Part II of: (Thoughts in July-2008)
The husband was more than happy to carry out the vicious setup. He went home and immediately began to practice all the unscrupulous suggests that the lawyer had given him. Vindictive thoughts or comments with hidden objectives were the quickest way to inflict hurt and triumph or strength.
The attorney called the man to tell him that the papers were ready to be served. “Why would I want to divorce her? She is an incredible woman, even better than when I first fell in love with her. She is everything I dreamed. Why would I want to divorce her?”
It is a corny story. Nevertheless, the point is clear certain actions create results. By taking concrete steps to engender, passion and romance…you keep that flame alive throughout the years of your relationship and hope fully a marriage or life lasting relationship may ensue.
As obvious as it sounds, you and your partner, we, need to spend time together. I mean ample and consistent time together.
Some couples do not see each other all week and then expect the romance to rekindle during a Saturday night, perhaps lets say a Sunday evening between the hours of 6pm and 10pm. Keeping in mind baths, dinner and household chores have been completed! That just may leave enough time for some cuddling if one of you is not asleep by then!
Take time each day to consciously draw on each other, even if its 5 minutes in the morning or at night.
Spend plenty of time praying for her or him. This greatly affects love for each other. When you prayer for your other, he or she is right at the center of your consciousness. All your hopes and best wishes are focused on that person as you ask God {or whom ever}, to intervene in his or her life.
Confining in one to make another better is a sacrifice within itself that may let the other know how special they really are to you. Find a way both of you can serve each other, YES in the flesh and psychologically! After all, the touching and intimacy make it special and unforgettable.
Caring for others makes us feel good about ourselves. We are most attractive to those people in whose presence we feel best about ourselves. When you and I or I and you provide togetherness and feel great about it, all kinds of positive, loving feelings are bound to follow.
This is just a solid beginning. I guess it may be an awakening, perhaps even a sleeping giant (or dwarf), never the less a lesson learned and a lesson carried to whom it may be that even got this far reading it! Thanks for hearing me!
Just Thinking Tonight
A Weekend Alone in July
As I spent nearly 15 years working with troubled youth, and encountered various questions. There seemed to be an anomaly that surrounded certain internal discomfort. Really it was only the questions that pertained to marriage, relationship, or even parenthood. Of course the responsibility and countless other factors surrounding these enigmas made me quiver. I just followed directions and answered as the ‘Adult’ who should know.
Most people seem to view relations, (more specific) marital passion or marriage within it self as a mysterious force that comes and goes with no rhyme or reason. They assume it is natural law that as a marriage or relationship gains years, it loses passion. Lets not even dwell on the past ignorant others that have done nothing but hamper the progress of thoughts and fantasies not shared with the one we speak of.
I can tell you that I have seen nothing to suggest that either of these viewpoints is an unavoidable fact. It is all too common that these beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies. Based on personal experiences, No! Observation of many around me leads to my conclusion. Let us face it, it’s there, more around us are or have been divorced, separated or split than those that have ten plus years together.
In my heart, I believe that we control passionate feelings. They can be coaxed. They can be created, most often, when you are not even sure they still exist. For example, it is almost as if we never catch each other’s gaze across the room anymore. At one time, a 100 people or so filtered it perhaps. Frequently and most often when coping, or should I say, “taking a step back”, I am reminded of an old story.
It is lame but interesting, feel free to change the circumstances, why not the ending is what's important.
A man went to his attorney and announced that he was ready for a divorce. He no longer found his wife attractive. She was sarcastic, scornful, and obscure. The two were at war, fighting constantly and he had grown to repugnance her. Envy is benign in this instance but consideration to all those questions asked early on, well they echo and linger.
The attorney listened for a while and then offered the following suggestion. “I can hear how much you detest this woman and I have a plan to inflict maximum damage on her. Go home and spend the next 30 days treating her like the most important person in the world. Engage her in conversation and listen attentively. Do not ask her to help around the house. Take her to dinner, and see a romantic movie once a month. Do everything in your power to be kind to her. You will have set her up for the biggest hurt of her life! Then we will serve her.
Go to Part II
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