Top 10 'Signs Of Old Age' by Raytheon1

Oh lord, I got up this morning and my bones were poppin' so loud that I thought somebody was doing a 'driveby! Proceeded to the bathroom to shave and discovered all this lint on my face. Upon trying desperately to wipe it off discovered it wasn't lint, but rather 'white whiskers' I came to the startling realization...you're gettin' old buddy! Well I guess its bound to happen to all of us sooner or later, although most hope for later! I put together this humorous look at the physical travesty inflicted upon our bodies, hope you enjoy it! :) See you later, I've got to find my 'Geritol!'
1

The 'Three Minute Eggs'

The 'Three Minute Eggs'
You order three minute eggs and the waitress asks for the money in 'advance!'
2

The 'Bikini'

The 'Bikini'
You see a gorgeous girl in a bikini, and you offer her a 'sweater' because you believe her to be cold!
3

The 'Back'

The 'Back'
Your back goes 'out' more than you do!
4

The 'Faucet'

The 'Faucet'
A running faucet conjures up 'urges' to go to the bathroom!
5

The 'Record Player'

The 'Record Player'
Not only do you know what it is, but you also know how to 'operate' it!
6

The 'Stairs'

The 'Stairs'
You go up them just for the opportunity to hear 'heavy' breathing!
7

L.B.J.

L.B.J.
You recognize the three initials as 'Lyndon Baines Johnson', and not Le bron James!
8

The 'Teeth'

The 'Teeth'
They end up in a 'glass' of Polident every night!
9

The 'Rocking Chair'

The 'Rocking Chair'
You sit down in it, but can't get the damn thing 'going!'
10

'Asleep'

'Asleep'
You're asleep, but they actually think you're 'dead!'

Now.....umm....what was I going to say? Oh, had a 'Senior Moment' there. Anyway I hope that brought a smile to your day! Although we joke around about 'old age' senior citizens deserve our utmost respect as they're the ones that have paved the way for us. It's something we all most face, hopefully when that time approaches we can do it with 'dignity and grace!' :) Gotta go rub down with 'Icy Hot' see you later after ny nap!

Comments (13)

Jim_Bob
When friends sometimes pontificate about growing old and the related realities of ageing, I am always reminded of that famous writing of Dylan Thomas: 'Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night.'

While the poem is actually more concerned with death than growing old, there are lessons there to be learned that also apply to becoming elderly. For example, the opening line is as follows: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at the close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

My point (actually Dylan Thomas's point) is we should not just accept 'growing old' and slink off to a corner to die. Instead, we should "rage, rage against the dying of the light."

I interpret that to mean we should live life with gusto right up until the last minute. No excuses. No apologies.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
studecar
I am almost 95 and I still look for the crank on the telephone ! studecar professor
rent2own
Raytheon......I absolutely loved the first one.............so funny.

I wish you many more years of life, and with your sense of humor, I know even the bad things will be taken as something you can get through with a laugh and an " oh, well, stuff happens."

Best of everything to ya.


Larry
rolling on the floor laughing banana
Arturo666
Good one!
I can understand everything you are saying, with the possible exception of LBJ, I wouldn't put either suggested name to that, I would be trying to work out some new acronym that my kids use to keep me out of the converstion.

Think positive. Vinyl is making a comeback, grey hair is favoured by lots of women, falling alseep, just make it official and call it siesta.

As I quickly approach 67 I am even more determined to go out kicking and screeming. My life consists of attractive women, intersting travel, shiny new motorcycles, good food, good wine and an unswerving devotion to not letting my years catch up with my age!!!

Age I have found brings on benefits undrempt of when I was younger so there is hope for you yet Raytheon.
shabiu
you live in La but thought you might like this
Back When by Tim McGraw

Don't you remember
The fizz in a pepper
Peanuts in a bottle
At ten, two and four
A fried bologna sandwich
With mayo and tomato
Sittin' round the table
Don't happen much anymore

We've gotten too complicated
It's all way over-rated
I like the old and out-dated
Way of life

Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when

I love my records
Black, shiny vinyl
Clicks and pops
And white noise
Man they sounded fine
I had my favorite stations
The ones that played them all
Country, soul and rock-and-roll
What happened to those times?

I'm readin' Street Slang For Dummies
Cause they put pop in my country
I want more for my money
The way it was back then

Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when

Give me a flat top for strumming
I want the whole world a humming
Who just keep it coming
The way it was back then

Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when
raytheon1
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing Thank you so much! Those were good ones indeed. laugh
22W00
Haha! Oh dear so true, a couple of things I've noticed:
bending over can no longer be performed without "grunting"
I can no longer put my knickers on without sitting down or holding on to a wall.
and the worst?.......I can now feel "draughts"!!
raytheon1
Thanks again 'Huggerman and Tauruslady' for those cool comments! Loved the '8-track and car's references! Glad to see you're having fun! rolling on the floor laughing
tauruslady
Ha its even worse at 48 when your youngest daughter asks did they have cars when you were little lmao
HuggerMan4U
Funny, and all sadly true!

And to the lady who mentioned cassette tapes, I used to use 8-track tapes. rolling on the floor laughing
raytheon1
Thanks guys for the wonderful comments on this 'Top 10!' I'm really glad you found it enjoyable/comical. To write something is great, to have someone enjoy it is the 'greatest!' Thanks again it's much appreciated, Raytheon1! yay
Liana23
This is great raytheone.... what about when you know the relationship between a pencil and cassette tape. well old age is something to celebrate not everyone gets that privilege. thanks again for posting this list regards Liana:banana
bard76
bless you old man lol. i'm in stitches. loved it. your not old bloke! when your picking out your own headstone, thats when your old. lol. didnt get no7, must be an american thing. the stair one was hilarious. i loved them all. i depress people you lift them back up.awesome lolcool
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by raytheon1 (7 Top 10 Lists)
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Created: Aug 2012
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