All my life love has become that thing kept my life in balance. When i'm happy with it i can fight the world.. when I'm being hurt with it, feels like the whole world is coming to get me.
And what am i feeling now? The whole world is coming to get me.
I never fall in love unless i really want to be loved by that person and to love that person. I never take love for a time pass activity or to anything els that some people take it.
But every time i fall in love I'm taken for a fool. I love that special person endlessly... and for that they take as I'm stupid. When the only thing i want is some little love I'm ignored to the most. And how does that feels?? I hope that person never has to get ignored like that in his life to feel it. Cos it hurts very bad..
Some times i wonder why this always happen to me when it comes to love. So far i have figured out that it is cos i fall in love only because i wanted to be loved. To be that special person in some one els life and not because i love that person. Because i love my self and i want to keep my self happy. May be that is why it hurt so much to be ignored that i go to sleep crying some nights and wake up in the morning crying. I give so much love, the best i can and now i realize its only because i have that hope that i'll get loved back as much as i give love.But what do i get? 1/100000000000 of what i give or even less.
Love unselfishly... how can one do that?
If love doesn't work, keep away from it... how can one do that?
When life gives me signals that ...ok... this time also its not going to work for u... i just ignore it. Cos i live with a hope that it will turn out to be my way. May be not today.. may be not tomorrow.. but soon it will be. But as time goes, nothing changes.. and your lost in your own hope taken for a fool.
Tin man in wizard of Oz may did not know that a heart can be hurt. Cos if he knew.. he would never walk all that way to find the wizard of oz.. to ask him to give him a heart.
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