Funny Phrases
It is very difficult to have a comic timing that can liven up a party. It requires presence of mind and a whole lot of funny phrases. Hoping that you have been blessed with good presence of mind, here are some phrases that you can use to make someone go LOL...
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
If you are born ugly blame your parents, if you died ugly blame your doctor.
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.
I married "Miss Right". Unfortunately, I didn't know that her first name was "Always".
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
I am planning to be more spontaneous in the future.
Before you borrow money from a friend, decide which you need more.
They've got a picture of her at the hospital - it saves using the stomach pump.
There is an exception to every rule, except this one.
The wise never marry, and when they marry they become otherwise.
Love is photogenic, it needs darkness to develop.
When you are working late, the boss will never be around. When you are surfing the net the boss will always drop by.
Funny Slogans
Here are some slogans that you can use on T-Shirts or bumper stickers that is sure to bring a smile on the lips of the person reading the same:
If there is no god, who pops up the next kleenex?
Jesus saves sinners and redeems them for cash and valuable prizes.
If at first you don't succeed skydiving, it is not for you.
Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two it's an amusement park.
People who say you can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.
I am a Nobody. Nobody is Perfect. Therefore I am Perfect.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
If Noah had been smart he would have swatted those two flies.
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
How come we have to choose from just 2 persons for president, and 50 for Miss America?
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.
The more I learn about terrorism, the more I understand the phone company.
Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken. A lifetime commitment for a pig.
I want to die while asleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
So, don't be shy to use some clever slogans or phrases at any social event. However, make sure you time things right and say catchy and humorous phrases to people who won't be offended. In return, you will be rewarded with many smiles and laughs. Enjoy!
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