i believe no One person can fulfill another (& i heard a pastor say that just before a wedding!) however two people can come close, it always happens more than once, ye take the lows wit the highs & have to carry on. Take care & GOOD LUCK dancing
hedistuff
sounds like you are both in love. plus a child!!! I would be little surprised if as you may be reading this, he is directly behind you. massaging the back of your head, as warm, tiny kisses fall upon your neck, head, and cheek.
mysteryman2009
Sorry that happend to you, guys can be douchebags and the more you love them the more you give them. You just got to think is using you and thats a sad statement but it works the same way for woman to though. I am really sorry hope things work out for the best, like my dad says they are a dime a dozen. Keep your head up up high, because if you don't you will miss the stars.
OUTRAGEOUS
I'm with mjames interpretation of your words. What you miss is how he made you feel. How did he influence your perception of your surroundings when you were with him.

YOur heart is in the right place. YOu are full of love. And you know exactly the kind of love you want. Be thankful for the time you had him...not a lot of people get to have and know love like that.

Heartache is very difficult to overcome, but it can be done. And at risk of sounding like a walking cliche, I'll say it will take time. But you will overcome this as you'll overcome everything that comes your way.

Sorry to tell you, but you'll miss him for a very long time, and everytime you look at your baby's face, you'll see him there. And he'll come back to you...only thing is, you won't be at the same place he left you...so he might not find you.

Just hang in there.

hug
hiitme
wow,and I thought that i was the only one. nice. hope you find it. xcheers
livinfablife
Sorry but didn't he left you and your baby. He broke heart and yet you write all these "sugary" stuffs about him.
Just don't get it. It's kindof an excuse for men to treat you like a doormat. Hope things work out for you and your daughter though.
teddybear
mjames
thanks again for your post; it was honest and sincere; I hope things work out for you; sorry that happened to you.
mjames
So what you are saying is that all the things a guy or even a player can do or say to make you feel special and feel wanted; the superficial things; got to you.

That is a warning to everyone. Love is action; not words or how someone makes you feel; it's what they do.

When we are in love; especially women; they are more into the feeling of it; how does this guy make me FEEL. Guys know this.

We also romanticize our relationships after they end; we make them out to be so much more magical and special then they really were. Many people cheat and use people and even have unprotected sex and have children then they bolt. Obviously it wasn't magical for them.

Anyone having unprotected sex is insane anyways but to possibly have a child with someone when you dont' absolutely know who they are is crazy.

Again, if someone tells you they love you but they are messing around with someone else, or not be there when they need to be, then they dont love you.

We all get caught up in feelings but love is much more than a warm and fuzzy feeling. It's actions and being there during are worst and most ugliest times. Hopefully character is a huge thing in all our choices. That will limit the mistakes.

Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
moodyblues
I'm sorry. I know - it hurts like hell. Do you want to say what happened?
littleone61480
wow , sorry best wishes
bobbin11
Great Piece, well thought out..... thank god you are only 20yrs old.... enjoy your daughter, think about tomorrow, dont dwell on yesterday.....
THERE WILL BE OTHERS...........
Damianowen
This is not the discription of a douchebag. Satisfy my curiosity. What happened?
Fallingman
I'm with Scubadiver on this one....really well written! thumbs up
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by jesskuhn
Created: Sep 2009
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