successheart1: looking for soulmate

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i will tell you about me, I suffer from emetophobia, agoraphobia and a disgusting panic disorder. This started about 10 years ago now, but never to the point there it disabled my life. I was always scared but now I'm scared to go out, can't go to stores FORGET the movies, and definitleyyyy forget going out to eat or going far distances from my house. My heart is literally broken, and I feel helpless. I have been in and out of therapy so many times that I seriously might as well be a therapist. It sucks going into therapy and everything they tell me, I ALREADY KNOW. I know that I'm suppose to expose myself to things I'm scared of, and I know that it's irrational. I know, I know, I know. lol. I also really think its bullshit that the only way to cure this is to literally scare the ever living shit out of myself. I wish that a reality tv show would follow me around and see how bad it is, so that maybe someone would find me someone that would really help me.". I get it, yessss I dooo. But the real question is, I'd like to consider myself a really good person, so why the f*ck is this happening to me? And the thing is, normally people are afraid they are going to die,. Or the shaking? Or better yet, the feeling of thinking im going to end up in a white room in a mental institution rocking back and forth cause I truly believe im going to lose my mind.
Alright guys, as you can tell I'm feeling pretty hostile right now, my apologies. I'm just so upset about this shit, it ruined my life so long ago. though i was disabled hope that dont count

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looking for a man who is honest and sincere about everything , i am not looking for something else a liar or cheaters ?

Occupation

i love natures

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