ironmaiden retired builder with sanity isues lol

My Details

I am: 74 yr-old man seeking woman, 50-60
Located in: Robinvale, Victoria, Australia, Oceania
Last online: Online over 1 month
Height: 5' 11" (180 cm)
Body Type: Slim/Slender
Hair Color: Salt & Pepper
Eye Color: Blue
Ethnicity: White/Caucasian
Education: Some College
Religion: Christian/Other
Occupation: Retired
Income: Less than $25,000
Smokes: Regularly
Drinks: Regularly
Marital Status: Separated
Has kids: Yes, they don't live with me
Wants kids: No, been there-done that
Sign: Virgo

More About Me

Ok--where shall I begin. I was born at a young age (so I have been told),I am planning on living carefully until I get old thereby leaving a fairly respectable corpse. My hair is falling out due to a mixture of age,gravity and years of sticking my head in amplifiers. I still have my own teeth,though not as many as I had back when I was fit and healthy.I also suffer from the misplaced idea that I am a werewolf/trainee priest with a love of curry-beer-Jamesons Irish whiskey and flame throwers,(handy to keep things at bay). Oh yeah, due to having major surgery last year I am what you would politely put as Desexed therefore I am looking for friends only, unless of course you know of a good surgeon who can repair me--lol.

More About my Match

1.Must be breathing (desirable). 2. Have the ability to carry inert objects (taxi optional). 3. the ability to hold mindless drunken conversation (preferable). 4. age is not a problem as long as she is not older than me (200).hair and eye colour is not a worry but red would be an advantage (both).All in all my ideal match would be me, but that obviously cannot be,(Well maybe). So basically I am looking for a female friend who can make me laugh, and has no long term plans to convert me to sanity. Applications close in 2020.