lanzaman1: Guess what I got for Christmas?

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History of my relationships
On my honeymoon my first wife told me she previously was a hooker I said thats exciting tell me more
She said I used to be called Nigel and I played for Wigan
My second wife ran off with a dwarf !!
I really didnt think she could stoop that low
and finally my last girlfriend left as I spent all our money on a p*nis enlargement
When she left she told me she couldnt take it any longer !!
Guess what I got for Christmas ?
My 2 neighbours who are lesbians bought me a Rolex watch !!
I think they misheard I only said I wanted to watch They say a bottle of wine for a woman is the same as a roll of Duck tape for a man It fixes everything Im having a terrible time over here , my villa burnt down last week so I asked the insurance guy for some money to rebuild it He said no we do not work like that we do not give you the money , we replace everything just as it was before . I said in that case you better cancel my exs life insurance Love Holidays so decided it was better to be on holiday 50 weeks a year and go back to Uk to freeze and drown for 2 weeks visiting friends and relatives Got fed up with the SYSTEM and moved away for a better life Looking for someone who wants the same

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female :) For your safety: DO NOT ENTER personal info (real name, phone number, email address, mailing address, employment place) which may be spidered and added to lists and send you loads of spam. NO soliciting of ANY kind.

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IT

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