GuyGardner: Doctor seeks his Impossible Girl

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I am awesome. Hear me roar. I am also a extroverted introverted misanthropist. It's a daily struggle having to endure the company of those less awesome than I. Pfft. Trapped as I am upon this mortal coil I begrudgingly carry on in the faint hope that somewhere out there is the Bonnie to my Clyde, Nancy to my Sid, Veronica to my JD, Daisy to my Jay, the Bacall to my Bogart. Not only am I awesome but I am also an ***hole the likes of which Denis Leary would be proud. I hate to socialize any more than I absolutely have to and I'm generally that guy at a house party who talks to the cat, scopes out the book collection and sneers at it, pretends to go to the bathroom and quietly sneaks out the door. Possibly to go home and read or watch films in bed. With wine. Because I'm classy like that. I generally hate texting and despise phone calls. So I will probably go a couple days without contacting you. Unless some emergency comes up - like I need you to come over and do my laundry or drop by with some tequila and chocolate. I will always hog the blankets. And snore and talk and possibly maybe fart in my sleep. Do you like scented candles? Good. Buy some and bring them over to mine with you.

I expect action on the first date, big time hot schexy action. I'll be wearing my Thundercats briefs in solid expectation. And I won’t sleep over. Yes this will be at your place because I don’t want you to know where I live. You crazy stalker. Also I will use your shower before I leave to save on water rates. To be with me you must accept my giant plush shark Bruce into your life and love all my favourite movies. You must enjoy spending your weekends dressing as a vigilante in fishnets and a domino mask and patrolling the night streets with me, ever watchful, ever vigilante. * Disclaimer: The above may or not be completely accurate or a true portrayal of myself. Just remember ladies: Everybody lies on their dating profiles...!

More about my Match

Emma Peel in her leather body suit and FMB's. Preferably in black and white also. I love a monochrome lady. Phroar.


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