When the math professor's wife returns home from work, she finds an envelope on the living room table. She opens it and finds a letter from her husband:
My dearest wife,
We have been married for nearly thirty years, and I still love you as much as on the day I proposed. You must realize, however, that you are now 54 years old and no longer able to satisfy certain needs I still have. I very much hope that you are not hurt to learn that, while you're reading this, I'm in a hotel room with an 18-year-old freshman girl from my calculus class. I'll be home before midnight.
Your husband, who will never stop loving you.
When the professor returns from the hotel shortly before midnight, he also finds an envelope in the living room. He opens it and reads:
My beloved husband,
You may recall that you, too, are 54 years old and no longer able to satisfy certain needs I still have. I thus hope that you are not hurt to learn that, while you're reading this, I am in a hotel room with the 18-year-old pool boy.
Your loving wife.
P.S. As a mathematician, you are certainly aware of the fact that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, don't stay up and wait for me.
MAN RULES
AT LAST A GUY(NOT ME) HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN
FINALLY, the guys' side of the story. ( I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.)
WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE
THESE ARE OUR RULES!
PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!
1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.
1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.
1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.
1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:
SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!
1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.
1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.
1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.
1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.
1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.
1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.
1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.
1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...
1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.
1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.
1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..
1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.
1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.
1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.
1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.
1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!
1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...
Here is is just a small selection:
Brazil from the last two months
(For copy protection purposes I am not posting photos directly on to blog)
Enjoy
Remember Respect all nature even things you do not like
Everything has its role in everything else's lives.
We need nature as much as it needs us.
Humanity is the earth's greatest disease
But we can also be its cure
so many complain and are depressed about life. I used to be one.
Well the answer is simple. Life is about making the best out of what you are given. so get up and out and do something amazing how ever big or small
Don't say you want to do something or go somewhere. then start umming and ahhing about it grow some balls just do it.
I'm in my early 40s and have changed my life for the better( still needs work)
Born with minor learning disabilities but major enough to struggle with education etc. had the usual bullying,teasing and rejection by girls etc
After been let go at a job I loved.I started doing Volunteer work for Local wildlife trust.
2 years ago I went on a project and spent 3 months working and living in the Ecuadorian Amazon. Doing Conservation Research and Education with local children. I loved it so much I sold my house and moved back with the old folks .
I am currently on my 2nd 8 month stint within South America, I'm on a reserve in the Alantic Rainforrest of Brazil( less than 7% remains) I'm doing Research, Education and lots of Photography( Sample :-
) Was asked back because of my skills and passions
Yes its hard as it does need money but I'm trying to get sponsorship / funding so I can do this fultime.
But iI would like to move out here eventually in a few years life is so much better here than Europe and health wise as well.
If you are interested in learning more about doing volunteering out here get in touch its so rewarding and volunteers are needed.
I also sell my Artwork as prints mugs etc so if interested get in touch.
But Most of all enjoy your life and be all you can be and please save the planet you live on it so its your resonsiblity
Riche101 Blog (4)