Intro. Searching.
...I'm new to this blog thing, never did it before but hope it will do good for me. Never liked to "put thoughts on paper" and even less liked to reread them. Sometimes it was a feeling I had...felt ashamed. Wierd, right? It shouldn't be like that. It's an abnegation...of me, of who I am. I have a feeling I'm searching for something but moving round in circles, and still didn't find for that something. I have a feeling I'm not who I really am but I'm someone who I'm suppose to be. I was suppose to be a good little girl, to grow up into a respectable young woman, a good wife and a good mother. But it didn't work out. And I don't know why.I was not a good wife.
I am not a good mother. But I'm trying to be. I'm trying very hard. That doesn't mean I don't love my kid. I adore him. But love and responsabilitie are two things on the same balance to me.
It's hard for me because I'm a selfish, egoistic person. I need my personal space just like I need the air that I breath. Sad, but true. I count myself among those women who are not crazy about the motherhood. But I wish I could be.
Comments (1)
I see no problem for you when it comes to Love and you do that for your children and im sure others too.I see you as one gone through a bit of tough time in life but still you seem quite okay for me,just remind yourself that and take a hold of your choices that you want to make and not what others expect from you.
(Im trying to be..., But I wish I could....) These words are a good start from you and to make the changes you want to in your own life.Give yourself another chance and who knows it can turn out a lot better than you thought.